Happy New Year!

Happy New Year's Eve everybody!!!! I'm feeling much better today...I got over my little hurdle. I'm still feeling down about my weight but I am feeling that this year WILL be the year I can finally make the changes I need to make to get this weight off. Of course, I won't get my handy dandy tool to help me until at least July but that's OK. I have my 5 more months of supervised dieting to do (which I plan on getting back on track with right after this little holiday). I am SUPER psyched because my hubby and I are actually going out for New Year's Eve. We rarely get out and when we do, it isn't usually with each other. LOL. Two little kids and lack of babysitters can do that to you. But my SAINTLY mother has agreed to take the girls ALL NIGHT. They're having their own little New Year's Eve sleep over party which I'm sure they'll love and Ron and I got a hotel room so we can live it up without worrying about an hour's drive home. WAHOO!!!! On that note, here are some pics of my girls in their "casual" Christmas dresses. They have formal ones for portraits but they loved these. Aren't they cute?

My girls not wasting any time....

Maddie hamming it up

Lori helping Grandpa squeeze lemons (I know it's not a Christmas pic but it's so cute!)

My favorite...Lori looking up to her big sister...

So here's to you, my inspirational bloggers! And to a very happy, SKINNY new year!

Ain't no cure for the Holiday Blues

Hello All. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. As the title suggests, I'm feeling a little down. Let me first say that my Christmas was really nice, the girls were so excited and loved all their presents and the Giant Minnie Mouse was a GIANT hit! That being said...

I fought off the bad feelings for the holiday itself but it started Christmas Eve. I had to get a last minute gift for my daughter so I ran to Target. Both girls were with me so I had to figure out a way to hide the gift until we got to the register. So since I could use a new pair of pajamas any way, I picked up an XL set and wrapped the gift in it so they couldn't see it. You guessed it. They don't fit. I guess I'm not really surprised but the last time I went to Target and bought a shirt there, it fit. So needless to say, it just made me feel fat and ridiculous. So now I have XL goal pajamas sitting in my closet because I just can't bring myself to return them (not that I like them that much but I feel ashamed).

Flash to Christmas day...my husband bought me a very pretty sterling silver bracelet that I had wanted from Macy's. I looked at this thing and I'm thinking there was no way it was going to fit around my fat wrist. It did...but barely. It's not cutting off circulation or anything but it doesn't fit as well as I'd like.

I always feel a little depressed when Christmas is over as it is my favorite time of year and I love the decorations and the Christmas music and all the festivities. So it's always a little sad to me when it's over and the decorations start coming down. I don't take mine down until the weekend after New Year's but still...

We bought new bins for the girls the put their toys in (trying to get organized and cleaner in 2010. LOL) and just organizing their room and picking up all the toys and cleaning everything up left me exhausted. It shouldn't be like this! I'm not even 30 years old! I should have plenty of energy!

I guess it was just a few little things that have gotten under my skin this year - about my weight in particular. Needless to say that month 2 is not going as well as month 1 with all the holiday eating. Blah. I promise I'll be back with holiday pictures and a more positive attitude later this week. Just felt the need to get some feelings out. I know none of this is earth shattering but it just hurts my mood...

Happy Monday to all!

Merry Christmas!

To all of you who have lent your support so far and to those who are sharing your stories and providing inspiration to people like me, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! I hope you're able to enjoy this time with your family and friends and be truly grateful for all the blessings in your life! I'll be spending the rest of the week Christmas-ing with my family and in-laws (sigh) but will have all of you (especially Cara who is having a particularly difficult holiday season - please keep her in your thoughts) in my thoughts and prayers!

1 down - 5 to go

Happy Friday to all! The appointment went great. I lost 4 lbs! I was really surprised to see that seeing as I haven't been nearly as regimented as I should be. Ron is down 28 lbs!! He's only been doing the liquid thing for 2 1/2 weeks since we started the Monday after Thanksgiving so I think that is fabulous! The doctor was also very pleased with his progress. So I have one month of my six month diet DONE! WAHOO! Hopefully the rest will fly by like this one did. Turns out, our surgeon also did the liquid deal for 6 weeks once...not to lose weight but as some kind of detox thing. I think he just wanted to know what his patients go through which I think is awesome. Just wanted to give an update. Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Minnie Mouse Adventure

