Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Checking In

Just checking in.  I am trying to catch up on everyone's blogs for the last 4 days so it's been time consuming.  I'll be doing a big ol' long blog post, complete with pictures, about my weekend which included a visit from my sister and the Color Run.  Both were awesome!  I have not jumped on the scale since I swore it off and it is somewhat liberating.  I'm pretty sure I may be up a pound or two (been indulging a bit).  I went off birth control last week (no, not trying for another baby - if you've been following awhile, I had a permanent birth control procedure done in December) so I think my hormones are trying to level themselves out.  I'm having hot and cold flashes and Aunt Flo promptly came to town so I'm sure that's not helping anything.  I start the 30 Day Shred tomorrow so expect regular updates on how that's going.  My plan for February is 30 Day Shreds during the week and then a hike on the weekend.  Next challenge is the Climb to Cure Cancer.  You can read about here.  But the gist is it's a hike that benefits the ACS.  So I think getting in a few hikes between now and then would be helpful.  I've also got another event in mind for April so that'll get me halfway through my 5k goals for the year.  Not too shabby.  I haven't been working on my push ups and sit ups but getting back to that tomorrow as well.  This is it for me today.  Expect a long, drawn out, wordy post tomorrow about my weekend with pictures to keep you entertained.  And just to make this blog worth your while, how about pictures of cute pandas?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Did I Start a Trend?

So Ronnie left a comment on my post yesterday that she, Andrea, Beth and maybe Fluffy will be doing the Color Run in Dallas!  I think Dawnya said she may be doing one also.  How fun!  Maybe I should find an event that some AZ Bandsters could do with me.  Hmmm...might have to ponder that one.  I do have a group doing this one with me.  My sister is attempting to run it with me (hope she's not disappointed if I end up walking most of it.  Eek!).  Hubby and 3 other friends are walking it with us.  We had others who wanted to join us but the Color Run actually sold out here in Phoenix!  That's a lot of people...hopefully it's not like overly crowded to where it's annoying.

So I'm starting the 30 Day Shred February 1st but I'm also trying to figure out ways to get more exercise in day to day.  I used to really enjoy hiking and with the Climb to Cure Cancer at the end of February, I'd like to incorporate some more of that into my weekly routine.  I'd also like Hubby to come along with me.  The Challenge?  My girls.  They're still pretty small.  My oldest is 6 and she enjoys hiking so that's not really the concern.  It's the little one.  I think she's going to get bored with it fairly quickly.  Those of you with smaller kids, how did you handle incorporating your kids into your active lifestyle?  I mean...they're past the point where I can put them on the back of my own bicycle or in a baby bjourne and just go.  I may just make them suck it up and go.  LOL.

I feel a mental shift starting.  For the last few weeks, I've been perfectly content sitting around, doing virtually nothing in regards to getting fit.  But I'm starting to get a little restless...wanting to do more...wanting to feel the way I was feeling this time last year.  Could this be motivation rearing its head?  Could this be my head finally getting screwed on tight again?  Could this be the start of getting my stuff together finally?  At the very least, I know I'm getting 3 miles in this week, come hell or high water.  So that feels good.  I know a car wash is definitely in my future tonight.  Perhaps a family walk is too?  We shall see.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday NonWeigh In

So it's my first Non Weigh In Monday.  It did feel a little weird not stepping on that scale this morning.  I almost did but resisted.  It helped that I was really tired this morning and didn't feel like getting out of bed at all, much less weighing myself.  Usually Hubby is fast asleep when my alarm goes off but for some reason, he was sort of awake this morning and cuddled up close.  This made it much more difficult getting motivated to face the day but face it I did.  Food choices over the weekend were certainly not ideal.  Portions were OK though.  I'm at least maintaining I think, albeit retaining a bit of water as the water intake over the weekend wasn't so great.  My goal for Monday-Wednesday this week is to stick to planned meals and snacking (they still may not be great but at least it's a plan) and get all my water in.  Thursday and Friday are being spent with my sister which includes dinner, drinks, and breakfast so I'm not gonna sweat it.  Saturday and Sunday will be about better choices.

And so it's Monday and I'm back at work at this job that I STILL don't get and I'm pretty sure that it's not my fault that I don't get it.  There is absolutely NO training and the position is kind of "made up" so whatever.  It is a short week however and I'm grateful for that.  I have Thursday and Friday off to spend time with my sister and niece who are in town this week.  So flippin' excited about this!  Thursday is a girls' day.  My sister and I are hitting a day spa and then got a night at a hotel sans hubbies or kiddos.  We're having a girls' night out and are going to sleep in as late as we want on Friday.  Much needed break for her, I think.  I think this trip will do my sister a world of good...let her get away from the stress of the last year.  By the way, her hubby is holding up OK.  He made it past his one year diagnosis in December and so far the MRI's have been stable.  The doctors gave him 6-12 months and he's already blown past it and is doing well.  Saturday and Sunday will probably be spent just hanging out at my mom's house and letting my girls get to know their cousin better.  My niece is turning 5 in April so she's right in between my girls (6 and 4) so I think they'll have a lot of fun together.

Saturday is my first 5k of the year.  Training has taken a hit here lately so not sure if I'll be running it or just walking it but it'll be fun either way.  I'll try to take lots of pictures to post here.  I think the next thing I do is at the end of February - Climb for's a hike at our local mountain that benefits ACS.  It's a little different and I'm not sure of the distance but given the elevation, I'm thinking it should count as a 5k.

Breakfast and lunch have been brought so no eating out for me today.  Not only is it healthier to eat frp, home but much easier on the pocketbook as well.

And your Monday DEMotivation:

Friday, January 20, 2012


Courtesy of Drazil!

1. If money and time wasn't a problem - name a place you'd go on vacation and for how long?

Italy and live there for about a year.  I'd love my girls to experience another culture and it's where my great grandparents come from.  Also, I've never been anywhere before so it would give me plenty of time to explore all of Europe without having to keep flying over the ocean.

