Since this week was a fail with the weight loss, I'm instead going to focus on something else that occupied my brain over the weekend. Intimidation. I think I always associated this word with bullies, bosses, interviews, forces to be reckoned with...you know...things that scare you. But the truth is we can be intimidated by some of the silliest things. I used to be intimidated by the gym. All the thin people, scary machines, group classes. But after learning how to use the machines and attending a few classes, the gym isn't intimidating at all anymore. This weekend, I had the opportunity to overcome some intimidations. Maybe numbers this time?
- 105 minutes exercise logged. When I set my 800 minutes of exercising goal for July, it intimidated me. While realistic, it seemed like a big number. I logged 105 minutes of exercise on Friday and it occurred to me that I can totally do it.
- I took my first spinning class. Inspired by my sister and another blogger (who I am so sorry to say that their name escapes me at the moment), I decided to overcome my fear of spinning, suck it up and take a class. So Friday...after doing a half hour of the treadmill (just a power walk) and 15 minutes of weights, I entered the Spinning Room. That's the name I gave the room with all the cycles. For one, it's where the spinning happens (DUH!) but secondly, it's where you feel like everything is spinning by the time you're done. The instructor starts by asking if anyone's new, I raise my hand and she comes over to adjust my cycle to the proper height, etc. How nice of her. I'm thinking...wow...this instructor is really nice. WRONG! A wolf in sheep's clothing! She is. the. devil. Seriously...OMFG! How does she make her little legs move so fast?!?! I start dripping sweat, praying for mercy and she says "OK everybody! Now that we're warmed up, let's really get moving!" Warmed up? WARMED UP??? It's then I realize that I'm actually going to DIE on a cycle! By the time we're done, I'd gone through an entire bottle of water, I'm dripping with sweat, my ass is throbbing and my legs feel like they're about to fall off. She says our display should be showing anywhere between 20-25 miles. I made it 16 but I didn't care. For a first effort, I was proud. Two days later, my ass still kind of hurts but I'm thinking of trying it again on Friday. Glutton for punishment? Maybe.
- I went to a water park. I hadn't been to a water park since I was 16 years old. My BFF (who lost 115 lbs awhile back and looks FABULOUS) has season passes to one and she asked me last year to go with her. I chickened out. I don't do public displays of swimsuits. This year, she told me I had no excuse. She was right. I really didn't. So I went. I took off my coverup and stripped down to just my swimsuit and walked around that park for 4 hours. I even ate lunch there. This sounds dumb but even if I had gone last year, I probably wouldn't have eaten for fear of people seeing the fat lady stuffing her face but this year, it was OK. Was I still intimidated by the idea? Yes, absolutely. Was I entirely comfortable with it? No, absolutely not. Even by the end, I was still a little self conscious but I did it and that's what matters. My friend had an interesting observation while we were there too. They have double inner tubes so you can go down a slide with a partner. While we were climbing up the ramp to get to the slide with it, she kind of laughed and said "You know...3 years ago, we couldn't have gone down together because we would've exceeded the weight limit." Kinda sad but now very rewarding. The other thing that struck me was I would've seriously struggled with the ramps and stairs last year. I would've been winded just reaching the top last year. So many NSV's hidden in that 4 hour time frame we spent at the water park.
- I went shopping. I was going dancing Saturday night to celebrate my birthday with an old friend of mine. I had NO pants that would work for this so I went to JCPenney who was having a magnificent sale and decided to see what I could see. What I saw were size 14 jeans. Lots of them. So why is this intimidating? So many options of clothes now and still so afraid nothing will fit. Afraid that I'll go into the dressing room and be laughed out of there by the sales lady for even attempting to fit into regular sized clothing. Still...even though I've already bought size 14 pants and size L shirts...I'm STILL so overwhelmed by shopping. So I grabbed 3 size 14 jeans plus a size 16 for good measure. I was swimming in the size 16. One of the 14's was so small, I couldn't button it up. The second was so big I had a good 3 or 4 inches left in the waist. And the last pair were juuuuuuuuuussssstttttt right. They were tighter in the leg than anything I've bought in years but I love them. They really FIT. They honest-to-god show off the goods. And they don't flair at the bottom. I have been buying boot cut jeans for years now to draw attention downward and away from my midsection. Not this time. I felt good in these jeans which hasn't happened in FOREVER. Snapped a quick picture for you before I headed out for the evening...sorry it's blurry...not very good at taking self portraits.
So there you have it. Overcoming intimidation and doing the things you want to do anyway is part of what this whole weight loss thing is about, right? Some of us got so comfortable being fat that it's UNcomfortable stepping out of what we're used to...be it hiding under baggy clothes, not wearing a swimsuit in public, not attending a group class for fear of looking like an out of shape idiot. So my questions for you are:
What intimidates you? Have you been able to overcome it or are you still struggling? What helps you "suck it up" and get it done?
And now you're Monday DEMotivation: