Wednesday, November 30, 2011

When You Have Nothing To Post...

It's time to bore people.

I haven't gotten pictures uploaded yet so you'll have to wait to see my little darling all princess'd up.  Honestly, there just isn't much to report.  I'm still eating like crap.  I'm still not exercising.  It's the last day of the month and no way am I going to hit my exercise goal.  Overall, I'm just not motivated to do much right now.  I don't know if it's just because the last couple weeks have been so busy.  I don't know if it's because that until I get the hang of the new job, there isn't much to do so I'm boredom eating.  I don't know what the deal is.  I DO know it's not just me.  I'm seeing it all over Blogland lately.  Outside of Blogland, I'm seeing it in my own house.  Hubby is pretty down about having to have another surgery (which insurance still hasn't pre-approved yet) and the fact that it seems that nothing can go easy for us...EVER.  He has virtually no restriction (can't get a fill because of the stupid flipped port) so he's fallen off the deep end with the food lately too.  Last night some family drama creeped in again and that's never a good thing.

So there you have it.  The poor, poor pitiful me story of Panda.  But, but, but for the first time in awhile, I think I found something I want to do.  It's the Color Run!  The link is here.  Basically it's a 5k that benefits a Children's Medical Center and they blast you with paint at each 1k marker.  Some details below.  Hubby and I are thinking of doing it together and maybe even letting the kids come along.  Not sure if they could make it a whole 3 miles but we'll see.  If I do with Hubby and the kids, I'll obviously walk it but if I do it on my own, I'm going to try to run it.  It's in January so we'll see how it shakes out.  They have them in several states, so you may want to check out the link and see if there's one near you.  

The Color Run is a one of a kind experience that is less about speed and more about enjoying a color crazy day with your friends and family.  For our events, it is about people of all different speeds, ages, shapes, and sizes toeing the start line.  Whether you are a casual morning mall walker or an Olympic athlete, the 3 miles of the Color Run course will be the most enjoyable real estate you’ve traveled in a VERY long time.  (If you have more questions about how it all works, check out our “ABOUT” page.)
Rule #1
 All participants are welcome… fast, slow, runner, walker, old, and young.
Rule #2 White shirt dress code at the official start line and ready to roll no later than 9am sharp!
Rule #3  Completely colored Willy Wonka goodness at the finish.

What else?  Oh!  The meeting the other day went pretty well.  We had 40 items to touch on and got through half of them so I had to schedule a follow up.  Facilitating wasn't nearly as scary as I thought and I just had a few things to follow up on so no biggie one way or another.  

That's all I got folks.  It is Wednesday, however, and with some lucky Wednesdays, you get a Hump Day Happy Thought...

Monday, November 28, 2011

Weigh In 11.28.11

161. +1 from last week and +2 from my lowest.  Eek!  Good thing I had those NSV's last week because the scale sure wasn't kind.  I know where it came from though.  Too much indulgence in sweets and booze.  Onward and downward from here.

Yesterday was my youngest daughter's 4th birthday party.  She turns 4 tomorrow so we did it a couple days early to have it on a weekend.  She finally settled on a princess theme and she truly looked the part.  I'll post pics as soon as I can get them on my laptop.  She's been fighting a cold and almost fell asleep halfway through but she stuck it out and had a great time.  It was just the family so not a big deal if she fell asleep or not.  We had South Carolina barbecue in her honor and I must say Hubby did a fantastic job with the food.  Of course, this also contributed to the scale being mean this morning but I digress.

I have fairly little going on over the next couple weeks other than your typical work holiday stuff.  I'm going to do my best to get back on track so that I can at least maintain over the holidays overall.  I bought some good salad stuff to eat for lunches over this week just to give my body a break from all the carby crap I've been having lately.  I'm actually looking forward to it.