2. This week I had a discussion with some friends about names our children or other people we know call the "nether regions". Don't hate - it's funny. So let's share them for a laugh. Any creative words for hoohaa and tallywhacker you think we haven't heard yet?

When I was a kid, I called my butt "bahonkas."  I have no idea why but otherwise we're really not that creative... "vuvu" for lady parts, "pee pee" for boy parts.  Sometimes my girls also call thier vuvu their pee pee so go figure.

3. Take a picture of your nails right now! Bossy, aren't I? I just had my nails done - I can't help it. I neeeed to show someone!

I'm shocked I did this.  I chew my nails and my fingers so they never look good unless it's for a wedding or something and then I go get french tips to make them look pretty.  The red mark on my ring finger is a burn.  I burned the top of my hand and that finger cooking the other night.  I have no idea how but I always seem to burn myself when using my oven.  

4. Tell me about the weather right now where you are!

Sunny and gorgeous...Maybe 70 degrees or so.  Gotta love AZ Winters.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and blog land.

Blogland's alright.  Lots of people having trouble posting, viewing or commenting.  Luckily, I've been spared.  Lots of people have good motivation going...seeing some new stuff on the gluten free front (Stephanie and Draz) and Dr. Poon's diet (sorry - can't remember which blogger)...we got the back to paleos, the sugar's interesting stuff.  My blog is just pathetic lately...lots of "this week I'll do this" and then I don't kind of things.  Gotta work on that.

Real life is alright.  Just got a compliment (??) from someone I work with.  I don't know this woman but I've given presentations to her group before and see her from time to time.  I ran into her in the breakroom and she said, "You've lost some weight right?"  I answered with my usual "I've been working on it." Then she sys "You can totally tell in your face."  In my face?!?!  70 lbs gone and you can tell in my face?!?! Mmmmkay... "Thanks," I said.  Then she said, "Just keep working on it!" Working on it?!?!  So I'm still fat?!?!  Thanks a lot lady!!!  Ugh.  People.

That's all I got today.  Have a fabulous weekend!

Nothing Much

Nothing much new to report here.  This week has mostly been about work.  This new position (Is it still new after 2 months?)  requires more hours but not more work which is fascinating.  Here's an interesting aspect of the corporate world.  In my old position, I felt like I worked hard and was making a difference for my company but got virtually no respect (or money) for my efforts.  In this new job, I do MUCH less work, don't feel like it really makes a difference at all and get way more respect and money for less effort.  WTF?!?!?!  This is why I'm not cut out for corporate America.  So I've had to work late 2 days this week but that's alright...with Hubby out on his own, this position couldn't have come at a better time because he can pick up the kiddos and I can bring home the bacon, so to speak.

I came home yesterday to find a big ol' bag of stuff from Victoria Secret.  Dear, sweet Hubby loaded me up with 3 new bras and a gaggle of panties.  NSV:  The panties are size MEDIUM and the bras are 38C.  They are all fairly functional (although some are obvious a man picked out. LOL) and they're all in pretty colors and designs.  I admit...under garments are one of those things I have put off buying...I guess I'm just more concerned with what everyone sees on the outside.  They don't know if my panties are baggy, ya know?  But I guess Hubby knew and now I've got all new stuff that fits and looks sexy.  How awesome is he?

We went to a salad bar yesterday - Swe.e.t T.oma.toes.  Now I know some people love this place.  I've never liked it but we had a coupon and my favorite salad bar closed down.  So we go...first, WAY overpriced for what you get.  Premium toppings (aka PROTEIN) cost extra and it's set up so that you don't feel comfortable getting more salad if you want more.  Then they have 8 different kinds of soup, a couple hot pasta dishes, fresh fruit (this was whole apples and pineapples folks...oh yeah and jello...since when is jello a fresh fruit?) and ice cream.  The soup was ick, I avoided the hot pasta dishes, jello isn't fruit and mac and cheese is not a suitable option.  So I basically had a small salad, a chocolate chip cookie, 2 bites of nasty chili and finished my youngest' ice cream cone.  So will not be going back.  What made me laugh though is that this band can work two ways.  Since I can't eat very much, I want WHAT I eat to be very yummy and satisfying.  However, in cases like last night where everything is just so-so, it's OK too because I don't have to eat that much of it to not be hungry anymore.  It's a win-win.

After dinner, I reached in my purse to find a tip for the server when I realized my lip gloss had leaked all over EVERYTHING.  Time to find a new purse.  I went to JC Penney and found one I like for $8.  Can't beat that.

No plans for the weekend.  Hubby is going to a soccer game Saturday night so it'll just be me and the girls.  Otherwise, pretty boring. I might post a BYOC later if Draz gets around to putting one out there, but for now I leave you with a Friday Funny:

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

New Approach - Again

First, thank you all for your support after my last post.  I would love to tell you all that I stayed the course but it just wouldn't be true and what's the point of having a blog if you aren't going to be honest?  I fell off the wagon and I fell hard.  And I wasn't going to post anything.  I actually debated taking a break from blogging but we all know what that would mean.  Days, weeks, months of binging and not making progress and coming back to blogging (which has helped me be successful to date) and owning up to it anyway.  Not this panda, folks.  I'm here, I'm owning up to it.  I ate chips, swiss cake rolls, soda and other stuff I know I shouldn't.  I did it on purpose because I was feeling sorry for myself.  Well, enough of that.  I wanted to address each of you who took the time to comment on my last post because y'all rock.

Lucy - "Maybe your body needs to take in more calories in order for you to drop the extra weight, I know it sounds crazy but it really might help."  I don't think that's it.  I'm aiming for right about 1200 and the workouts aren't really strenuous enough to aim much higher.  I think the problem may be not enough protein.

Leslie - Thank you for the support.  I know we all go through it and I've told people thousands of times that "the scale will catch up."  It's just so much easier to say to others than listen to yourself.

Kristin - Thank you so much for your kinds words.  I know I've come a long way and there are days I feel very proud of it and then others...not so much.  I remember LONGING for a day where I would see 160 but now the perspective has changed and I've been here long enough for it to feel "heavy."