OK...this isn't band related at all but I had to share my story. My oldest, Maddie, who is 4 years old has been prattling on about a giant stuffed Minnie Mouse (pic to left to give you idea of size) they sell at Sam's Club. For the last two months, every time we go, we have to go see Minnie. At Thanksgiving, she told a friend of mine that she wanted it for Christmas. My hubby and I, however, decided that with our current financial situation, we would not be spending $60 on a stuffed giant Minnie Mouse that we do not have room for. So after making gingerbread houses on Sunday (will post pics soon), Maddie wanted to write a letter to Santa. So we get out a piece of paper and crayons and my hubby starts helping her (she's getting good at writing letters) so he helps her spell Santa and then asks, "So what do you want him to bring you?"
Maddie: "Minnie Mouse" so they write Minnie
Ron (Hubby): "What else."
Maddie: "That's it."
Ron: "You don't want anything else?"
Maddie: "No. Minnie and whatever else he wants to give me is fine." Then she says...get ready for it... "OH! I want him to bring Lori (her sister) a microphone!" So my heart's melting right now. So I send Ron off to Sam's Club to buy Minnie. We live 20 minutes from the closest Sam's Club. They're sold out. Every Sam's Club in a 40 mile radius is sold out. So I get online and figure I'll just order it that way. Nope. It's over $100 everywhere. I didn't realize Sam's Club had such a good deal. Ron ended up driving over an hour to get this Minnie Mouse. Sheesh. Things we do for our kids. He says it's taking up his whole trunk. Poor guy. But what a great dad. Just had to share.

Band news: First monthly weigh in an hour. Ron has been doing great on the liquid diet. I'm just hoping I didn't gain anything. Too many holiday goodies I'm afraid. If I gained even an ounce, my 6 months starts over. Wish me luck. Happy Thursday everyone!

Quick Update

Just wanted to drop a quick note to give an update. My week (from a weight loss perspective) sucked last week. Just couldn't seem to stick to anything but the "no soda" rule. This week I'm actually trying my husband's protein shake dealies for two meals a day. I'm doing this for two reasons: #1: This week is super busy at work and doing the whole lunch/breakfast thing just isn't going to happen so at least I won't be starving and #2: The one thing I really can't let happen is to gain any weight during my six month diet. I think if I do one week a month of this protein thing and one healthy meal at night...it'll ensure that I at least maintain my current weight. As for my hubby, he's doing GREAT! He's allowing himself one meal a day on the weekend as a reward for doing so well during the week. Saturday he had a big ol' mediterranean salad with very little dressing and yesterday he had a bowl of homemade low cal chili. He officially weighed in Sunday morning and he' s lost 17 lbs already! That certainly helped remotivate him for this week.

As for the rest of the weekend...I got ALL my Christmas shopping done on Sunday. Wahoo! I'm one of those still-shopping-at-5:3opm-Christmas-Eve kind of people so that's HUGE for me. LOL. I went out dancing Friday night which haven't done in years. Learned a couple things...I'm too old for my old stomping ground but still too young for some of the other clubs that had older folks bumpin' and grindin' on the dance floor like they were in some rap video. I think next time I'll have to head off to Scottsdale where people my own age seem to congregate. Overall though, I had a great time. I got to hang out with one of my best friends from high school so that's always a treat! Hope y'all have a great week!

Day 1 of Diet - Success/Obstacle

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Ours was very good...very mellow...and very yummy. So my husband started his liquid diet yesterday and he's doing great! I started my "giving up soda and beer in preparation for the band, start eating better, and drink all my required water" lifestyle yesterday. I am not doing as well. I have not had beer or soda and I really did try to eat better but my youngest daughter's birthday was this past Sunday and that stupid birthday cake was calling to me. Why didn't I send the cake home with my parents, you ask. Because my dad's diabetic and I thought that would just be mean. So instead, it sits in my house taunting me. So I had a slice of cake with a scoop of ice cream last night. But that's it. I'm going to give my daughters a slice tonight and into the trash it will go! So who wants to see pics from my daughter's birthday? I do! I do! Okay...here we go. She turned 2 on Sunday and she loves teddy bears so we did a Winnie the Pooh/Teddy Bear type theme.

My hubby in Pooh ears...isn't he cute?