The new job is going pretty well.  I'm leading my first big meeting this morning (yep...I've been doing this 2 weeks...sure, I'm ready to lead a big meeting with auditors and vendors and what not..sure.  No problem.  Ahem...) and I'm just a touch nervous about it.  The most annoying thing is they still don't have a permanent desk for me so I move from desk to desk depending on who's out.  The one I'm at this week is absolutely disgusting and I got to spend the first half hour of my day getting all the dust out.  Great start to the week.

I hope everyone had a magnificent holiday weekend and survived all the family togetherness it brings.  And now your Monday DEMotivator:

Friday, November 25, 2011

Thanksgiving NSV's

What a busy couple of days!

I took Wednesday off of work so I could get my baking and some prep done for the big day.  My day started off with a Turkey Trot at my oldest daughter's school.  In an effort to promote physical fitness, every year, the day before Thanksgiving they invite parents to come to a self-paced run with their kids.  Not only did I overcome my "I really feel uncomfortable around other parents I don't know" thing and go to this Turkey Trot.  I ran with my daughter.  Yepperooni... I jogged right around that little track (It's 1st grade so we're not talking a quarter mile track here or anything) and could've kept going except my daughter got tired after 5 laps so we called it good.  Not only am I really proud of myself for going and doing it.  I'm proud for how I felt about it.  Other than debating how it would affect this chest cold I'm still fighting (FYI - It really doesn't help to do cardio if you have a chest cold), I never debated how I would look or if people would laugh at the "fat lady trying to run with her kid" or anything like that.  There's no negative self talk.  There was no self conscious side of me telling me that I look dumb or jiggly or out of my element.  It was just me doing something my daughter really wanted me to do and I felt good about that.  I also felt good that we outlasted half of her classmates.  LOL.  In all honesty, a year ago I probably wouldn't have even gone to the event, much less actually participated in it.  Just another small example of how grateful I am to have gotten 70 lbs off of me in the last 15 months.  Truly a great moment for me.

Once I was done with that part, I went home and baked 3 pies, prepared 2 sides and made crab dip.  Then I went and finished up my baby girl's birthday shopping.  VERY productive day.  Throughout all the baking and cooking, I managed to ONLY eat lunch and dinner.

Thanksgiving morning, I was up bright and early to get my 21 lb turkey in my mom's oven.  Then I had breakast with the family, and we spent the day at my mom's house eating and drinking to our heart's content.  We had our first glass of holiday egg nog to kick off the season.  I made the best apple pie I have EVER made and it was so pretty too!  Here's the NSV for this one.  I had a few crackers with chip for hors d'voures, one plate of food and dessert (small sampling of each of the 3 pies...probaby equalled 1 big piece).  In years past, I would've eaten my weight in crab dip and crackers, had at least 2 plates of food + an extra helping of mashed potatoes, and dessert twice.  Not to mention, the left over meal everyone has later in the day.  This year, this was my lunch and dinner.  There was no second Thanksgiving meal later in the day.  This was it.  Couldn't imagine eating anything else, I was so stuffed.  Did I overindulge?  Probably.  Was it improvement?  Definitely.  I consider this an NSV.

Today I'm at work...debating on taking a half day so I can be off at 9:30 but we'll see if I stick it out through the day.  Feeling pretty tired.  My back aches and I'm pretty sure I pinched something in my neck but overall doing OK this morning.  I hope you all had a great holiday!  For you Black Friday people, may your fellow shoppers not be crazy, the deals be plentiful and the credit card be paid off by January!  And in honor of all you crazy people out there since midnight last night, this Friday Funny is for you!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Scale Avoidance

OK...So we've all read blogs and answered questions about how we feel about the scale.  Obviously we have the love/hate see numbers go down, hate seeing numbers go up.  Most of us never looked at scale, owned a scale, possibly even acknowledged the existence of scales while we were gaining all of our weight unless we were on one of the countless diets to lose the weight.  Then we've answered the questions of how often we weigh...daily vs weekly vs monthly vs 18 times a day in varying degrees of nudity.  Some of you have divorced your scales while others get on on it religiously.