Amanda - "There is definitely a point where if you want more weight loss, you have to do some serious calorie cutting and increase the exercise."  You're absolutely right.  To be honest, I'm not sure I'm committed enough to losing this last bit by doing that.

Lyla - "if losing more is going to take you go a point where you have to obsess and count and kill yourself working out, then maybe just maintain."  Yes, yes, yes.

I agree completely with Amanda and Lyla.  I need to really cut calories, increase exercise and obsess to lose this last bit of weight.  Am I willing to do that?  Yes...and no.  I'm willing to increase the exercise for sure but I don't feel I eat THAT much as it is and I don't want to obsess over food anymore.  I just don't.  So where does that leave me?  With my new approach...

No more tracking for this girl. I've never liked doing it.  I have done it and been successful with it in the past but I hate every second of it and I don't like obsessing like that.  So I'm done with it.  What else am I done with?

The scale.  At least for now.  Unlike Fluffy, I cannot divorce the scale entirely.  I don't see that happening.  But it's no longer a motivator because it has stopped moving.  When it doesn't move, I feel like a failure, I beat myself up and sometimes (like this week) it impedes progress.  So I've decided that I'm not weighing myself (this is a goal mind you) until March 1st.  That's a month and a half.  I may not even weigh myself then depending on how I'm feeling.

So no tracking and no scale doesn't sound like someone who's committed to losing weight or even maintaining weight, does it?  Well, that's not the ENTIRE plan people.

My goals are remaining the same.  I still want to do 5 5k's this year as well as the push ups, sit ups and pull up.  Notice I did not say "run" 5 5k's.  I'm not sure I'm feeling that but I'll definitely put forth a good effort but sometimes it might just be more fun to walk it.  And ladies and gents...this is what I'm getting at.  Life is supposed to be FUN.  We all know it isn't always fun but I think I'm done making it less enjoyable than it has to be.  I have hit a point where my weight cannot hold me back from ANYTHING I would want to do.  I can travel comfortably (this is an assumption as I haven't flown since losing the weight but I'm pretty sure I'm there), I can walk long distances without wanting to die, I can run short distances and only feel like I'm going to pass out as opposed to dying.  So the weight isn't holding me back anymore.  I should be enjoying that feeling instead of wishing it was more.  This leads into my whole being "content" with things this year.  So goals - still there.

I'm going to focus on the VOLUME of what I'm eating again, listening to soft stop signals and eating off small plates again.  Not worrying about serving size by calories, etc.  I'm going to aim for a cup, serve myself a cup and evaluate how I feel after a cup.  Enough with how much I CAN eat...focusing on how much I NEED to eat.

Also, working on getting rid of processed food again.  Going back to paleo but just because it feels better eating natural food.  This is not low carb or anything like that.  Just eating like people should eat.  I feel better when I eat this way.

Exercise - For the rest of January, I'm working on running and strengthening.  I'm working on walking with my girls, teaching my oldest to ride her bike, and getting out there and enjoying the awesome Arizona winter weather.  February - I'm starting the Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred program I won from Fluffy.  At one point in time, exercise wasn't about losing weight, it was about challenging myself to push myself further than I thought I could and enjoy using my body and MOVING.  That was the mentality for the 3 Day and my first 5k last year.  I need to get back to that mindset.

So we're simplifying folks.  I'm focusing on volume and quality of food.
I'm focusing on being ACTIVE, not just exercising.
I want to feel better and content.  It's about quality of life - nothing more, nothing less.  Wherever my body decides to settle is up to it and I'm tired of fighting with it.  I want to be able to do whatever I want to do without feeling held back or embarrassed so I'm not done molding this body into what I want it to become until I feel comfy in public in a bathing suit or can climb to the top of the highest mountain I choose to climb.

That being said, today is a new day and binging on crap that my body doesn't need is NOT in the equation.

Monday, January 16, 2012


So I broke every rule I set out for myself this weekend.  The food choices were not good at all but the portions were very small.  I really paid attention to HOW MUCH I was eating.  So small victories.  My body felt like it needed a break from working out a bit so I took a 2 mile walk on Saturday instead of a run.  And my weigh in for this week...

160.  That's right.  The exact same flippin' weight it's been FOREVER.  No change at all.  While my choices over the weekend certainly weren't stellar, there's no freakin' way it counteracted EVERYTHING I had done through out the week.

Last week I tracked, I worked out everyday.  If I had a treat, it was planned and accounted for.  If I did go over my target calories, I still stayed under what I would need in order to maintain.  I should have lost SOMETHING.  Mathematically, it just doesn't add up.  I'm so frustrated.  Maybe this is just where my body wants to be.  Maybe I'm just meant to be a little...stout...for lack of a better word.  There's no one in my family (outside of my mom who is an anomaly) that isn't a little overweight.  I have lost 70 lbs.  That's 70% of my excess body weight.  It's a statistical average for lapband.  Maybe this is as good as it's going to get.

One thing I know is that I won't live my life the way I lived it last week.  Obsessing over every morsel, tracking it, accounting for it.  I was not happy last week but I kept at it because I felt it was what needed to be done to see a loss.  I thought I was making progress...tracking everything led me to believe I would see a loss on the scale this week because I felt I EARNED it.  I saw it black and white...calories in/calories out - good protein numbers, good carb numbers, good workout numbers.  And I was let down....SERIOUSLY let down.  There's a change coming folks...a change in how I approach this weight loss stuff and I'm not sure if it'll make for good blog reading.  I've got some ideas batting around in my head but I'll wait until I achieve a cooler head before deciding on anything and jotting them down.

I'm at work today.  For those in the States, it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Yes, this is an observed holiday where I work but I'm working anyway so I can have a day off later when my sister is in town.  I don't really care that I'm practically the only one here just makes for a very long, quiet, boring day.  I promise a more upbeat post tomorrow but that just ain't going to happen this morning.  So since I'm here, you're fortunate enough to get a Monday DEMotivator:

Friday, January 13, 2012

NSV and Tracking Issue

So yesterday, I got home and had a little inner dialogue with myself which I will share with you now.