Yes...I put them on too

My oldest on the new trampoline we bought for her sister

The birthday girl with her hula hoop (which I could not do, btw)

Yes, I made the cake myself - I'm pretty proud of me. LOL

Blowing out the candle

It was a great day! The girls were happy and the little one really loved her special day. I officially don't have any babies in my house anymore! :o( This is something I've been coming to terms with. My husband and I do not plan on having any more children, but a part of me would still like another. One thing is the band...while I know you can get pregnant, take the fill out and have a baby, I just don't think I'd want to put my body through another pregnancy (I am a VERY crabby pregnant lady. LOL) especially if I've hit my goal. There's also the financial part. I really don't believe you should have kids if you can't afford them and right now, we live paycheck to paycheck. Not wanting large age gaps between the kids, by the time we could afford another, I'm not sure I'd want to start all over with a newborn. Aaaahhh...hmmm...all the things women ponder that men don't seem to think too much about. haha! My husband was just like, "Yeah. I'm done." MEN!

Anyhoo...hope everyone is doing well...I've been following along with the other blogs and some are struggling but all of you are truly amazing women who are doing such a great job and are such an inspiration to newbies such as myself. So big ol' thanks to you for sharing your lives with us AND thanks for the advice about my hubby. I've hidden away any not-so-great stuff to eat in the house and am being supportive like crazy. Have a great day!

Taste Test

Hope everyone had a marvelous weekend! Mine was pretty uneventful. I host Thanksgiving so there was a lot shopping and cleaning but that's about it. We also took this weekend as an opportunity to taste test these Unjury protein powders to see which ones are bearable and which ones we'd rather just stay away from. Turns out they're really not so bad. I think after 6 months of anything - even if there are 5 flavors - you're going to be sick of it. My hubby says they taste a lot better than the old Optifast thing he did years ago. The chocolate is totally doable in milk and the chicken soup...while not my fav...probably will taste pretty good after days of the basic flavors. So while hubby is still not looking forward to 6 months of it (who would?!?!) he's encouraged that these drinks don't taste like poop. So last night, we ordered up a good month's worth of this stuff so he can start the Monday after Thanksgiving (we have to wait for them to arrive). We also discussed what would be the best way for me to support him in this. Obviously we all can't do a 6 month liquid diet. We threw out some ideas that maybe he'll want to go for a walk or something while the girls and I eat dinner so that he doesn't have to be around the food. The obvious one is to get all the bad stuff out of the house. He's a snacker so no chips, popcorn, etc. The girls still have their Halloween candy but I'm going to hide it.

So reaching out to all you bandsters...Since all of you have been on a liquid diet for at least preop...any suggestions on what I can do to help? Is there anything you wish your spouse/partner/roommate would have done to help you through it? I appreciate any advice or tips you can give me!

In case I don't get back on to post before T-Day. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember all the great things we have to be thankful for this year!

Ready, Set, WAIT!

We had our initial consultation with the surgeon's office. This "quick" appointment took about two hours and it went about how I expected it to go. We met with the nurse first who weighed and measured us. Apparently I am 3 lbs heavier and 1 inch shorter in their office than I am in the rest of the world. We really like the surgeon...he was very nice, direct, explained things very clearly and answered all of our questions. They took my husband and I as a joint consultation so if I forgot to ask anything, he remembered.

Then we met with the "bariatric coordinator" which is basically the insurance lady, Jennifer. She's going to call United Health Care and confirm exactly what we need to do in order to be approved. I was a little disappointed that neither she, nor the doc for that matter, were concerned that I had no comorbidities. Jenn (because I just feel that I know her that well...LOL) said let's wait and see what they say about that before we schedule appointments for sleep studies, etc. Apparently, what she has written down for UHC is different than what we have. She's also going to doublecheck about the 6 month diet and whether we can do it with them or if it has to be through our PCP. I hope it's through the surgeon's office because I really dislike my PCP.

6 month diet! So if I can do the 6 month diet through the surgeon's office (which I think we can) it started yesterday! Jenn basically said that all I have to do during these six months is NOT GAIN WEIGHT. I asked about what weight the insurance accepts and she's going to doublecheck but she says they usually go by the starting weight so even if you fall below the BMI during your 6 month diet you'll still get approved but I'm going to wait on confirmation before I lose too much ('cause we all know that we don't want to get too thin. LMAO!). Of course my biggest concern isn't even so much about the diet or surgery itself, it's the darn insurance.

My poor hubby though...

