Thursday, July 28, 2011

I Think I'm Me Again

TGIT!  Thursdays for this week and next are my Fridays so I couldn't be happier to see Thursday get here.  Work has been annoying so I'm glad for these long weekends this summer.  Food choices were all good yesterday so I feel really good about that.  I also got all my water in with no extra snacking.  That's all good stuff.  I was reading through some of my old posts when I was still waiting to be banded and I found one where I talk about how I feel when I look in the mirror.  I've pasted it below.

There have been posts by just about everyone regarding how they see themselves when they look in the mirror.  Some say they just don't see the new skinny girl, they still see the old fat one.  Others, like Amykins, admits she had reverse body dysmorphic disorder in that she never saw herself as big as she was.  I don't have this problem.  Overall, I think I have a fairly realistic view of my body itself.  It's fat... I know this... I try not to swim in my clothes to hide it.  I know I'm not the biggest girl out there but I also know I'm not "fit."  What I never hear about is your face.  When I look in the mirror, the face I see just doesn't seem right.  There are no wrinkles (yet) so it's not an aging thing.  It just doesn't look like ME.  Does that make sense?  I'm not sure if it's because it's so puffy but when I really look at it, I don't recognize it.  I just can't figure it out.  I've never been particularly "thin" so I'm not sure if losing weight is going to make a difference.  I realize this doesn't make much sense but it's something that dawned on me over the weekend when I was washing my face.  I took a long look at myself in the mirror and thought "Really?  This is it?"  I guess I just didn't think that this is what I would look like when I grew up.  Ever happen to you

This post must've been on my mind this morning because when I was putting on my make up, I realized as I looked in the mirror....  I'M BACK!  The face staring back at me looked like my own.  It wasn't puffy or seemingly huge.  Still no wrinkles but the double chin is all but gone!  I can smile and my cheeks don't force my eyes practically shut (I'm always going to have a little bit of the chipmunk smile thing going on because I always have...runs in the family).  I looked in the mirror and saw the person I have been waiting to come back.  I wasn't sure if losing weight would do this because I wasn't sure if it was an aging thing or a weight thing.  I have my answer.  It was a weight thing because I look at my face now and it just FEELS right again.  I feel like I'm  looking at ME and not some stranger.  It could be due to the weight loss, it could be due to how much happier I am these days with me and my body and my soul all starting to finally get into harmony again.  Maybe all that's reflecting back at me but I can tell you this.  I missed her.  I'm so glad she's found her way back to me.  I just can't think of a better NSV than feeling like you're finally becoming the person you're supposed to be...inside and out.  Now...if we could do something about this stomach apron thing I have going on....

In other news, we're gearing up for school to start on August 8th.  My oldest is going into 1st grade!  Holy cow!  I mean...a grade with a number in front of it...that's like BIG KID stuff!  We need to do some supply hunting, meet the teacher is August 4th and we're starting to get both girls used to the idea of going to school again.  My youngest is in her last year (hopefully) of preschool this year.  They've both had the summer off and have been hanging out with my mom so it'll be readjustment for everyone.  For my youngest, I'm hoping she'll be "kindergarten ready" by next year.  They usually offer early kindergarten in our school district for kids who turn 5 between September and December.  They do an evaluation to see if they're ready.  I'm really hoping she'll be ready.  We have a lot of work to do this year to get her there.  But excitement's in the air and I'm feeling it too.  I'm ready to go back to my old schedule and get back in a gym groove.  

Since I won't be posting again until Monday, hope you all have a fabulous weekend and, of course, I leave you with a Thursday Tickle:

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Another Day, Another Dollar

And so it's Wednesday, which I'm grateful for.  One day closer to the weekend.  We have two children's birthday parties this weekend.  I'm generally not a big fan of them but one is for the daughter of a very old friend of mine so there's nothing uncomfortable about it and the other is the child's first birthday party so it's really just a reason for the adults to get together.  Again, people we hang out with quite a bit so not a lot of pressure.  And my girls will love both of them so I guess this is just another step in my "coming out of my shell" progress.

Yesterday's eating was good.  Aside from eating a whole bag of chips (by whole bag, I mean individual serving, not like family size, but still...) I feel pretty good about it.  I think working out in the morning had me starving all day though so that was no bueno.  I'm thinking of getting up and doing the early morning workout thing again on Thursday.  We'll see if I actually get my butt out of bed to get it done.