Inner Demon: "Self, you know you don't want to run today.  You've exercised every single day since last Wednesday.  You can take a day off."
Me: "Hmmm...maybe you're right.  I'm really not feeling it today."
Inner Demon:  "Maybe just a short one?"
Me: "Alright...just a short one."

Do you see the NSV?  Even my inner demon isn't quite as evil as before! He's at least willing to negotiate.  Last month, the inner demon was sabotaging me at every turn ("Sure, there are no calories in Christmas cookies!" or "Exercise?  And miss The Grinch on TV?  Are you crazy?!?!")  While I really wasn't feeling doing a run, I did a "quick" 2 mile jaunt in 26:33.  Not too shabby, especially since the alternative was doing nothing.  How'd the rest of the day go?

No Soda:  Check
No Fast Food:  No check.  We had Subway for dinner (it's better than a burger and fries)
Calories:  Check.  Still below allotted range even with the Subway and a cookie for dessert.

So what's my tracking issue?  I've said before how I think I sometimes overestimate my caloric intake because homemade stuff is difficult to get the nutritional value on but I discovered another problem yesterday. Before I left work, I tracked out my subway dinner to see what I could get and still be under my calories for the day.  Nothing like planning ahead.  So I figured I could have a sandwich, a few chips (not a whole serving) and a cookie and be alright.  Well, I ended up taking the top half of the bread off immediately.  I ate the first half the sandwich and then got stuck.  The next 3 bites came back up.  Then another 2 bites later in the meal.  I ended up not even touching the last quarter of the sandwich at all.  I had a few chips (stuck to that) and a cookie.  How do you track 3/4 of a 6 inch sub with no top bun and 5 bites that came back up?  I have no idea.  So I didn't try.  I stuck to my calories as if I had eaten the whole thing.  Also, as a side note, I didn't feel any guilt at all about the cookie because it was planned and within my calorie restrictions for the day.

We'll see how this weekend goes.  I have a birthday party Saturday night where I'm sure there will be lots of finger food.  I'll try to avoid it, maybe have dinner before I go.  Otherwise, it looks to be a pretty boring weekend.  Maybe I'll be able to catch up on a bit of sleep.  Hope y'all had a great week and exciting weekend ahead of you.  Now, for a Friday Funny...

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Is It Friday Yet?

I'm afraid not, my little gingersnaps.  Alas, it is only Thursday so yet another day dawns on the corporate world in which I survive.  Blech.

So checking in yesterday.
No Soda - Check
No Fast Food - Check
Vitamin - Seriously?
Calories - No check.  A big fat fail on this one.  I went about 500 calories over when all was said and done and no, these were not healthy protein filled calories.

It's the eating out.  I went out to lunch with a friend.  I know what the good choices are and I know what I SHOULD order but something yummy and tempting always wins out instead.  It so wasn't worth the calories.  This is purely a willpower thing.  I'll work on this.  Today should be OK...I've got my breakfast and lunch packed.  Dinner isn't planned yet but regardless of what I end up doing, I'm going to make my choice a healthy one, goshdarnit!

I did get my strengthening exercises in yesterday.
Kettlebells - Check
Push Ups - 27 (Girl push ups - +4 from last effort)
Sit Ups - 15  (+4 from last effort)

I'm also able to do more in each set.  I'm steadily making progress each day.  Hubby is picking up the pull up bar tonight but it will be a loooooooooong time before we see any progress on that.  Hubby went for a 1.5 mile walk with a friend of his last night.  I'm glad to see him jumping on the activity wagon.  He's also slowly getting filled back up (he had a complete unfill in early December).  I hope this band starts working for him soon.

Countdown to Color Run - 16 days.  I'm thinking I won't be able to run the entire thing but my goal is to finish under 40 minutes.  That will be an improvement on my last 5k time.  A good number of Hubby's friends are joining in the fun too.  They want to grab drinks or something afterwards.  I think that would be great but not sure if I'm going to ask my mom to watch the girls so we can do that.  My sister is in town that weekend and doing the run with us and I'm not sure if she'd want to hang out.  We'll see.

In the meantime, I'll just be hanging in there until Friday....   *sigh*

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Mayans Were Right

It's the end of the world as we know it!

Hump Day Hijinx

OK - There's really not much hijinx going on but it sounded good.

2.3 miles in 32:12. (-1 minute from previous effort).  I'm definitely improving slowly but surely.  Not as sore after it today either so it's all good.  Also, if anyone is mathematically challenged like myself and need a distance, pace or time calculator for their walks/jogs/runs, this one is easy -

No Soda - Check
No Fast Food - Check
Vitamin - Egad!  I don't know why I keep putting this one up here.
Calories - Close but no cigar.  I went 53 calories over the goal yesterday.  I do tend to overestimate on my tracker so I may still be OK here so no biggie.

I was tagged again.  No way can I come up with another 11 random things so I'll just answer their questions.  First...
My Questions from Sarah
What (if anything) are you allergic to? Amoxicillin and Penicillin
What colour is your bathroom?  White
What is your favourite book?  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
What are your favourite flowers?  Red Roses
What attraction near to you, have you never seen? Rocky Mountains
Which classic film have you never seen? Ben Hur and I don't think I care to...
How many photos do you have in your lounge/sitting room? Who/What are they of? No photos but 2 paintings - Eiffel Tower and a Van Gogh cafe thing
Do you garden? Nope
Who is your favourite comedian? Daniel Tosh is HILARIOUS
Handbags or shoes? Neither but really not handbags
What is your most expensive piece of clothing?  I don't have any expensive clothing.  Sad but true.