He has to basically be on the preop liquid diet for 6 MONTHS!!!! My husband is a big guy with a BMI of 72. Doc says he has to get the BMI down to 50 before he'll operate on him. My hubby has done liquid diets before (lost 190 pounds on one and of course gained it all back). Doc says that he won't gain it all back because when he's done with the liquid diet, he'll have the band which will help with the appetite and all that. I'm still skeptical but my hubby is committed. So for all new bandsters struggling with the pre or post op diet, take heart. At least you don't have to do it for 6 months!! To get his BMI to 50, he has to lose almost 150 lbs exactly. Doc seems to think this is very do-able but I have my doubts. It's going to make eating around him a horribly guilty experience so I'm not quite sure how we're going to work this out. I told my hubby that the last place we had looked at only required him to get to a BMI of 60 before they'd operate so wouldn't he rather do that but he said no. Said he likes this doc and since he's really scared of something going wrong during the surgery itself, he'll feel better if he's as healthy as possible before it. So right after Thanksgiving, he's starting his very long liquid diet.

One nice and not-so-nice surprise is about the program fee. It's $1200 per person when I thought it was only supposed to $1000 so that wasn't so great. BUT it's not due until the 5th month or so of the preop diet. That's when we start the psych consults, etc. This is nice because most places want it at the initial consultation before they even do anything for you. Anyhoo...that's about it. So we're officially on the trail to Bandland. Yippee-Ki-Yay!

Have a great weekend everybody!

Too much time on my hands...

So my initial consultation is tomorrow and as the title of this post implies, I've got way too much time to think about things. I'm excited because it seems like things are finally going to at least get started. But I'm also nervous because I've got all these ideas going through my head. "What are these ideas?" you might be wondering. Well, let me share. (Warning: Rambling ahead)

What if the doctor says I can't have the surgery? (can't imagine why he would. LOL). Or I'll try to hint about how I need him to kinda "find"a comorbidity for me and he'll tell me that I have to find one myself or how "unethical" that would be or how I'm an awful, cheating, dishonest person for even asking about something like that. Or that I'm not fat enough (whatever). Or even worse (and this is probably my biggest fear), he'll be on board and I'll do this 6 month diet and then United Healthcare is going to deny my claim so I won't even be able to get the darn thing.

These are the things I've been obsessing about today. And you can all see, I think most of them are pretty unfounded, or at least horribly exaggerated. I think the most legitimate fear is the last one. You never know with insurance companies. My husband's company has always been good, if not a little annoying. When I was pregnant, I had to call every time my doc did an ultrasound because they kept thinking I was asking for them instead of the doc ordering them. They also covered it after I called but I'm already imagining having to fight with them about it.

I blame most of this obsessing on work. Truth be told, my volumes right now are very low which is great for loss mitigation for my company (my area of expertise) but not so great at keeping my mind occupied all day. Incidentally, this is also part of why I'm overweight. An office environment where people are always bringing food + boredom = Fat Panda. LOL. Anyhoo...just thought I would share some pre-consultation rambling. Will let you know how the appointment goes on Friday.

PreOp Goal?

Okay...so I know I have 6 long months ahead of me but I'm feeling encouraged. I got to thinking about the changes in my insurance coverage which the doc's office will confirm when I go in for the initial consultation. But under the old coverage, with no comorbidities, I had to have a BMI over 40 which is no problem as I am unhappily sitting snug at 42.5. Now, I need 35.1 with one comorbidity. Well, as far as the comorbidity thing goes...that's gonna be up to the doc to find something that will work and I'm really hoping he will. Isn't that kinda psycho to HOPE for a comorbidity?

Anyways...this DOES, however, open me up to losing weight during my 6 month supervised diet. Ya see, before the change, I'd pretty much have to fake it in order to still be approved for the surgery after the 6 months because if I lost weight, I'd dip below 40 which would give the insurance company an excuse to deny my request. Now, however, I get to actually try to lose some of this weight myself before the surgery. I know, I know..if I could lose the weight, then I wouldn't need the surgery but the hardest part about losing is keeping it off and there's no way I'd lose enough to get close to goal on my own. That's obviously where the band comes in. But I've figured out that if I get down to 200 lbs, that puts my BMI at 37.8. Above the requirement but way below where I am now. That's about 4 lbs a month, a pound a week, a half pound every 3 1/2 days. It's pretty ambitious but I think it's worth a shot and will be a good starting point when I do get banded. It'll also help me feel like the next 6 months are just waste of time. All things I will discuss with my surgeon (hopefully) at my consultation.