I've commented on many of your blogs about this but thought I'd put it out there in my own.  I weigh every week, religiously, never to miss unless I'm out of town or something but since I never travel this is rarely an issue.  I don't weigh every day because daily fluctuations can really mess with my head.  One day of too much sodium can wreak havoc on a daily weigh in and I just don't need that kind of stress.  I can't divorce the scale (yet) because I gained all of my weight when I didn't even own a scale.  So weekly works for me.  It allows me to see steady progress sometimes over too much time but overall, gives me a sense of where I really am.  If I always retain water on Mondays because I never drink it on the weekends (ahem) then it's still an accurate reading as long as I'm always retaining water on Mondays.  Make sense?  Good.

So why am I talking about the scale today?'s a little bit of accountability for yours truly.  This morning was the first morning in a VERY long time where I actually debated whether or not to weigh in today.  I was about to make the conscious decision NOT to weigh myself this week.  Why?  Because of how I ate this weekend.  I had Starbucks EVERY DAY.  I had CANDY, chips and half a soda on Friday.  I ate at a buffet for the first time in a year on Saturday, overindulged on desserts and had 4 pina coladas!  4 creamy luscious, high-calorie pina coladas.  Sunday saw fried jalapeno coins and onion rings...steak fries!  A milkshake!  Apparently, I lost my mind somewhere this weekend and really just took on a "F*** it!" approach to eating.  And did I work out and be extra active to make up for this?  Oh no!  Not I!  I got in a whopping 45 minutes of activity.  "At least you drank your water Panda."  Nope...sure didn't.  I had iced tea, pina coladas (as previously mentioned), soda and pretty much NUSSIN' else!  So when I woke up and looked at the scale,  I knew it wasn't going to be good.  I knew I had a terrible weekend and I didn't want to own up to it.  I didn't want to step on the scale and see that number go up after hitting an all time low last week.  I didn't want to feel that anguish and disappointment of another bad week that always seems to come with a gain on the scale.

Don't worry.  I'm not looking for a "It's a new week.  You can do it!" comment or "We all fall off the wagon sometimes" comment or even a "Get off your butt and do something about it" wake up call comment.  I've already done all of that in my head.  Let's face it.  It's Thanksgiving week.  I'm not saying that as an excuse to go apeshit and eat everything in sight all week long but there's definitely going to be some overindulgence.  There just is.  I'm making 3 homemade pies, mashed potatoes, yams and buying wine by the gallon.  If you think for one second that I won't sample in all that, then I've seriously misled you on how much progress I've made this year.  But here's the difference.  I know that whatever nominal gain I have over this week or even the entirety of the silly season, I'll take it back off.  I know what I need to do.  I know how to work my band.  I know that it's not the end of the world, the end of my journey or any major indicator of the type of person I am or am going to be.  It's a number that will go up and down depending on my actions and how much effort I put into staying where I want to be.  And I'm up to that challenge and the emotional roller coaster that stepping on that scale will bring.

Weigh In: 160.  +1 from last week...not as bad as it could've been.

Your Monday DEMotivation:

Friday, November 18, 2011

Thanksgiving BYOC

Thanks Draz!  It’s Friday and that means it’s time for another installment of BYOC! That’s Bring Your Own Crazy!! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire – and ENJOY!

I’m going to do a Thanksgiving themed BYOC this week (it was Jenny’s idea)!

1. What is your FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving?

The food!  What do you expect from a fatty?  I love Thanksgiving food.  Not so much the turkey (although it's good) but all the carby goodness that comes with it!  Rolls, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pie!!!  Mmmmm....I cook on Thanksgiving and I take painstaking efforts to make sure that all if it superdeliciously fantastic!
2. How many Thanksgiving family events will you attend?

Just 1.  The one I'm hosting at my mom's house.  Grateful that inlaws don't live nearby so it's not ever an option.

3. What’s your biggest Thanksgiving tradition?

We don't have BIG traditions.  Just little ones.  I take the day before off of work every year and do all my baking.  My mom and I have our first glass of eggnog Thanksgiving night to kick off the Christmas season.  We've done this since I was kid but as an adult, we've added Southern Comfort (I'm pretty sure my mom always did.  LOL).  When I was a kid, we did a cornucopia every year but since I don't have one, we don't do it at my house (I think I'd like to start this one up again).  Football and food.  Basic traditions.
4. Do you Black Friday shop the day after Thanksgiving?

Lord no!  People out there are crazy!
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.

Real life is good. No major concerns this week, no one in the hospital, no one having surgery...thank goodness.  I started my new job and am learning tons.  I'm trying to get everything ready for Thanksgiving and my daughter's birthday so I'm feeling the heat, so to speak, on that stuff.  

Blogland - It seems kind of quiet out there.  A couple people are gearing up for surgery next week (right before Thanksgiving...not sure how I'd do with that).  But mostly, people are just muddling through.  Seems like there's a lot of "real life" drama going on that people are going through that make focusing on weight loss difficult.  Remember...these are life blogs - not just weight loss blogs.  Sometimes getting it all out there helps.  Just sayin'. honor of the holiday.  A Thanksgiving Friday Funny.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Bad Food and NSV

Bless me Blogland for I have sinned...I ate french fries and had soda yesterday.  Brings my November balance to 3 orders of fries and like 3 sodas or something.  I'll have to do the real math tomorrow.  Oh well.  It is what it is.

NSV:  I'm wearing my shirt tucked in today.  I haven't worn a shirt tucked in since probably 1999.  Now, the shirt is 2 sizes too big so it was really the only way to make it look presentable (Yes...I need to do more shopping.  It's the holidays, you's a bit tight).  Anyway...not too shabby.  I think I look OK and I don't think it's one of those "OMG!  Look at the fat girl with her shirt tucked in!" looks.  Wahoo!

So big day for Hubby yesterday.  He turned in his resignation at work and is officially quitting his job to open his own practice.  He's really nervous (so am I) and scared about what could happen but I really believe in the long run, this is the best thing he can do for himself and for us.  Here's hoping we can make it work.

So that's all I got for today.  Hope you're having a great week.  Friday is almost here!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Not Much to Report

I don't really have any updates.  Exercise has been nonexistent since the weekend.  Food choices have been so-so but so far all home made which is an improvement over recent weeks.  I started the new job on Monday and so far, it's good.  It's a little overwhelming as I'm really out of my comfort zone but also cool to be learning something new.  They definitely have a lot of confidence in my being able to revamp some thing and create some new processes.  I'm not sure what gave them the impression I could do that but I appreciate the vote of confidence.  :)

My brother in law is doing well.  He's back at home with his arm in a sling (The infection was in his elbow.  Isn't it odd that an infection in your elbow could cause such a big problem?) and is recovering well.  Hubby still doesn't have a surgery date for his flipped port.  I know he's frustrating and it's super annoying that he's having this problem.  I really need them to be able to get him in before the end of the year so that it gets paid for before our insurance changes.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Otherwise, I'm just ramping up for Thanksgiving and my youngest daughter's birthday.  She keeps changing her mind on the theme...we've gone from Bunnies to Hello Kitty to Race Cars to a repeat of the Minnie Mouse birthday.  She needs to settle on something soon so I can get my stuff together.  Her birthday party is the weekend after Thanksgiving so it's always hectic.  I'm hosting Thanksgiving again...kind of.  Our new place is too small to have everyone over so we're doing it at my parents' house but I'll still be doing all the cooking.  I can't wait for all the yummy food.  I admit I let myself go a little overboard for the holidays.  This year, the goal is to not gain anything.  So far I've resisted the Jack in the Box eggnog milkshakes.  Mmmmmmmmmmmm.  Seriously sinful.