And my questions from Grace:
1. What is the thing you miss most about not being banded (not being health-conscious if you aren't banded)?  Not being able to take that first REALLY big bite of something like a burger or pizza
2. What is your favorite thing about having a band (or being health-conscious if you aren't banded) besides the weight loss?  Liking how I look in clothes
3. What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?  TMZ
4. Do you drink protein shakes or eat protein bars regularly? Why/why not?  No.  I hate the taste of protein shakes and I'd rather just have regular food than a bar.
5. What is your favorite exercise method/move?  I don't do Zumba anymore but I loved it.
6. What is your least favorite exercise method/move? Treadmill...UGH
7. If you could have dinner with 1 person, dead or alive, who would you choose & why?  Hmmm...I have no idea.  I struggle with this because as I've grown older, I'm not that intrigued by historical figures anymore.  It seems no one is as interesting in real life as you've built them up in your mind. The fatty in me would say some fantastic famous chef who could cook me something fabulous. LOL
8. What was your least favorite job experience?  I was a seating hostess at Perkins.  The wait staff hated me and the manager was a dick.  It sucked.
9. What was your favorite food before getting on the weight-loss bandwagon? Pasta
10. What is your favorite food now that you're on the bandwagon?  It's still pasta - I don't ban foods from my diet...I just have less of it less often  :)
11. What is your favorite place on earth & why?  Home.  My best friend (Hubby) is there and my kiddos and when they aren't there, it's nice and quiet and I can just be me and stay in jammies all day if I want.

So more interesting facts about yours truly.  Overall, life is good.  Not so sure about this new job...may not be a great fit for me but I'll need to stay in this role at least a year so I'm not sweatin' it.  TOM came yesterday so I'm attributing my nonweight loss on Monday to that.  It may have nothing to do with it but I need something.  I'm having lunch with a friend today and then a birthday party on Saturday.  I'm hoping I can keep my choices reasonable.  Even if I don't, I'll be logging.

How about a Hump Day Happy Thought to round things off?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Second Post Today

I warned you...

First, I did do my kettlebell and other workout yesterday.  Kettlebells are freakin' hard.  I used an 18 lb one.  Holy crap.  I have this 6 minute workout thing we did and then a little 1 minute exercise with them at the end.  So 7 minutes with the kettlebells.  Doesn't sound like much but was hard.  I hope to build up with them.

Push Ups: 23 (Girl push ups - +7 from last effort)
Sit Ups: 11 (+4) from last effort.

Good progress on this front.

So Hubby is working on editing videos we took when the girls were smaller to clear up space on the camera.  Side note:  We have all these videos of when Maddie was little and Lori was REAL little but no recent ones.  I don't know what it is about the second child but they really get the shaft when it comes to the memory makers, huh?   So anyway, we were watching some of them over the weekend and I was just blown away by how fat I was.  It was really shocking to me.  I knew I was big.  I mean I felt big when the videos were taken but I know I didn't feel THAT big.  I've seen before pics (and have posted them here) but I guess there's just something about moving fat that just makes it seem even worse.  What's even sadder is that I didn't even want to watch the videos because I hated seeing myself in them.  Precious memories of my girls that I don't even really want to watch because of my own issues.

I don't want to let my husband record anything else because I'm afraid that when I look at it, I'm going to be just as disappointed with how I look now.  I feel like I've made such great progress and I don't even mind seeing myself in pictures anymore but I just don't know about this.  I'll get over it and I know we'll take more videos but it was a real eye opener as to how bad it really got a few years ago.  I know we'll be taking video this summer of the girls in the pool and I really don't want to be hiding from the camera this time.  If anything, it got me remotivated.

And motivated I am...let's check in on some of the other things.
No soda:  Check
No fast food:  Check
Vitamin: Ummmmm....
Calories:  I would've gone over yesterday if not for the exercise, so still need to work on this one.

I'm doing my run today after I pick up the girls from school.  One nice thing about having hubby home right now is getting some help in the afternoons so I can go work out and not have to try to get motivated to do it at 8:00 at night.

Hope y'all are having a good Tuesday...the week is officially in full swing.  Here's hoping it's a good one!


It will probably be a 2 post Tuesday as I have tag and a couple other things I want to touch on.  We'll get tag out of the way first.  I find it hilarious that most of us probably hated playing the real tag in school but I digress.

The Rules

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ Blah blah blah, you legitimately have to tag 11 peeps!

11 random things (it's really difficult to come up with stuff y'all don't know after 3 years of blogging):
  1. I refuse to make more than 1 dinner a night.  If my kids don't like what we're having, they don't have to eat.
  2. I sing my kids 3 songs before bed every night (they each get their own and then 1 together)
  3. I am NOT a good singer.
  4. We bought my daughter a Nintendo 3DS for Christmas.  It's the first game system I've owned in over 10 years.
  5. I love having pockets but wouldn't buy pants that had them (except for jeans) for YEARS because I thought they made me look fatter.
  6. I don't have a degree but most of my colleagues and my husband's friends think I do.  I don't correct them.
  7. My grandfather was full blooded Italian (from Italy) and my grandmother was full blooded Germany (from Germany) yet I can speak no Italian nor German.  Sad.
  8. I dream of moving my family overseas so that my kids can learn a different culture and maybe pick up an accent.  Kids with English or Australian accents are just so darn cute!
  9. I grew up in South Carolina and had a serious accent.  I moved when I was 14 and just wanted to fit in so worked really hard to get rid of it.  Now I kinda miss it.
  10. Big Bang Theory is my favorite TV show.  We have like a million episodes on DVR that we play whenever nothing's on.  My kids love Sheldon so when they knock on doors now they knock three times and say your name, over and over and over and over. LOL.
  11. Hubby and I are getting new computers (laptop & desktop) and I think we're converting to Mac's.  I'm excited! 

MY Questions from JennxAZ:
1.  Paperback, nook, kindle or other?  Paperback or hardback.  I still like feeling a book in my hands.
2.  Favorite place to vacation? The the sound and smells of the ocean.
3.  Mommy or daddy's girl? Mommy - for sure
4.  Tomboy or girlie girl? A cross between the two - crude sense of humor meets someone who LOVES make up!
5.  Did you play sports in school?  explain  - Yeppers.  Softball.  I was good.  Wish I wouldn't have quit.
6.  PC or MAC?  PC but looking to convert.
7.  Favorite band or singer of all time? Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, George Strait (See a pattern here?)
8.  Favorite movie of all time? Gone with the Wind - what can I say?
9.  When you go to Vegas...slots or tables? Tables - blackjack and much fun but I usually wind up playing some video poker too.
10.  Beer or wine or none? Depends on the mood...Fried food and spicy stuff goes best with beer but a party, hors d'voures or finger foods = wine.
11.  Favorite reason to blog? Not only do I find great support here but when I'm having a bad day, it just feels great to let it all out on paper..umm..the web I mean.