In the meantime, I find myself fascinated with reading other bandsters' blogs and seeing their progress. I know I shouldn't obsess like this for the next 6 months but it's tough...especially when the mind starts to wander.

Initial Consultation

So after much searching and research, my husband and I finally decided on the surgeon we would like to use for the surgery. Even though he has a pretty high program fee, we're going to make it work. I have called and scheduled our initial consultations for 11/19! The could get us in this Thursday but my oldest daughter got a fever yesterday and today so I want to save any extra time off this week in case I need to take her the doctor! I know I've still got the 6 months supervised diet to do but I'm hoping his office can help with that...if not, there's always the pcp. The question of the comorbidity is going to be the biggest thing though so we'll see. It feels good to get the ball rolling though! This doctor is so highly recommended but the initial consult seems REALLY short. They go over all the technical parts (the operation itself, etc.) at the seminar. Since I've already attended a couple of them w/different docs, the office says it won't be required that we go to this one. So the consultation is only 15 minutes and they start setting up the other appts we'll need - psych consult, nutritional consult, etc. I hope we like him...really don't want to have to find another one. Wahooo - feels like we're actually getting somewhere!

Getting To Know You

Since my fellow bloggers are doing it, guess I'll do it too. (And yes, Mom, if my fellow bloggers went and jumped off a bridge, I would do that too)

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

A

Age: 28
Annoyance: People who don't use spellcheck, judgemental types and mommy wars
Animal: Dogs
Actor: Michael Vartan or the main guy from "The Mentalist" - they're just so darn cute!

B

Beer: Coors Original at home but Bud Light out
Birthday/Birthplace: June 27, 1981/ Rockford, IL
Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes
Been in Love: Yes - still am
Been bitched at: Who hasn't?
Believe in yourself?: Working on it
Believe in God: Sure
Before weight: 225 lbs - unfortunately, still here

C
Car: 2000 POS Chevy Impala
Candy: Chocolate
Color: Marron or Blue
Cried in school: No
Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
Chinese/Mexican: Chinese
Cake or pie: Depends on occasion - I make great homemade pies
Country to visit: Italy, Beliz...anywhere but here

D
Day or Night: Night
Do the splits?: Definitely not

E
Eggs: Over Medium with toast
Eyes: Hazel

F
First crush: Scott Little - 8th grade
First thoughts waking up: Don't wanna wake up!
Food: Italian, chili dogs

G
Greatest Fear: Being a disappointment
Goals: To become healthy for my girls, To be more patient with everyone, To love myself and know that I'm good enough just the way I am
Get along with your parents?: Yep

H
Hair Color: Dark Brown with unnatural Blond highlights
Height: 5'1
Happy: Overall, generally speaking...
Holiday: Christmas
Health freak?: I wish!
Hate: Not feeling like I'm living up to my potential

I
Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate Chip
Instrument: Nope

J
Jewelry: My engagement/wedding rings
Job: Data Analyst (exciting stuff)

K- Kids: Yes, two girls. Madeline is 4 and Lorelai is turning 2 this month!
Kickboxing or karate: Nope, but if I were to do one, it'd be kickboxing...I think it would burn off aggression better

L
Longest Car Ride: 3 days cross country with a 6 week old
Love: It's all you need
Laughed so hard you cried: Oh yeah
Love at first sight: No but I believe in Lust at first sight (isn't that fun when it happens? Oh...to be single again..LOL)

M
Milk flavor: Does milk come in another flavor other than chocolate?
Movie: Hmmm...I like them all but if I had to pick, Gone with the Wind, Galaxy Quest, My Best Friend's Wedding, Steel Magnolias
Mooned anyone?: Am I a guy?
Marriage: Yepperoo - 6 years this past August
Motion sickness? Through mountains
McD’s or BK: McD's

N
Number of Siblings: 1 brother 10 years older than me and 1 sister 8 years older than me...I'm the baby
Number of Piercings: 2 in each ear
Number: 10

O
One wish: To win enough money to get out of debt and not have to worry all the time.

P
Place you’d like to live: Somewhere with a milder climate and seasons (other than Hot and Hotter)
Perfect Pizza: I like simple - chicago style with sausage
Pepsi/Coke: Coke

Q
Questionaires: Never do them...can't you tell?