Off topic, my kids' teeth are driving me crazy!  My oldest knocked her tooth loose over the weekend.  This is fine.  It's a baby tooth so it's bound to come out anyway but it's still annoying.  Then Monday I noticed my youngest' front tooth is starting to turn gray (!!!) so I asked my mom about it yesterday and she said it may be because she knocked it while she was swimming the other day.  This was news to me but again, it's a baby tooth so what can you do?  I sucks that it's turning gray and if it falls out, she's going to have a gap there for YEARS.  Sometimes they turn gray for a few weeks and then come back.  That's what I'm hoping happens here.  They both have a dentist appointment August 8th so we'll see what the good doctor says about it.  Ah.  The joys of motherhood.

Oh! Oh! Oh!  My husband got a third interview!!  Yay!  It's next week so please keep sending those good vibes out there.  I really appreciate all of you who have sent a good thought his way.

So that's it in our neck of the woods.  What an exciting life I lead.  I appreciate every one of you who take the time to read my ramblings.  I think blogging has really helped me stay on track and is far better than any support group I could go to.  To reward you for your efforts, I give you a couple cute little panda pictures for today.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Early Birds Are Crazy

So I got a bug up my butt about going to the gym before work this week.  As I've been complaining about my schedule all summer long, I figured with only two weeks left, I should do something about it.  Better late than never, right?  So my gym opens at 4:00 a.m.  That's right... A.M.  I have to be to work by 5:30.  I figured if I got there right when it opened, I could work out for an hour...get ready in 10-15 minutes and then head off to work. I show up at 3:57 and there is a LINE...a LINE... of people waiting to get into the gym.  And they were all uberperky!  "Good morning!" with big smiles on their faces.  Seriously?  It's 4 o'clock in the freakin' morning.  Needless to say, I am not a morning person.  But I went and I worked out.  Did the elliptical and some weight training.  Took my shower and headed off to work.  I don't know how you people who get up so early to work out do it without feeling like you're going to puke.  I'm not trying to be funny.  By the time I was done with my workout, I felt seriously nauseous.  Note to self...must eat or drink milk or something if I ever attempt this again. Even now, sitting at work, eating my breakfast...I feel nauseous and probably won't get through half of it.  I salute you early're crazy, of course... but more power to you!

So while I was trying not to pass out at the gym this morning, Fox News was reporting how the Oregon State Board voted to cover bariatric surgery for citizens of Oregon. You can watch the story here.  Honestly, I wasn't paying close attention, but what struck me was Dr.  Sewell's opinion about the state paying for this service.  He gives an example of a woman who said she wanted the surgery "to be skinny and eat whatever I want because that's my lifestyle" as an example of how patients need to take some personal responsibility.  I bet he still let her self pay for the surgery and I bet he still performed it, knowing she was setting herself up for failure.  I'm sorry but this is a bunch of bull.  I'm sure there are people who get bariatric surgery thinking it's the magic wand that's going to fix all their problems but I don't think the majority of people are that way and for this doctor to say otherwise is insulting.  And the reasoning behind his opinion is obvious.  How many people whose insurance won't pay for it or who are just below the requirements for their insurance or state insurance or whatever end up scraping up the money or getting a loan to self pay?  And I guarantee you Dr. Sewell makes more money off self pays than he does the insurance companies.  So this doctor can prattle on all he wants about how "when government starts interfering with people's relationships with their doctors, their right to choose is taken away" (yes he actually said this) all he wants but for him, it comes down to how he can get paid more.  What Oregon is trying to do is help people pay for it, not force people to get it.  Now, whether or not taxpayer money should be spent to cover bariatric surgery for people is a topic for another day.  Personally, I think it saves money over the long run but I'm biased.  I was just really irritated that this doctor - who should know better than anyone how a surgery like this can change a life - got on television and used an idiot's reason to get surgery to put a few more bucks in his pocket.  He's a disgrace.

Now that I'm stepping down off my soap box, I have a recipe to share.  I made this last night and yes, it's a soup and yes, it's 105 degrees outside pretty much all over the country but it was yummy and maybe you'd like to try it in the Autumn.  This makes 4 servings (made 6 for us and my daughter had seconds) and I served it with a small side salad.  The picture below is close to what it looked like but mine was a bit more brothy and I used whole wheat noodles instead of the wide egg noodles.  I'd also recommend for bandsters to cut the meat a little smaller than recommended (I got a little stuck on the bigger pieces).

Beef Goulash Soup
6 oz beef top sirloin steak
1 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion (chopped)
2 c water
1 14 oz can beef broth
1 14.5 oz can low sodium chopped/diced tomatoes - undrained
1 medium carrot (sliced)
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 clove minced garlic (I used garlic powder)
1 cup cabbage (thinly sliced)
1/2 c dried wide noodles (I used a little more than this)
2 tsp paprika
1/4 c light sour cream
Snipped parsley (optional)
Paprika (optional)

Trim fat from steak.  Cut steak into 1/2 inch cubes.  In large saucepan cook and stir steak cubes i hot oil over medium-high heat about 6 minutes or until beef is brown.  Add onion; cook and stir about 3 minutes more or until tender.