Questions from Jessica:
What is your most played song on your iPod? (or if you don't have an iPod, that one song you listen to over and over and over) I honestly don't have one.  I just don't listen to music that often other than in my car
What's your least favorite thing about yourself? My negativity - I wish I were a more positive and upbeat person.
What is your favorite smell? Cinnamon
Do you dream or have nightmares? Nightmares - bad ones - and I act them out.
What is your "go to" healthy snack?  string cheese or fruit
Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning person but not by choice
Do you lock your doors? The front door - yes.  Back door - Nope.
In which store would you max out your credit cards? Target or a home store
What is the best/worst job you've ever had?  Best - My current one (sad), Worst - I was a seating hostess at Perkins - it sucked.
What is the one TV program you can't live without? I don't really have one.  I love Big Bang but I lived without cable for so long that TV really isn't a big thing for me.
Can you function without coffee? Yes but I would undoubtedly wind up on the news

I know the rules say no cop outs on tagging people but I've been reading through blogs and think most of the people I would tag have already been so I won't be tagging anyone but I've loved getting to know everyone better!

Stay tuned for Post #2 (it's far less interesting...about kettlebells, old videos, self image and how many push ups I can do.  Exciting stuff...really.)

Monday, January 9, 2012

Weekend Wrap Up 1.9.12

Weigh In: 160 lbs.  Ugh. Ugh. Ugh!  I've been at this weight, one pound above my lowest for what seems like forever and I was kind of OK with it because I knew I wasn't doing what I needed to do to get it done.  But I was good this week. I was back on track.  I was eating better, tracking EVERYTHING, started working out again.  And my reward for this effort?  Zero, nada, zilch.  Now, I admit I had a fleeting "Eff it" thought enter my head this morning.  I mean, I was hovering here when I was eating whatever I wanted, indulging in sweets and alcohol for an entire month.  Why bother working harder when I don't have to and it's not going to make a difference anyway?  But I got past it.  I got ready for work, packed my breakfast and lunch, made my homemade coffee to take to work and left the house.  I'm sticking to my food and exercise plan.  I know the scale does not always reflect the effort and that's OK because eventually it will.  I admit though, it's made me a little grumpy this morning... so instead of focusing on that, I'm going to go into my exercise stuff from the weekend.

2.3 miles in 33:26.  Not terrible.  I ended this run at my mom's house and got in her hot tub.  It really helped with soreness the next day.
1 mile walk back to my house in 17 minutes.  It was meant to be a cool down.

16 push ups (girl push ups - +4 since last effort)
7 sit ups (+- 0 since last effort)
A little explanation here.  This isn't the total I do in my workout, just the highest number I do in a row in my workouts.  I alternate between push ups and sit ups until I can't do anymore.  Small improvement here as the last time I couldn't even do 1 sit ups after finishing the 7 but this time I was able to do 3 more after the break so it's something.

2.6 miles in 34:03 (-2 minutes from the last effort)

So we're moving right along in the fitness goals arena.  I've decided to incorporate a kettle bells routine to my off-running days.  Knowing that my girls love to play with them and I don't need to be worrying about them dropping them on themselves, we went out this weekend and bought their own.  My oldest is crazy.  She's 6 but super strong, so she got a 10 lb one and my youngest got a 7 lbs one.  I figure it's never too young to start building some muscle as long as they don't hurt themselves.  Hubby keeps an eye on them to make sure they aren't doing anything crazy with them.

Doing my push ups and sit ups tonight, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday and my runs on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.  I'm feeling pretty motivated by the exercise as it feels to good to get out there and be active.  No chance of hitting my 5 lb goals this month at the rate I'm going so that's incredibly disappointing but I'll survive and keep the ticker up there until the end of January.  Might as well see if I make SOME progress.  OK...that was a little negative...banishing those thoughts from my head for now.

And for your Monday DEMotivation:

Friday, January 6, 2012

Rest Day Yesterday

So I've decided I'm going to run every other day to give my legs a rest between days as I was REALLY sore yesterday and I don't want to risk injury.  So instead of doing my run, I got started on my push up/sit up goal.  It was PITIFUL.  I knew the sit ups were going to be bad as I have virtually no core strength but I was pretty shocked at how bad it was.  I'm posting it here because that's what I do but it is a bit embarrassing where my fitness level is at with these.

Push Ups: 12 (girl push ups - I'm working up to regular ones...gotta start somewhere)
Sit Ups: 7

Yep. You read that right.  Pretty pitiful huh?  But I've got all year and if I do this every other day all year long then I'll probably be alright.  Maybe.  As for my pull up goal, I don't own a pull up bar so I haven't started on this one yet.  Hubby's friend has one that goes on a door jam or something and he's going to give that to us so I've got one on the way.

Other goals:
No soda:  Check
No fast food: Check
Vitamin:  Doh!
Calories:  Check

So yesterday I talked about how NOT to educate people about childhood obesity.  Today I'm going to talk about a really good idea.  My oldest daughter is in first grade.  One day she came home raving about a snack bar in her cafeteria that is free for kids.  Now we pack my daughter's lunch every day to ensure that she's not just eating crap and to save on money so I was concerned about this snack bar.  I'm also STILL not sure that it's actually free...I'm waiting to get a bill at the end of the year but it's alright but this "snack bar" is actually a SALAD BAR.  That's right folks...salad, as in lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, peppers, etc.  My daughter has been visiting this thing almost every day getting a few raw veggies to supplement what we're packing for her.  She loves it!  So how great of an idea is this?  For an elementary school to offer something like this for free to kids.  My daughter says a lot of kids in her class take advantage of it and I think it's awesome that they have it.