So that's all I got for today.  Boring post but what can I say?  Around here, I relish in boring because if it's not boring, it's usually bad news.  With that positive outlook, I'll leave you with a Hump Day Happy Thought.

Monday, November 14, 2011


Weigh In: 159.  A new decade and officially 70 lbs gone!!!  It took forever to get out of the 160's for me but I finally made it so keeping with tradition...what does 70 lbs look like?

I've also lost both of my girls PUT TOGETHER!  It feels pretty good!

I did OK over the weekend.  Pouch test was a fail but whatevs.  I logged 150 minutes in activity over the weekend so I feel good about that.  Friday was spent baking about 200 cookies that we gave away yesterday at the Susan G Komen 3 Day.  We went to the cheering station to give away cookies and cheer everyone on.  I did this walk last year and it felt good to kind of pay it forward and get out there and give the walkers some encouragement.  Hubby is thinking of doing it next year.  Of course, I'd want to do it with him so we'll see.  NSV here:  I did not have a single cookie.  The girls had a few each day (the day we baked and the day we distributed).  Hubby had one too. I resisted...and they looked GOOD.

I drank absolutely no water over the weekend so that was no bueno.  I didn't really replace it with sugary drinks or anything...I just didn't drink much of anything at all so I've got to get back to that.  I have my water cup already filled and ready to go.  Saturday I cleaned my house top to bottom so now this weekend, I'll only need to give it a once over so I can concentrate on Thanksgiving preparations.

So it's about where I am with my November goals?

  • NO SODA!!!  AT ALL.  - 3x total for the month so far (an improvement over last month but still)
  • Only healthy snacking.  Running tally...chips, pretzel bites, oreos, a slice of going away cake at work (Still not bad)
  • Do my best to cook at home and not eat out.  - I think I'm up to 5x so far for the month which really isn't bad at all since I eat out once a week with a girl from work.  It's tradition and I chose a healthier option both times.
  • NO french fries.  Twice
  • MOVE.   - 180 minutes down, 320 to go.  Doable.

So I guess that's about it.  I start my new job today.  I have no idea what I'm doing but hopefully I'm a quick study.  So in honor of all the possibilities this position can bring...I present your Monday DEMotivator:

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Pouch Test - Day 2 - Fail

Alright.  Let's get it over with.
Breakfast:  Coffee
Snack: Special K protein drink
Lunch: Potato Leek soup (Very yummy!)
Snack: Nothing
Dinner: Taco Bell

Yep.  I said Taco Bell.  The emotional eater in me took over after the stress of yesterday and we had Taco Bell for dinner.  The silver lining.  I didn't have soda with the Taco Bellso small improvement.*sigh*

Today's Plan:
Breakfast: Coffee
Snack:  Special K protein drink
Lunch: Tuna fish (no bread or crackers)
Dinner:  Chili

Thank you all for the good thoughts for Brother in Law yesterday.  It was a long and stressful day awaiting news.  The problem is nothing is simple when you have terminal brain cancer.  For the last six months, he's been in a clinical trial that has kept the tumor stable (not growing).  The operation threatened to take him out of said trial, including chemo which means the tumor would begin growing again.  But, it seems as though everything will work out.  They took the infection out before it had spread to any other tissue or his blood.  The cancer docs say that if he heals well and doesn't miss more than 2 rounds of treatment, he can stay in the study.  So we're keeping our fingers crossed that this was merely a hiccup in his treatment plan.

To add to the stress of yesterday.  I found out my grandfather (he's like 86 or something) has to have a cyst removed from one of the discs in his back.  So surgery for him as well.  That's not so bad in and of itself but he's not going to be able to lift anything for awhile and he takes care of my grandmother, who has Parkinsons and can barely move.  They're very hesitant about having help brought in but I don't really see the alternative.    So there's that.