Stir in the water, broth, undrained tomatoes, carrot, cocoa powder & garlic.  Bring to boiling; reduce heat.  Simmer, unconvered, about 15 minutes or until beef is tender.

Stir in cabbage, uncooked noodles and the 2 tsp paprika.  Simmer, uncovered, for 5 to 7 minutes more or until noodles are tender but still firm.  Remove from heat.  Top each serving with some of the sour cream.  If desire, sprinkle with parsley and additional paprika.

Nutritional Info
Calories: 188
Protein: 14g
Fiber: 3b
Total Fate: 7 g
Sodium: 397 mg
Carb: 16g
Sugar: 6g 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Weigh In 7/25/11

169.  Same as last week.  *sigh*  Too many treats throughout the week I think.  Something has happened to my motivation here and I just don't know where I'm going with it.

I got my fill on Friday.  Doc was nice as he always is...said he's very happy with my progress and I shouldn't feel discouraged.  Seems silly that I was so nervous to go knowing I hadn't really lost anything since the last time.  According to their scale, I was 1/2 lb down but that's over like 2 months.  Ugh.  Anyway, he gave me my fill, sent me on my way, told me not to wait for another one if it doesn't help the hunger.  He said give it 7-10 days and if I'm still struggling, to go back.  My doc rocks.  Honestly, I don't think the fill has done a whole lot.  I'm worried my pouch is stretched or something as I just can't seem to get to that really good spot I had going back in February.  A part of it is me just eating crap as opposed to February when I was more focused.  To give this fill a fair shake, I've got to get back to the good eating habits, a lot of protein, etc.

No I did not get my third workout of the week in.  I did go Friday for a full hour and sweated like there was no tomorrow.  Let me pose this question to all of you:
As you've lost weight, do you find that you sweat MORE when you work out now?
Overall, I sweat way less as I go throughout the day.  I've noticed that the summer, while still deathly hot does not have me sweating just putting on my clothes in the morning.  However, when I'm working out, I sweat A LOT more than I used to.  We're talking drenched in sweat kind of sweating...dripping off of me and on to the machine kind of sweating.  So why is this?  Is it because I'm actually pushing myself harder than I used to when I was heavier?  I know it didn't take as much to get me sweating 60 lbs ago but wouldn't it all be proportionate?  It seems odd to me but I love it (which sounds gross but bear with me).  When I get done with my workout and my clothes are sticking to me and my hairs all crazy matted down, I can't help but think I've actually accomplished something.  It makes it feel like the workout actually DID something.  Am I crazy or do other people feel this way too?

Speaking of exercise, my July goal just isn't going to happen.  According to my calculations, I have to work out the next 6.5 days in a row in order to hit my goal.  It's not that it's impossible.  I could do it.  It would kill me but I could do it.  And I'm considering it.  But here's the thing... I don't want to.  If I were to work out every single day this week, we all know that I wouldn't do ANYTHING the following week.  It's not like I'm cramming for a test.  It's a goal I set for myself to motivate me to exercise.  And it worked...almost.  I want to get to the gym, I want to exercise and I'm feeling better.  This schedule at work is just killing me (an excuse...I know) but it definitely makes it tougher to get there during the week and I hate leaving my family on the weekends to go work out.  If it weren't so blasted hot, we'd go out and do something active together but 115 degree heat and hiking just don't mix well.  Anyway...I'm going to continue to do what I can do this week and see where I land.  I think setting the goal accomplished what it needed to.  I'm more motivated to get active again.  Will I be disappointed when I don't make the goal and I take my ticker down?  Yes.  I don't like to fail (who does?) but my daughters go back to school August 8th and my work schedule changes back to something more manageable.  I think this will make working out a lot easier for me.  We shall see if I come up with a different excuse then.  Incidentally, my gym membership is due for renewal in September.  Still debating...

NSV:  Was doing a load of towels when I took a shower over the weekend so I grabbed one of the girls' towels to pat myself dry.  It fit around me.  These towels are like cheap hotel size (but much softer...I'm not a mean mom...they're just little.  LOL) and it fit around gaps around the belly, no cutting off circulation around the boobs.  I even had room to spare!  Very cool.

We watched a couple good movies this weekend.  
The first (and it's been out forever) was Thank You For Smoking. Very funny flick...very dark humor and if you're adamantly anti-smoking, you aren't going to like it. I'm a nonsmoker myself but I enjoyed it and its politically INcorrect leanings.  I highly recommend it if you're bored one night.