R
Reason to cry: Do I need a reason?
Reality T.V.: The most evil thing to happen to television
Roll your tongue in a circle? Yes

S
Song: Anything I can sing along with (much to my husband's dismay)
Shoe size: 6 1/2
Salad Dressing: Ranch
Skipped school: Once
Smoking: Never
Sing well?: Eh - not as bad as some people who audition for American Idol
Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries

T
Time for bed: Depends on how bad my day was - anywhere between 9 and 11
Thunderstorms: Love them but they're too rare in Arizona
TV: It's always on in the background but don't actually watch much]

U
Unpredictable: I'm not but I wish I were

V
Vegetable you hate: Cauliflower
Vegetable you love: Asparagus or Brussel Sprout in low fat butter sauce (YUM)
Vacation spot: Sedona or anywhere with a beach

W
Weakness: Dessert or my girls (they can make me do anything)
When you grow up: Do I have to grow up?
Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Shelly by far
Wanted to be a model?: Really?

X
X-Rays: Never

Y
Year it is now: 2009
Yellow: The color my girls look best in

Z
Zoo: Columbus Zoo or the one in Washington, D.C. - they both rock!
Zodiac sign: Cancer

Where do I go?

So I got over the insurance thing. I had Gestational Diabetes with both girls, lots of joint pain and a slight urinary issue since I've had my last child that may help with the comorbidity thing. I'm sure I'm prediabetic in some fashion and with my sleep disorder...who knows? Maybe sleep apnea can be part of it too.

I got the packet from my husband and the surgeon most recommended is Scottsdale Bariatric Group. However, looking over their stuff has me somewhat depressed. It seems they want you to do everything outside of their office and just give them all the completed paperwork to submit to insurance. I'll be honest. I'm kind of a baby when it comes to this kind of thing. I want someone to hold my hand and tell me everything I need to do. With this place, you have to have your 6 month diet completed (or you can do their program for $750 which to say the least might as well be a million right now) and all your comorbidity testing stuff done before your initial consult. You also already have to have a letter of medical necessity from your pcp. I thought the surgeon's office did most of this stuff?!?! I don't know...it seems with this place, while highly recommended, you're just another number. So I'm in search of another office to look into as well. Thanks to an anonymous post from my local area here in AZ...I'm going to start with WLIAZ and see how we feel about that.

The issue of cost has also come up. Without going into too much detail, my family's financial situation is rocky, at best. This is why it's so important for insurance to cover the surgery. I can handle copays and stuff (as long as it's not due all at once) but these program fees I'm seeing are crazy. The one I looked at last night has a $350 fee just for the initial consultation and another $350 for a psych eval. Another place I looked into last year, True Results, wanted $1000 program fee PER PERSON (my husband is getting the band too) due up front "in case we go through all this and the insurance doesn't give approval." I'm sorry but that's a lot of money for us and we just don't have that kind of cash.

I've decided to start the 6 month diet with my pcp because that's probably cheaper and that way I'm not wasting any more time than I have to. And if he wants to write a letter of medical necessity for me too (and he better), then that'd be great but no rush on that since I've got six months since I need to submit to the insurance anyway.

So that's where I'm at with everything. Got some researchin' to do today. Special thanks to Dash for following along with my blog! I've been checking yours out..I think I'm up to May. LOL. You're doing fantastic!

Insurance requirements

So feeling kinda down. Hubby came through and talked to the insurance company about the band. They recently changed their requirements and we wanted to make sure it was still covered. It is but it's definitely changed and, at least for me, not for the better. I've compared the two below.

Old coverage:

BMI >40 alone or >38 w/two comorbidities

6 month supervised diet

New coverage

BMI >35 w/one comorbidity

6 month supervised diet

Okay...I know this doesn't sound too bad. It actually sounds better with the lower BMI right? Well, here's the thing...my BMI is 42.5 and, as far as I know, I have NO comorbidities. The reason I'm getting the stinkin' surgery is so I don't develop comorbidities. My father has Type II diabetes and heart disease. My grandfather died of complication with Type II Diabetes. There's history of several different kinds of cancers on my mom's side, breast and ovarian for sure but don't remember the others, but I recall reading somewhere that obesity can increase your odds of getting them. I don't want to deal with the diabetic nonsense which is why I wanted to do this. I'm still going to go see a surgeon and see if they can find a comorbidity to that insurance will cover it but I'm not as optimistic as I was. What I was really hoping for with the change of coverage was that they would do away with the 6 month diet. At six months, if I get in to see the doc in November, the earliest I could have the surgery is May/June, but realistically July. That's sooo far away.