I hope y'all are having a better week than I am.  At least it's Hump Day...week is half over.  Yay!  And maybe a Hump Day Happy Thought is in order.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Pouch Test - Day 1

Day went off without a hitch.  I almost bailed at dinner time and had chili with a piece of bread but I resisted.  It's not even that I was SO hungry as much as I just didn't want liquids.  I don't know how y'all did this preop thing.  I never had a preop diet other than keep it sensible the week before so now I can see that I never could have stuck to it.  But I digress...Here's Day 1:
Breakfast:  Coffee with sugar and cream (yes...real sugar and real cream)
Snack:  Special K Protein drink
Lunch: Sweet potato cream soup (didn't like this)
Snack: More coffee
Dinner: Orange juice you've probably figured out a problem up there, right?  Not a whole lot to it but honestly I just wasn't feeling it and I didn't want anymore of that soup so I didn't eat any.  Seemed easier to just go to bed than figure out what to have.  Today's plan...we'll see how it shapes up.
Breakfast:  Coffee with sugar and cream
Snack: Special K protein drink (seeing a pattern yet?)
Lunch:  Creamy Potato Leek soup
Snack: Sugar free pudding
Dinner:  More soup

We'll see how it goes.  I'll be happy to at least get through the workday.  So I have an non weight related thing that's bugging me.  My oldest daughter (she's 6) was telling me yesterday that her friends have been making fun of her about some stuff recently.  For instance, liking guacamole is a huge no-no for the first grade.  The other stuff was her backpack.  A little history on the backpack...we bought her a brand new one with matching lunchbox at the beginning of the year.  The zippers on this piece of crap broke TWICE.  I finally returned it.  So she's using her old one from last year which I guess has a "baby" character on it... Then her friends called her a baby for watching Nick Jr.  I guess I just don't know how to really handle it.  I told her all the things I was supposed to...that "you could find something to pick on about everyone but it isn't very nice and if they have a problem with what TV shows she watches, that's THEIR problem, not hers...blah, blah, blah."  But inside, I wanted to cry.  I think she may be a "dork" and I'VE made her that way.  Ya know what I mean?  I had to fight the urge to go buy her a new backpack right then and there.  Ugh.  Is it so wrong for a 6 year old to act like a 6 year old these days?  I'm sorry but what is wrong with Nick Jr or PBS (Wo.rd.G.irl, Ele.ctri.c Co.mpa.ny??).  Heaven forbid kids watch age appropriate stuff!  But maybe I'm just trying to keep her little?  I don't know.  The other issue is she has a 4 year old little sister who certainly isn't interested in iCarly or one of the dozen other "big kid" shows.  I realize I'm overthinking this but it breaks my heart to know her feelings were hurt.

OK...enough with all that.  I just received word that my brother-in-law (the one with brain cancer) has an infection and they need to do surgery today.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Flipped Port & Progress

It's not my port.  It's Hubby's.  He had an appointment for a fill on Friday and the doc told him his port had flipped so he needs another surgery.  :(  While we're not happy about this, doc says it's a fairly simple procedure.  He'll be knocked out again but they don't have to blow him up with the gas again or anything.  Just open him up, flip it back around (they're going to go ahead and fill it up then too so at least he'll have some restriction when he wakes up), sew it back and there ya go.  Hubby is annoyed with the setback but hopefully this'll be the last one he faces.

Weigh In:  160.  -2 lbs from last week and a new low!  Wahoo!  I can definitely tell a difference with this fill but  I still don't think it's optimal and will probably try to get one more before the new year and my insurance switches over.