The second movie was Captain America... in theaters now.  I know... 2 movies 2 weeks in a row.  That's a record for us lately.  I'm not into comics but I generally enjoy the Marvel movies...Ironman, Batman (not sure if that's even Marvel), Xmen.  Anyway...this one did not disappoint.  A lot of good action scenes and the actor who plays Captain America (don't know his name, sorry) was really good.  I liked him in Cellular too so I think I may just be becoming a fan of his. flick that I think men and women alike would get a kick out of.

So that's the weekend in a nutshell.  I've got my meals planned out this week and exercise is on the to-do list. With this fill and a newfound determination, let's see if we can't get the scale moving in the right direction, shall we?  I've seen a lot of struggling in Blogland lately...let's get back on track together...right now.  

Your Monday DEMotivator:

Thursday, July 21, 2011

So Far A Better Week

I'm feeling pretty good about the food choices so far this week.  I chose NOT to use my Dairy Queen coupon last night and instead had an apple with Nutella.  Certainly a better choice.

I did go to the gym yesterday and broke a real sweat for 60 minutes.  Hitting my July goal is looking pretty daunting.  I only have 9 days left in the month and still haven't quite hit half way yet.  I know it's because I haven't been getting that third workout in every week which was critical to hitting the goal.  I have no plans this weekend so there's no reason I shouldn't be able to get that third workout in.   I may also need to kick it up a notch in the next 9 days and workout a little longer and maybe add a day here and there.  We'll see how it goes.  The bright side is I did the stair mill again and made it up 81 floors.  That's 2 up from last time. We'll call it progress.  I don't know what it is about that machine but I sweat like it's going out of style on that thing. I figure it has to be working.

I'm excited and nervous about my fill appointment on Friday.  In some ways, I've been able to eat as if I don't have a band at all (big bites, BREAD no problem, etc.).  I know the band isn't necessarily supposed to limit WHAT you eat or even HOW MUCH you eat, it's supposed to keep you satisfied longer.  Well, it isn't doing that either.  It seemed a couple months ago, I found it a lot easier to avoid the candy bowl and snacking.  Food was sort of a nonissue and now it's all I'm thinking about lately.  What am I going to eat at my next meal and how much longer is that again?  I'm also a little nervous that my doctor is going to be mad that I haven't lost anything since the last time I was there.  This is pretty unfounded as he's never been anything but supportive but I'm still kind of dreading it.

NSV:  So I tend to keep stuff FOREVER...specifically clothes.  They basically have to be either falling off me (at this point) to get rid of them or have holes or whatever.  As far as pajamas go, I've always preferred the oversized t-shirt approach.  It's warm enough long enough in Arizona that I don't usually have to have bottoms or something warmer.  Anyway, I have a nightshirt that I've had since I was 18 years old.  I was probably 19 the last time I wore it.  Since my preferred "jammies" were in the wash last night (and yes, I generally wear the same ones every night and make sure to wash during the day.  It's a lightweight football practice jersey I "borrowed" from Hubby when we first started dating and I've pretty much worn it every night since if I wear a shirt...moving on...).  So I grabbed this old nightshirt and it FIT!  Not quite as big as it used to be but definitely oversized and comfy for bed.  The shape's changed a bit but I do believe I'm approaching the size I was when I was 18...can you believe that?!?!

Your Thursday Tickle:

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Little Behind

4 Day weekend this weekend so I'm a little behind but I'll catch up.

I did weigh in yesterday.  169.  *SIGH*  That's down 1/2 lb from last week but still 1 lb up from my lowest.  I've been hovering between 168-170 for over a month now and it's really starting to tick me off.  I'm not making good choices but I can't seem to snap out of it.  I have an appointment with the doc for a fill on Friday but I'm not looking forward to it.  I feel like I'm being sent to the principal's office for a lecture about making good choices.  It seems like I finally get in a good groove with exercise and my eating goes to crap.  If I'm eating well, I'm not exercising so it's like I'm cancelling myself out.  Ugh.  There are parts of this whole lapband/weight loss thing that's just so much harder than I thought it would be.  For some reason, I always thought that if I was committed enough to have myself cut open and a plastic tube put inside me, I could stay committed long enough to take care of business and get to goal.  Why can't I stay motivated???  A fill will definitely help but a return to basics (measuring food out, no snacking, NO FAST FOOD, etc.) would certainly go a long way also.  Today's the putting it off until tomorrow.  I brought breakfast, lunch and a piece of fruit for here at work.  Getting back on the wagon TODAY.

I saw the new Harry Potter movie over the weekend.  Fan-freakin-tastic!  I know..I'm a geek.