So running today, come hell or high water.  On the menu for dinner tonight is chicken meatballs with tsaziki sauce and hummus with cucumbers.  Very excited.  I'm hoping to stay active over the weekend, maybe a couple of family walks are in our future.  Hope you all have a fabulous weekend and I leave you with a Friday Funny:

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Obesity in the News

It's been a long time since we've done a "News That Ticks Panda Off" segment.  Have you missed it?  Well, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut about this one...  The link to the story is here.  Basically health officials in GA have started an ad campaign targeting childhood obesity.  Great.  This is a problem and it needs to be addressed.  So they've come up with ads that feature pictures of overweight kids with tag lines like:

"Stop sugar-coating it, Georgia." 

“Being fat takes the fun out of being a kid.”

"It's hard to be a little girl...when you're not."

Mmmmmkay.  Here's my issue.  Childhood obesity is NOT the child's fault.  I's NOT the child's fault.  I understand that 9 times out of 10, obesity is not a genetic disorder, a biological problem, a metabolic issue... it's because we eat too much and we don't move enough.  PERIOD.  However, kids can't control this!  Kids don't know how to eat healthy unless someone tells them and being a kid, telling them isn't enough.  You have to SHOW them.  If they see their parents eating healthy, they'll think that's the norm.  Period.  Done.

Do these ads raise awareness for parents that this is a problem?  Maybe...maybe not.  Part of the reason GA decided to do this was because "75 percent of parents (surveyed) with overweight or obese kids did not see their children as having a weight issue."  So are these same parents going to recognize their children in these ads?  Or are they going to remain in denial and say "That kid is way fatter than my kid."  So not only is the campaign effectiveness iffy at best, but it's mean to these kids.

The ads are right.  It's hard to be a fat kid.  I was chubby (NOT fat...I THOUGHT I was fat but I really wasn't) and getting teased about it sucked.  It affected my self esteem, my confidence, my social awkwardness and that has continued throughout adulthood.  Do we really need to create any more stigma for fat kids than they already deal with?  Do we really need posters telling these kids that they're not as good as everyone else, that they're "wrong" or that their weight defines them.  Kids are already cruel about weight.  Even if the child isn't overweight but their parents are, they get teased about THAT.  Fat mama jokes are the NORM on playgrounds.  Do we really need anything else that is going to make these children feel worse about themselves than they already do?  

These ads are an attempt to educate but, in my opinion, they're just another form of bullying.


2.6 Mile "Run"

Check.  I always put "run" in quotes because at my pace, it's not really running...hardly jogging really.  Anyway...last night, after dinner, I put on my work out clothes and headed out the door.  I did 2.6 miles in 36 minutes.  Not too shabby for my first time out in FOREVER.  After my run, my legs still felt OK but seriously need to work on the cardio aspect of it.  I could barely breathe.  Today, my legs hurt.  So, a couple lessons learned.  #1:  Run BEFORE I eat.  I seriously thought I was going to puke.  #2: Suck it up and bring the runners pack.  Holding on to the water bottle sucked.  I admit I felt a bit like a cliche.  Here it is, January 4th and I'm running.  I passed (and got passed) by all kinds of people who are still grasping to New Year's resolutions.  How many times have we done this in January?  I tried to remind myself that it's different this time because I'm not doing it because it's the new year.  I'm doing it because I just had a month long vacay from fitness and health.  If May was preceded by a month of cookies, cakes, pies, parties, booze and culinary delights, May 1st would be my "back on the wagon" day, right?  Right.  So I got over that feeling and just felt proud that I got out there and did it.

More check ins:
No soda:  Check
Vitamin: No check (think I need to buy more)
No Fast Food: Check
Calorie Deficit:  Check

And how can I be sure I had a calorie deficit yesterday, you ask?  Because yesterday I signed up for myfitnesspal.  *sigh*  I am not a tracker.  We've been through my little tirade about hating having to track food before.  However, when I'm struggling, it's an excellent way for me to get focused.  I did it in December 2010 and actually lost weight that holiday season (probably should've reverted back last month but I digress...).  So I'm tracking.  I probably took in a little less yesterday than it logged but when it comes to tracking homemade stuff, serving sizes and nutritional value is harder to figure out.  So I overestimate on stuff just to be safe.  Yesterday looked good.  I would've gone over my allotment if not for the exercise but that's what exercise is all about right?  Right.

So overall, feeling good so far this year.  Feeling more focused and ready.  I came up with a team name for my Color Run (I still need one more person to make a team so if any of you are in the Phoenix area and want to join me, just ping me).  I picked "Roy G Biv for President."  It's a goofy name, I know...what can I say?  I'm kind of a dork.  ROYGBIV is the acronym kids use to remember the colors of the rainbow so I thought this was cute for a Color Run where you get doused with paint every 1k.

Oh! Oh! Oh!  I almost forgot.  So the fabulous Fluffy had a giveaway where you could win Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD.  I won!!!  It came in the mail yesterday.  I've decided that February will be my Jillian Michaels month (I know February only has 29 days but I think it's OK) as I need to focus on my 5k training for January.  I, of course, will track my workouts here.  Special thanks to Fluffy for the're the best!!!  By the way, if any of you are NOT following Fluffy, what's the matter with you??  She's such an inspiration, especially on the fitness front!

So I snapped a quick picture of myself in one of my new outfits this morning.  It's really the same outfit I've had in like 5 variations since I was 18 but it's a good business casual look for work.  Shopping is kind of boring in transitional sizes because it's always stuff for work and it's always like a pair of black pants, brown pants, gray pants, etc.  But anyway, some of you asked to see some of the other stuff I bought so...ask and ye shall receive:
If I don't look thrilled, please keep in mind that it's 4:45 a.m...also, I know the top is a bit see through, I AM wearing a cami underneath so I don't get fired.  LOL that's it for today, I think.  Tomorrow is Friday, thank goodness.  I DO plan on running/walking again tonight.  With these legs, I expect a slightly slower time as they're sore but that's alright.  The point is just get out there and do it.  Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

So How's It Goin'?

Eh.  Not a great start to the New Year with all my blabbering about motivation.

