Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Feeling Down

Good morning.  This is probably not going to be an altogether happy post so feel free to skip.  Feeling a little down today.  Got a call from my mom last night and Grandma is slowly slipping away.  She's now having seizures fairly regularly throughout the day.  They hope to move her to the nursing home today and then they'll call hospice in to do what they do.  Reality was setting in for my grandfather yesterday and he's quite upset (of course).  I'm glad my mother can be with him.  She's the oldest daughter of six kids so I think he looks to her for taking care of everything.  My mom is, undoubtedly, up to the task but I feel for him and her.  It sounds like it's starting to take a bit of a toll on her but I think she's holding up OK.  Hubby checked out flights last night and good lord they're expensive!  We had been trying to work out how we would both be able to go as far as finding care for the kids but I think finances are going to dictate that only I go when the time comes.  While none of this is unexpected as my grandmother's health has been deteriorating for quite some time, it is still tough to go through.  I'm glad all 6 of her kids are up with her and the majority of the grandchildren are too.  There are only a few of us who live further away.  Oh well...enough of that.

Checking in on yesterday - not quite as good as the day before:

  • No cookies - Check
  • No chocolate - Check
  • No fast food (Mon-Fri) - Check
  • No coffee house coffee (Mon-Fri) - Check
  • No eating out (Mon-Fri) - No Check
  • Get all my water in - Check
  • Work out at least 3 days - No Check
  • Minimal snacking - Not bad

  • Alright...I'll tackle the eating out first - I ate out twice yesterday.  Lunch wasn't my fault (oh yeah...I'm gonna make an excuse).  I had brought leftover fish.  I took one bite of it and realized it had turned so I picked up lunch yesterday.  I think the risk of food poisoning warranted it.  However, the choice could've been A LOT better and THAT'S where I'm going to be held accountable.  I had 2 taquitos, refried beans and 2 forkfuls of rice.  Eek!  As for dinner, no excuse here except laziness.  Hubby and I didn't want to cook so we ordered pizza...and breadsticks...and cinnamon sticks.  Good lord!  Hubby and I talked to eachother about it and while it's obvious we're both enablers for poor eating, we've got to stop it!

    Working out.  Ummm...right.  What's exercise mean again?  Legs were feeling fine...just didn't get it done.  That's all I'm saying about this because it's like beating a dead horse.

    Snacking - Overall, not bad.  Had some chips at work.  No snacks otherwise and chips are now gone so I won't be doing that today.

    I have a parent/teacher conference at Maddie's school today.  I can't remember if I mentioned this previously but her teacher has been out since October due to family health issues.  She had one sub through Christmas break and now another sub through the end of the year.  No, I have not been real happy about this but Maddie seems to like this new one quite a bit.  Hopefully this'll be a productive meeting but I'm not holding my breath.  For every other class, they had conferences at the end of October (we didn't because it wasn't clear when or if her teacher would be coming back and the sub obviously didn't know anything to do it) and now they're having a secondary conference where they've gotten to know your child better and would be able to tell you if they had improved or whatever since the last conference.  Obviously, we've been cheated in this regard.  I'm trying to go in with an open mind but I've been pretty annoyed about it all year.

    My brother-in-law (wow...this is turning into a long, random post) is doing fine...thanks to all who have asked.  He ended the clinical trial this past week but they're going to let him keep taking the meds for another 6 months.  I'm not sure if they'll re-evaluate at that time and allow him to stay on it if he wants to but at least he can for the next 6 months...I think he'll be OK during this time as the meds have worked really well for him.  

    That's where we're at with everything lovelies.  Tomorrow is March 1st and for those of you paying attention, that is weigh day.  It's odd that I picked a Thursday to weigh in as my weigh in days have historically been Mondays but I liked the idea of doing it on the 1st.  I'm scared to death to step on the scale and see what kind of damage I've done.  There I said it.  But we all have to face the music sometime and for me, that music is tomorrow.  Expect another down and out post then.  

    I promise someday the positivity will return.  Just not sure when.  In an attempt to lighten the mood, I give you a Leap Year Giggle:


    Leslie said...

    I totally feel you on the enabling with poor food choices with your husband. Marc & I do that quite a bit and it's hard when you can have someone else help you justify the pizza, chinese food, or whatever it is that you are ordering out. We did awful last week with the take out so this week we said NO TAKE OUT and so far we have been sticking with it. In our patterns I have found that if I stay strong then Marc can't talk me into it, but if I'm feeling like take-out then it doesn't take much to talk him into it.

    I'm very sorry about your grandmother, my thoughts are with your family. It's tough to see any loved one go through this.

    Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

    You've got a lot on your plate. Don't beat yourself up! Hang in there, I hope things get better!

    Dawnya said...

    I'm with Tessie. Don't beat yourself up. Stress gets us everytime. You will bounce back. Both you and the hubs have to get on the same it is critical to both of your success. How is his band treating him?

    Stacey said...

    I am very sorry to hear about your grandmother. It makes it especially hard when you can't be there. I was fortunate enough that I had time to drive home to be with my grandmother when they took her off life support. I had to drive 28 hours straight to get there, but I made it.

    Don't beat yourself up over food, life happens in spite of the best laid plans. Just keep going and have more good days than bad. :)

    Great news about your BIL, I am so happy for him.

    JRD said...

    Aw lady, I feel for you. I'm so sorry things are stressful right now. It will get better. I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother and hope that your grandfather is ok. Just sending you a big ol' hug...and you can post whatever the heck you want on your blog, upper or downer! I will still read it, and still send you virtual love...

    Sarah G said...

    ((BIG HUGS))

    Andrea said...

    I'm so sorry about your grandma!!! I'll be praying for you and your family! HUGS!

    Ronnie said...

    I'm sorry your family is going through so much right now, sweetie. I know it's taking its toll on you, so I think the weigh-in is the least of our worries. Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other, that's all I'd be able to do if it were my family dealing with all of this.

    But it probably won't be as bad as you think! :)

    Amanda Kiska said...

    I'm sorry about your grandma. That just stinks.

    It sounds like you're doing pretty well sticking to your goals. Progress not perfection, right?

    How frustrating with your child's teacher situation! My daughter had a similar experience a few years ago. She had a teacher (her "main" teacher) for half the day and then went to another classroom. Well, that lasted about three months and then they changed it so that she was in yet another teacher's class and had no half day teacher. My daughter rolled with it - I think it stressed me out more than it did her. I'm sure your daughter will too!