Hubby and I had an adults' night away with another couple Friday night.  It was so much fun.  We had a fancy dinner and then went drinkin'...which we haven't done in a really long time.  Had a great time and it was nice to find another couple we can hang out with.  It reminds me that Hubby and I need a little more time away from the kids.  We also hesitate to find sitters or inconvenience my mom for nights out because she's watched them all summer for us as it is while we're at work.  Even when the kids are in school, we don't do it much because we feel guilty taking a night away when we're away from them all day as it is.  This has got to stop because I can see how not taking the time for just the two of us can really affect the relationship.  This weekend was so nice, just being able to spend time with him.  Imagine that.  I love my hubby.

My youngest daughter got sick over the weekend.  Boo!  Luckily, it wasn't until Sunday morning but the poor thing just isn't feeling well at all.  Hopefully she's doing better today (haven't talked to Hubby or my mom yet to get an update).

So I'm going to embarrass Drazil here just a little.  A few months back she did a post about people who took on a sex challenge to have sex every day for a week, month, year, etc.  Click here to read it.  Draz couldn't see what was so daunting about taking on a challenge to have sex with the man you love for 7 days in a row.  Well...we all can't be like Rambo and Draz and go at it like bunnies all the time.  Without going into too much detail, having two kids and gaining a bunch of weight wreaked havoc with my libido.  But thanks to Draz's post, I mentioned the challenge to Hubby who was all for it (DUH!  For some reason, having two kids and me gaining a bunch of weight has NOT affected HIS libido).  We started July 1st.  We made it two days before it just didn't happen that third day.  So we've been trying to start it up again off and on ever since.  Saturday we lucked out...we're now on 3 days in a row...a new recent record.  (He's going to be so embarrassed reading this...anyhoo...).  Even though we've yet to make it through or even half way through "the challenge", it's made a difference in the relationship, I think.  I say all of this to say that if you're feeling less intimacy with your partner as of late (and I don't mean just in the sexual sense), you may want to give this a try.  I feel it's actually bringing Hubby and I closer together on a couple different levels.  Oh!  And get rid of cable.  We haven't had ANY TV (we just watch movies) since we moved into our new place in May and this has done a lot for intimacy too.  I'll be honest though, I miss TV sometimes.

I tried something new at the gym on Friday.  I've always been very intimidated by the stair mill.  You climb and climb and never get anywhere.  I always flashed to trying to climb the stairs at work and huffing and puffing by the time I got to the second floor but Friday...I said "To hell with it!" and I did it.  I did half an hour and climbed 79 floors (albeit VERY slowly.  LOL).  It's a different kind of workout.  I wasn't huffing and puffing (probably thanks to the rate I was going - between 40-44 steps per minute) but I was sweating like crazy!  It was just pouring off of me.  According to the little machine, I burned over 200 calories in that little 30 minutes.  Not sure if that's accurate but it was a hell of work out.  It's been just over a year since I joined the gym and I'm still finding new stuff to do and try.  If you go to the gym but get bored, I implore you to check out the group fitness stuff or try a new machine.  It can make a real difference in your interest level.

So what else is new?  My hubby's second interview went pretty well but we're waiting to hear if he's moved on to the panel interviews.  We also have a lead on another job that would just work out so perfectly well for us.  The first job would be a mental health move and the second job would be a financial godsend.  So please, please send good vibes out into the universe for him on one of these jobs.

Hope everyone's having a good week so far.  I'll be getting caught up and commenting today (I know you've missed me the last few days).

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So Much Randomness

My creative juices just aren't flowing so you get bullets.  Deal with it.

  • I'm grumpy today.  I don't have a good reason to be.  I just am.
  • I got my hair cut over the weekend...nothing drastic - just a trim and brought my bangs back - but no one's said ANYTHING.  Not one compliment.  I actually like it...think it looks nice but it must look like crap.  The only time people ignore a style change is when it looks bad.  Ugh.
  • I have an appointment for a fill 7/22.  I need one.  Bad.  I'm eating like crap and I'm eating more than I should and I'm eating more often than I need to.  I could've gotten in on 7/15 but my hubby and I are celebrating my birthday (What? You don't celebrate your birthday all month long?) and our anniversary (8/2) that night with another couple and I really don't want to be on liquids for it.  When others have asked if they should put off a fill because of a vacation or event or something, I always say no because if you need one, you need one and it should be a lifestyle change, blah, blah, blah.  Apparently, I'm a hypocrite.
  • I'm in a funk.  Can you tell?
  • I have a product recommendation.  These are absolutely fabulous!!!