Foodwise...pretty good actually.  I have cut out the soda and ice cream (oh yes...I was on an ice cream roll over the holidays) since Monday.  Carbs aren't too bad.  Protein is still a little low.  Calories - well, we'll just say it's an improvement but not optimal yet.

Exercise - nonexistent.  This one's honestly not my fault though.  So Sunday, we went out to lunch.  I ate.  I ate too much too fast.  I got that old reliable pain in my left shoulder.  I haven't felt that pain in quite some time and I thought to myself "Guess that fill kicked in."  By Sunday night, I couldn't MOVE.  This pain started at my neck, through my shoulder blade and down my left side.  It hurt to turn.  It hurt to move.  It hurt to LAY DOWN.  I even called in to work on Monday because I slept like crap on Sunday and still hurt Monday morning.  Side note: I told my boss I pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle or something in my neck.  This new boss doesn't know about the band and she's kind of a judgey person...doesn't mean to be.  I think she does it with good intentions but she's a health freak (and I don't agree with her on all of it anyway) and teaches spinning and kick boxing and stuff.  But anyway...what am I going to do?  "Hey boss!  I can't come in today.  I hurt my shoulder while I was eating."???  Ummm...I don't think so.  Anyway, I digress...  Anyway, I'm FINALLY feeling normal this morning.  Still a little tender but I'm starting my 5k training today come hell or high water.  I've noticed a lot of people starting up the C25K program right now.  That's great!  But no, that's not my program.  I couldn't stick with it.  I do my own thing.  I've already run a 5k ('s fun to say that) so I don't feel like I'm starting from scratch.  I'm sure about a mile into my run tonight, I'll be singing a different tune but we've all got to start somewhere.

And starting I am.  I'm revisiting some of my early changes I was going to focus on...back when I was first banded.  I've lost sight of them.  Not anymore.  No more soda or fast food for me.  I've started taking the stairs back at work and I'm getting back to my daily vitamin.  This is basic stuff but after reading Nora's post here about starting from scratch, I feel that's how I have to approach this year.  I need to lose 3 lbs a month to reach my goal by the end of 2012.  I can do this if I just get my butt in gear.  And so I will...starting right now.  I brought my lunch today and plan on getting all my water in and a run.  Sounds like a plan to me.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year - New Goals - New Word

So as always...a year in review...I set 7 goals for 2011.  They are as follows with updates:

  1. Run a 5k
  2. Run a 10k - After running a 5k, I decided I don't like running THAT much so I just didn't pursue this one.  So sue me.  Same with #3.
  3. Train for the PF Chang's Half marathon to be completed in January 2012 (this is my new big challenge - more to come) - Ahem, see #2
  4. Make a weekly budget (sound familiar?)
  5. Stick to said budget (since now I know where I went wrong) - Well now...this one is kind of tough.  I did MUCH better but also spent MORE.  But I spent more on things I needed to...clothes for my girls, clothes for me, etc.  All the bills got paid on time and I even have like $30 in savings so I'm calling this one a win.
  6. Try my hardest to be a better wife, mother, sister and daughter...remembering how precious this time with my family is.  Even if they don't make the effort, it doesn't give me an excuse not to.  FAIL - lost sight of this one with day to day life.
  7. Try to stick to the 80/20 rule.  (My hubby and I are both trying to eliminate processed and unnatural foods from our diets.  I think if I can do this 80% of the time, I'll be in really good shape.  More to come on this also) - I feel pretty good about this one - probably more like 60/40 but it's definitely an improvement.  We embraced primal eating but look to do so even more in the coming year.
Not great, I know.  But a couple of these were deliberate choices not to pursue, not that I didn't think I could do it so I'm alright with most of it.  I think I'm going to post 2012's goals as a permanent fixture on my blog so that they stay fresh in my mind and I don't forget what I'm supposed to be doing.  From a weight loss perspective - I was 199 on 1/1/11.  I'm 160.  That's 39 lbs gone this year.  Not too it record breaking weight loss?  No but I'm on the downward trend and that's the important thing.  

So what are my goals for 2012?  Here we go...
  1. Run 5 5k's.
  2. Get my girls involved in one activity each and have the money to pay for it.
  3. Stealing one from 2011 - Try my hardest to be a better wife, mother, sister and daughter...remembering how precious this time with my family is. Yell less, laugh more.
  4. Be able to do 100 push ups in a row.
  5. Be able to do 100 sit ups in a row.
  6. Be able to do a pull up.  (I've never been able to do even one).
  7. Find a hobby...any hobby...even if finding a hobby IS my hobby this year.
  8. Warrior Dash.
  9. Say something nice to myself every day, whether I believe it or not.
  10. Hit GOAL - 35 lbs to go. 
So a popular idea around Blogland the last couple years has been assigning (if you will) a word to describe what that year is going to be like for you.  Forgive me for not remembering who came up with these but among them have been "believe", "moderate" and "choice".  I have not participated in past years...not for any real reason, just didn't.  But this year I am.  My word will be...
Adjective:  In a state of peaceful happiness
Verb: Satisfy
Synonyms: contented, pleased, satisfied, glad, happy, satisfy, gratify, indulge, suffice why "content?"  A la Ronnie, I believe that happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, along with sadness.  One does not linger long in either.  What do I long to be?  Content...that's it.  Not one extreme or the other.  Just content with who I am, where I am and what I'm doing at that moment.  I want to be content with my job...I don't have to love it...just have to not dread it.  I want to be content with my weight...not complacent, not giving up on goals but not negative about where I may land.  I want to be content with my a whole...I'm a wife, mother, sister, and friend and that should be good enough.  So what if I can't afford to go to Paris or buy my kids a bunch of new stuff all the time?  I should be content with the blessings I do have...I have my health (yay!), my hubby, my kids and my family who are great...most of the time.  

So there you have it friends.  If I can do half of what I set out to do, I think 2012 is going to shape up to be a pretty good year.  Honestly, 2011 sucked on all fronts other than weight loss.  On a personal note, it was really quite miserable.  I'm thinking 2012 has GOT to be better!  

Happy New Year everybody!  I hope 2012 is the best for you as well!