So, Robyn got me thinking about the 5 day pouch test last week and I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to help kick the carb cravings and "reset" my band.  Hubby figured this week would be good since we have no major events and he was getting a fill on Friday anyway.  Well, despite not getting his fill, we've decided to do it anyway.  For anyone not familiar with the 5 Day Pouch Test.  Here's a quick rundown.  You can also see it here.
Days 1 & 2 - Liquid Protein
Day 3 - Soft Protein
Day 4 - Firm Protein
Day 5 - Solid protein
Truthfully, my Days 3 and 4 are going to look pretty similar but I think that's alright.  On the menu for today: 2 Special K protein drinks, sugar free pudding, and sweet potato cream soup.  As much of it as I want, per the instructions.  It will probably be something similar tomorrow.  And how am I doing with my November goals, you ask?

  • NO SODA!!!  AT ALL.  - I had it twice over the weekend
  • Only healthy snacking.  I had chips and pretzel bites over the weekend.
  • Do my best to cook at home and not eat out.  - Only ate out twice this weekend and shared an entree both times.  This is improvement.
  • NO french fries.  I had them once
  • MOVE.   - Got in 30 minutes over the weekend.  Not great.
So I could write a big ol' long post about familial sabotage on the french fry and soda front but I won't.  It's been discussed and we're over it.  It's out of the house so there we go.  Feeling good about this week.

And for the Monday DEMotivation:

Friday, November 4, 2011

BYOC 11.4.11

Yep...that's a dumb title.  And this will be a dumb post.  I really don't have anything to report.  I feel I've done better so far this week with my eating but not as good as I'd like.  But any improvement lately should be celebrated.  It's supposed to be in the 60's this weekend so I'm thinking walking around the zoo is in order working with my oldest on the whole big girl bike thing.  Some outdoor activity MUST be in the cards.  So this fill has kicked in a bit but I think I'll need another one before the year is out.  I'm going to give this one a good whirl and see where  I end up.  I'm proud to say I have been soda and french fry free so far this week so that's progress.

What else?  Oh!  Right.  My kids were up at 4:30 this morning.  Seriously?  Now, I have to be up at 4:30 anyway to go to work but usually the rest of the house is still in a peaceful slumber when I leave the house.  Not this morning.  I threw in a DVD, said "Daddy's upstairs sleeping if you need anything" and ran out the door.  We'll see how the rest of the morning went once Hubby checks in.

Thanks to's our BYOC.
Let’s get to what we came here for! BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called “What’s In/On Your….?”

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)

You would never know it by my house but my I am a neat freak at the office.  We have a lot of sensitive data around so we're not allowed to leave papers and stuff out so there is absolutely NOTHING between my monitor and keyboard.  My walls are littered with pictures of my kids and hubby.  I have a couple crafty stuff from my kids and that's about it.
2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

How I'm going to get everything done that I have to get done today.  I'm training my replacement at work and not only am I sick of hearing myself talk (never thought that could happen) and I'm sure she is too.  
3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

Alarm clock, eye mask, 2 remote controls, a stack of kids' clothes
4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

Hmmm...a new alarm clock.  I prefer to wake up to the radio but for some reason, it does the buzzer thing no matter what I have it set to.  Very annoying.  New clothes that fit.  Make up.  
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life - New commitment to my weight loss efforts...just in time for the holidays.  Who does that?

Blogland - Pretty good.  Still blogging regularly...loving reading up on how everyone else is doing.  Some people are truly struggling through the realities of life and I truly feel for them.  It's so easy to stay myopic about my weight loss when nothing much else is going on but some in Blogland have real life distractions weighing (pun intended) in that would completely derail me.  I salute them for managing through and not eating their pain.

And your Friday Funny:

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

New Month, New Goal

500 minutes of exercise this month.  That's the goal.  That's 4 days a week at 30 minutes.  This SHOULD be very doable.  It hasn't in the past but that was then and this is now and I've got to get myself back into the LOSING mentality.