    • I made chicken enchiladas with the Santa Fe flavor.  Just mix cooked chicken (I used left over baked chicken), the cooking creme and cheese of your choice.  Spread it in a tortilla.  Wrap.  Coat bottom of baking dish in enchilada sauce, place rolled tortillas in dish, pour remaining sauce of tortillas, sprinkle cheese on top, bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.  Voila!  Delicious!!!  My hubby had some of the leftover chicken mixture heated up by itself without the tortillas and said it was still really good (for those bandstsers who struggle with tortillas or those low carbers out there).
    • The Savory Garlic one is just so-so.  It's not bad but just kind of bland.  You'd want to really kick it up with some other ingredients.  I did a very basic turkey with broccoli.  I just warmed up some leftover turkey breasts (probably about half). I added the cooking creme and steamed broccoli (steam just until al dente) and let it all stew and mix together for a few minutes until everything is cooked through.  Served with a side salad and strawberries for the kids.  Like I said, not bad but not nearly a good as the Santa Fe Blend.
    • Best part is they're not all that bad for you.  Supposedly 4 servings per container (about 1/4 c).  100 cals, 4 g protein, 5 g carbs and 8 g fat.  I use a whole tub in cooking but it made about 6 enchiladas and 8 servings of the other for my little family of four.  Would probably make less servings for a family where the parents aren't banded and the kids are over 6 years old but I digress.  Very yummy and easy to prepare for when you just come home from the gym and have to come up with something quick.
  • There have been a couple blogs that have emphasized how important it is to believe in yourself in this journey.  You can read them at Band Sweet Band or Banded for Me.  This is just so so true.  While they did a wonderful job at writing about it, I just needed to reiterate it.  People think WLS is a cure-all, a magic wand and that we do nothing but sit back and let it do all the work for us.  We all know this isn't true.  But just like anything, we're going to have setbacks.  Life is going to get in the way of getting healthy.  Our own mental state is going to throw us for a loop.  The important thing is the at the end of the day, we resolve to do better.  And even more importantly, when we wake up the next morning, we follow through and actually DO better.  And we can.  The lapband helps me not get quite so caught up in the "woe is me" attitude and the "I'm going to be fat forever" attitude when the scale's not moving.  I know I'm going to succeed.  I believe it.  Do you?  
  • Special thanks to Sam at Banded for Me for the Adorable Blogger Award.  You rock!
  • Hubby has a second interview today for a new job.  Please cross your fingers.  He's got to get out of his current situation and I'd think he'd really like this one.  If he does well today, he'd go on to a panel interview.  So many hoops!
  • Nutella has become one of my favorite foods.  I can't believe I never knew how good it was.  I just tried it for the first time last week and I'm in love.  Especially on apples.  Mmmmmm....
  • Work is bugging me.  I think it may be about time for something different and new.
  • Is there a reason no one will let me move the candy dish at work?  I mean...seriously.  I've tried and it always winds up right back in front of my desk.  Overall, I'm pretty good at avoiding it but yesterday the M&M's were calling to me and pleading with me to eat them and fulfill their life's destiny.  What could I do?  Those poor M&M's...they never saw it coming...
  • Fluffy inspired me to go to the gym yesterday even though I really didn't wanna.  Everything was stacked against it.  I accidentally grabbed the wrong pants and the wrong bra.  The gym was packed so I couldn't do the machines I wanted and the kids had a long day and were pretty worn out.  But I said to myself...well, actually, Fluffy said "Suck it up buttercup."  So I did and I went and I added 25 minutes to my workouts in July.  Huge workout?  No.  But I went and to make up for the half ass effort, I'm going again today.  
  • Feeling a little better after writing all this out.  Maybe this whole therapy blog thing really does work.
This turned into a really long post...If you've managed to hang in there, I appreciate it.  Have a wonderful Hump Day everybody!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Overcoming Intimidation

First, Weigh In.  169.5.  +1.5 from last week.  *sigh*  I don't want to dwell on this so moving on...

Since this week was a fail with the weight loss, I'm instead going to focus on something else that occupied my brain over the weekend.  Intimidation.  I think I always associated this word with bullies, bosses, interviews, forces to be reckoned know...things that scare you.  But the truth is we can be intimidated by some of the silliest things.  I used to be intimidated by the gym.  All the thin people, scary machines, group classes.  But after learning how to use the machines and attending a few classes, the gym isn't intimidating at all anymore.  This weekend, I had the opportunity to overcome some intimidations.  Maybe numbers this time?