Picture Day!

I promised pics so here they are. I even included a couple of me...in good faith that I won't break the internet.

My girls and I baking

Okay...so those were me. Now for the cute people...My girls in their costumes and hamming it up.

And finally, my hubby...isn't he sweet to put up with me?

Alrighty, so I'm a woman of my word...pics are posted. In band news, my husband heard from his boss (the doctor) who is working on this informational packet type thing with highly recommended surgeons, etc. Apparently, there's one really good group here in Phoenix from all of her research and she would recommend that one. She's supposed to be bringing the packet in for him today so hopefully I'll be able to do some research tonight.

Hope y'all are having a wonderful day!

Paranormal Activity

I know I promised I would post pics of my girls for Halloween and I totally will...tomorrow. Can't hook my camera up to this pc so it's gonna have to wait until I get home. They were adorable and got tons of candy...I have no idea what we're going to do with it all. Weekend was good and I got my second round of medical records. WAHOO! So that's 5 years baby! Now to just set the darn consultation appointment. *Sigh*

Moving on, I wanted to spend a little time telling you what I thought of the movie "Paranormal Activity." My husband and I used to be movie people...we saw anything and everything that came out in the theater. Then we had our kids...now we see maybe 4 movies a year. That being said, we try to pick our movies carefully since we don't get out that much. Since our date day was near Halloween, we wanted something scary and heard that this was just the ticket. *********Spoiler Alert*********** If you're planning on seeing this movie, you may not want to read any more. For everyone else, this movie is NOT scary! I'm sorry, but a big part of it is the"possession" of the main character where she gets up and stands by the bed, rocking back and forth and then going downstairs and sitting outside...all the while in this sort of catatonic state. BIG DEAL! Now to understand why this is not spooky to me...I'm a sleepwalker. I walk, I talk, I hit, I yell, I run around and, yes, I've even woken up outside not realizing how I got there. So I'm watching this thinking "Big deal. She's not possessed. She just has restless leg syndrome!" LOL. My hubby, however, now has serious doubts as to whether my issue is biological or supernatural in nature, so he may be sleeping with one eye open after this movie. hehe. Anyhoo, not a bad flick, especially since it was made for like $15,000 and it does have creepy moments and the end is good. If you're looking for a good scare, however, I recommend "Drag me to Hell" or go with a classic "The Exorcist."

That's my rant about the movie. Will definitely post pics soon. Happy Monday everyone!

Why are you FAT?

Saw this question on LBT (LapBand Talk for those who might not know) and thought it was interesting...Why are you fat? The original poster makes the statement that there is usually an underlying cause as to being overweight than just not being able to control your portions. I think she's right but was shocked to see how many people responding had deep-seeded emotional issues stemming from abuse. It made me a little embarrassed when I started thinking about why I am fat. I was not sexually molested as a child. My parents' didn't send me to Fat Camp when I was 8. I didn't come from a broken home, an abusive home or had anything particularly traumatic happen to me. So I did some introspection, thinking that surely something just awful had happened to me to make me this way. Well, truth be told. Nothing did. I did this to myself. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm bored. I celebrate by eating. My whole family is this way. I love carbs! Give me bread, pasta, and chocolate!!!! I honestly believe that this is just how some of us are. We battle it - not because of some horrible repressed memory - but we became too complacent about our own health and living our lives! We got wrapped up in work, school, kids - just trying to survive in this society where EVERYTHING seems to revolve around how much money you have, how many possessions you accumulate, what kind of job you have - that we forgot one of the most fundamental parts about living...TO ACTUAL LIVE!!!

I, for one, am done being a spectator in my own life. I am going to take control of me again and be who I want to be and in the size body I want to be in.

Whew. That feels better. In other news...excited about the weekend. I took tomorrow off and my husband and I are having a date day. I'll post pics of my little monsters (aka children) in their Halloween costumes Monday. I love Halloween! A day where all the ghosts and goblins can walk among us and not be judged. I look forward to the Halloween where I get to dress in some sexy nurse's outfit and blow everyone away. LOL!

Happy Halloween Everybody!!

Speedy Docs

So I got a call from one of my doc's offices and my med record are ready to be picked up. Sweet! That was quick. I've been going there since 2006 so that's 3 years of showing I've been fat awhile down. Now, just waiting on the not-so-nice doc's office to fax over their stuff and that should give me my 5 years. WAHOO! Truth be told though, I could probably get 10 years worth if I needed to but oh well...