When I was talking to the doc at my fill appointment, I told him, "It's like I now know how much crap I can eat and still maintain."  He said that's important to know so now I just have to decide if I want to maintain or if I want to keep losing.  It was like a light bulb went off.  Technically, I'm a statistical lapband success.  I have lost 60% of excess body weight.  But that wasn't the goal.  That wasn't NEARLY the goal when I set out to have this surgery and get healthy.  The goal was 140.  The stretch goal 130.  The "OMG! Can you believe I'm this freakin' skinny even if it only lasts 5 minutes because I OD'd on water pills to ge here" goal was 125.  162 was NOT EVER the goal.  So why have I been acting as if it was?

I can't really answer this question.  I think I got sick of thinking of losing weight.  I got sick of working at it.  My gym membership expired.  I could shop in regular sizes and stores so it was all good anyway.  It was so hot, blah, blah, blah.  It's all excuses.  Well, enough of THAT.

November Things to Do:

  • NO SODA!!!  AT ALL.  Not one drop of the sugary devil's juice shall pass my lips (Wine is OK.  LOL)
  • Only healthy snacking.  No fruit snacks (I mean...fruit snacks..not fruit AS snacks), chocolate, chips, cheetos, etc.).  Just fruit, protein, cheese...stuff that comes from actual FOOD and not chemicals.  Seriously, what IS a cheeto anyway?
  • Do my best to cook at home and not eat out.  I'm not committing to a number on this as it's just setting myself up for failure but the goal is to make wise choices even while eating out.
  • NO french fries.  Period.  
  • MOVE.  That's it.  Move my body.  30 minutes, 4 days a week.  There MUST be cooler weather coming but even if it doesn't...I need to MOVE.

You may have noticed that I did not set a weight loss goal for November.  I did for October and got NOWHERE.  And not reaching that goal did what it always did when I didn't reach a weight loss goal - made me feel like crap.  Made me feel like a loser for not doing what I set out to do...not even coming close...not even really trying.   Not finishing things was the old Panda.  Not the new and improved Panda.  Not the Panda that set out to walk the 3 Day or set out to run a 5k or any of the other things I've accomplished in the last 14 months.  I'm NOT going back to the person that WAS...ever.  So in a way, it's like starting over.  Rediscovering my determination and dedication to reaching my goals.  Or in the words of my hero Yoda...

P.S.  Special thanks to Robyn for giving me the Versatile Blogger Award.  I'll get around to passing it on here in a day or two.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

NSV & A Fill

So I got a fill yesterday.  I lost 2 lbs since the last time I was at the doc's office 2 months ago.  Not good.  It's these same 2 lbs I've been battling FOREVER.  So doc asked what happened.  I said "Hunger and bad choices."  He said, "I can take care of the hunger part."  I said, "I'll work on the choices."  So there ya go.  I got my fill.  I had turkey chili when we went out last night and no issues so we'll see if this fill does anything.

We had a good time last night.  We were invited to Hubby's friends' house to go trick or treating with their girls.  I have great pics of the whole group but couldn't get them on my computer to post today so you get stuck with the pic of my girls I took on my phone.  They're still cute.

NSV:  I didn't eat ANY, not one single solitary piece of candy yesterday.  I didn't sample what we were giving out, I didn't steal any of my daughters' stuff.  Not one piece of chocolate or candy corn or even the chocolate covered pretzels our hostess had made.  I had my turkey chili and a little rum & coke (it's all about choices people!) and that was it.  Amazing.

I'm a little late but have decided to do "Meet Me on Monday"

From Never Growing Old it's Meet Me on Monday. Where we answer 5 questions to get to know each other better. This week's questions:

1. My current weather is _______? 65 degrees.  I know you people in Northeast are going to hate me but I'm seriously sick of the warm water.  It got up to 90 yesterday.  90!  On Halloween!  It's very hard to get into the holiday spirit when it still feels like summer.
2. What is your favorite sound? My girls' belly laughs.

3. What is the worst flavor of ice cream? Anything with cherries
4. What magazine do you look for when you are stuck in the waiting room? Any kind of trashy entertainment magazine...I'm a sucker for them.

5. What is your favorite condiment? Ranch!  It's good on anything!