  1. 105 minutes exercise logged.  When I set my 800 minutes of exercising goal for July, it intimidated me.  While realistic, it seemed like a big number.  I logged 105 minutes of exercise on Friday and it occurred to me that I can totally do it.
  2. I took my first spinning class.  Inspired by my sister and another blogger (who I am so sorry to say that their name escapes me at the moment), I decided to overcome my fear of spinning, suck it up and take a class.  So Friday...after doing a half hour of the treadmill (just a power walk) and 15 minutes of weights, I entered the Spinning Room.  That's the name I gave the room with all the cycles.  For one, it's where the spinning happens (DUH!) but secondly, it's where you feel like everything is spinning by the time you're done.  The instructor starts by asking if anyone's new, I raise my hand and she comes over to adjust my cycle to the proper height, etc.  How nice of her.  I'm instructor is really nice.  WRONG!  A wolf in sheep's clothing!  She is. the. devil.  Seriously...OMFG!  How does she make her little legs move so fast?!?!  I start dripping sweat, praying for mercy and she says "OK everybody!  Now that we're warmed up, let's really get moving!"  Warmed up?  WARMED UP???   It's then I realize that I'm actually going to DIE on a cycle!  By the time we're done, I'd gone through an entire bottle of water, I'm dripping with sweat, my ass is throbbing and my legs feel like they're about to fall off.  She says our display should be showing anywhere between 20-25 miles.  I made it 16 but I didn't care.  For a first effort, I was proud.  Two days later, my ass still kind of hurts but I'm thinking of trying it again on Friday.  Glutton for punishment?  Maybe.
  3. I went to a water park.  I hadn't been to a water park since I was 16 years old.  My BFF (who lost 115 lbs awhile back and looks FABULOUS) has season passes to one and she asked me last year to go with her.  I chickened out.  I don't do public displays of swimsuits.  This year, she told me I had no excuse.  She was right.  I really didn't.  So I went.  I took off my coverup and stripped down to just my swimsuit and walked around that park for 4 hours.  I even ate lunch there.  This sounds dumb but even if I had gone last year, I probably wouldn't have eaten for fear of people seeing the fat lady stuffing her face but this year, it was OK.  Was I still intimidated by the idea?  Yes, absolutely.  Was I entirely comfortable with it?  No, absolutely not.  Even by the end, I was still a little self conscious but I did it and that's what matters.  My friend had an interesting observation while we were there too.  They have double inner tubes so you can go down a slide with a partner.  While we were climbing up the ramp to get to the slide with it, she kind of laughed and said "You know...3 years ago, we couldn't have gone down together because we would've exceeded the weight limit."  Kinda sad but now very rewarding.  The other thing that struck me was I would've seriously struggled with the ramps and stairs last year.  I would've been winded just reaching the top last year.  So many NSV's hidden in that 4 hour time frame we spent at the water park.
  4. I went shopping.  I was going dancing Saturday night to celebrate my birthday with an old friend of mine.  I had NO pants that would work for this so I went to JCPenney who was having a magnificent sale and decided to see what I could see.  What I saw were size 14 jeans.  Lots of them.  So why is this intimidating?  So many options of clothes now and still so afraid nothing will fit.  Afraid that I'll go into the dressing room and be laughed out of there by the sales lady for even attempting to fit into regular sized clothing.  Still...even though I've already bought size 14 pants and size L shirts...I'm STILL so overwhelmed by shopping.  So I grabbed 3 size 14 jeans plus a size 16 for good measure.  I was swimming in the size 16.  One of the 14's was so small, I couldn't button it up.  The second was so big I had a good 3 or 4 inches left in the waist.  And the last pair were juuuuuuuuuussssstttttt right.  They were tighter in the leg than anything I've bought in years but I love them.  They really FIT.  They honest-to-god show off the goods.  And they don't flair at the bottom.  I have been buying boot cut jeans for years now to draw attention downward and away from my midsection.  Not this time.  I felt good in these jeans which hasn't happened in FOREVER.  Snapped a quick picture for you before I headed out for the evening...sorry it's blurry...not very good at taking self portraits.

So there you have it.  Overcoming intimidation and doing the things you want to do anyway is part of what this whole weight loss thing is about, right?  Some of us got so comfortable being fat that it's UNcomfortable stepping out of what we're used it hiding under baggy clothes, not wearing a swimsuit in public, not attending a group class for fear of looking like an out of shape idiot.  So my questions for you are:
What intimidates you?  Have you been able to overcome it or are you still struggling?  What helps you "suck it up" and get it done?

And now you're Monday DEMotivation:

Thursday, July 7, 2011

60 Minutes Down

Thanks for all the nice comments on yesterday's post.  Yes...Hubby did very well on the birthday surprise.  I especially love all the comments saying I'm tiny...Outside of my height, I don't think anyone's ever called me that.  LOL.

So I knocked out 60 minutes at the gym yesterday.  I did 30 minutes on the elliptical just for something different (I usually do the treadmill) and then 30 minutes of weights.  These arms will not be so saggy so help me!  Come hell or high water (or plastic surgery), they will look toned!  So something I noticed at the gym...everyone (particularly women) who were using the treadmills were thin but those using the ellipticals were of the... ahem... heftier variety.  So the first question is...  At your gym, do see a pattern where the already-fit people are using treadmills while the wanting-to-be-fit people are using ellipticals?  I have a couple theories as to why this might be.  The most obvious one is that the elliptical is less impact on your knees and ankles and for overweight people, those areas can be particularly at risk.  I always feel like I get more of a workout on a feels harder to me but maybe that's all in my head?  The other thing is intensity.  The treadmillers are usually running.  Are you really doing the equivalent on an elliptical?  Based on speed display alone it would seem that way but maybe that's not really true.  So the second question is, If you have noticed a similar pattern at your gym, do you have a theory as to why that pattern exists?  Just something I noticed yesterday...may have been flukey.

So Leslie over at  Bandsweetband is thinking of doing the Disney Princess Half Marathon.  I know a few bloggers did it last year.  If you could pop over and share your experiences with her, I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

Now for the Thursday Tickle:

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Weigh In, Birthday Surprise, NSV & Goals!

Yep...a lot going on in this post.

  • First, my weigh in.  I did weigh in Monday morning (yes...on a holiday weekend) and I was at 168.  -1 lb from the week before.  I'll take it!
  • My Birthday Surprise:  Hubby and I get up and get out of the house by 4:15.  We drive an hour into the town of Cave Creek and pull into a gas station parking lot that has a liquor store and Carl's Jr attached.  I ask my husband, "Please tell me we did not wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning and drive an hour to have Carl's Jr??"  He assured me that no, we did not.  This guy pulls up with a trailer and my husband goes over to talk to him.  Interesting.  I head on over and Hubby says the guy can go ahead and "show her."  Mmmmkay.  He opens the trailer and there's what appears to be a gocart inside.  I look at Hubby and look at this guy and say, "I don't get it."  The guy explains it's a powered parachute...basically a flying a gocart.  I still don't get it.  I see one seat and no parachute.  The guy assures me that the parachute is still in the bag which is sitting on the second seat.  Mmmmkay.  I'm having my doubts.  He drives us about 5 minutes into a state preserve park and we offroad a bit further in.  He then unloads it and starts explaining how it works.  I'll spare you the details but it turned out really cool!  We flew for about 30 minutes and he even let me steer for awhile.  We reached an altitude of about 1000 feet and then went lower into a wash to see some wildlife.  We also saw about a dozen hot air balloons taking off that morning so we flew over there to say hello and all the people in the baskets waved to us.  It was VERY COOL!  So here are some pics:
This is the "aircraft", you could seriously lift this up by yourself, it's so light.

This is me looking like a doof with my helmet and headset.

HUGE NSV here...Last summer, there's no way that guy would've fit there and I'm
 sure there's some kind of weight limit on this thing.

Ready to take off

Here we go!

And we're off!

Back on solid ground

  • NSV:  I went to the gym on Friday.  I worked harder than I have worked in MONTHS.  I ran/walked two miles and then did a half hour of weight training.  But that's not the NSV.  The NSV is that I wore shorts to the gym which has NEVER happened but I also felt confident and not like a total cow in them which also has NEVER happened.  I even snapped a pic before I left the house for your viewing pleasure (please ignore the dirty bathroom). 

  • Goals...I have set a new goal for myself for the month of July.  I couldn't get my stuff together to join the BOOBS challenge so I created one for myself involving exercise.  800 minutes of exercise in the month of July.  If I exercise just over an hour 3 times a week, I'll hit it.  Since going more than once a week has been difficult, this seems like a realistic goal for me at this time.  I've added a ticker at the top of my blog to show how serious I am about this.  I have to be serious about this because if you look on the right side of my blog, you'll see another ticker.  A countdown to my Mud Run in September.  I have just over 2 months to get ready for it so I need to get crackin'!
  • In other news, I had a great holiday weekend.  Ran some errands on Friday, had my Birthday surprise Saturday.  I went shopping with the family on Sunday because my oldest desperately needed new clothes.  We saw a good fireworks display on Sunday night and then spent Monday at my parents' house for a BBQ.  A few of my parents' friends were there along with my brother and his family.  My brother and I haven't been getting along tremendously well the last year or so but the day went by without incident so all was well.  I ate way too much because it was all so delicious but got back on the healthy food wagon yesterday.  Today is my first trip to the gym as part of my challenge so off to a good start.  I also spent over $100 in groceries for the week so cooking at home is also in the plan.
I hope everyone is having a fantastic week!