So was looking at Amy's blog and she posed an interesting question that I will answer here... "Is it easier to stay motivated if you were once thin?" Since I've never been particularly thin, I'd like to say "YES!" and shove it down the skinny people's throats! LOL. However, seeing as I've never been in that spectrum, I honestly don't know. I know I felt pretty good when I was a size 10. At the time, I felt like a big, fat cow that needed to lose 20 lbs but these days, I recall really enjoying myself and my clothes in a size 10. I think the motivation changes somewhat though if you've never been thin. I think there's an idea out there that everything is better when you're thin and I think there is SOME truth to that. For instance, you get more free drinks, doors open for you, and I do believe that in some instances more career opportunities. But the truth is, everyone has problems. Some of my best friends are thin and they can't keep a relationship or they can't figure out what they want to be when they grow up or they're surprisingly lonely. If you already have these issues and overweight, you're still going to have those issues post weight.

My main motivation is I want to do the things I used to be able to do at size 10, 12 and even 14 before my joints started hurting, my feet were constantly swollen and my back was in a constant spasm. I want to hike, swim (really swim....not just float around the pool), go to the beach (without hiding behind a giant raft or something), travel (without worrying about crushing the person next to me), amusement parks (specifically taking my daughter on her first trip to Disney World). And I want to do all the things that I didn't get to do because of time or whatever and now can't do because of the weight - white water rafting, skydiving (you have to be under 200 lbs to jump tandem), kayaking, scuba diving, snowboarding.

In the meantime, I'll keep dreaming and working towards finally getting a surgery date.

Medical Records

Okay...so since my husband is dragging his feet, I've decided to start the process up again on my own.

I called Kinko's and got their fax number (I have access to a fax machine at work but I don't want everyone here knowing my business) and then put in the requests to my two doctors' offices to get my medical records for the past five years. I know that's pretty standard on insurance approval guidelines for WLS. So...who knows how long it is going to take to get them. My one doc's office is in Ohio and her office started giving me lip because I wasn't having it sent to another doc's office. I told them they were my records and I'm entitled to have a copy if I want a copy. The lady was like, "Our office policy is that we only fax records to another doctor." So I replied, "Would you prefer to fax them to my attorney? Those are MY records and I have every right to request they be sent where I want them sent." Now, truth be told, my "attorney" is my husband. He is an attorney and he could call and scare them with all kinds of legalese but, seriously? Just to get my records? This lady finally relented and and said that they'd fax them after they were done copying them. I don't quite get that either...why do you need to copy them to fax them? Why not just run the originals through the fax machine? WHATEVER!

So anyhoo, I feel good that I at least took that first step. My husband also assures me that I should have a list of recommended surgeons' names from his boss (reputable doc here in AZ) by the end of the week. Then I can call around the next week and see who we might want to go with. Since we're getting the list from my husband's boss, I know they will be reputable and experienced so that's a big weight off my shoulders, but I also want to know if a) they're good about helping you with all the insurance stuff and b) aggressive with fills. From everything I've researched, the fills are key to success with lapband and it seems that some docs seem to take FOREVER to get people to their sweet spots. I really want to hit my sweet spot in the first six months after surgery so I want to make sure the doc I go to isn't a wuss about it.

That's about it today...I promise I will post full length pic soon. I have them but I post mostly from here and can't download any of it on this pc. Stupid work...actually expecting me to work. hehe. Have a great Tuesday!

Why the band?

So....thought I would take today to talk about why I want the band, why I'm not banded yet and what I'm hoping to do about the situation.

I've always battled my weight...most people can relate to being the chubby kid on the playground. I was also always pretty active - a child of the 80's and growing up in South Carolina, most days I could be found on my bike or walking through the woods near my house challenging creepy killers (who always seem to reside in the backwoods of the south...lol) as well as bugs and snakes of all sizes to catch me if they could. I played softball through middle school and the first couple years of high school. Once I wasn't playing softball anymore, I became Miss Activity Queen and joined all kinds of clubs and stuff. I also worked at a grocery store, bagging groceries and stocking shelves so I moved around a lot. I went to Arizona State for four years and that's when the weight started piling on. I didn't think much about it while it was happening since I was pretty busy going to school, working and dating my now husband. I don't regret the way I look in wedding pics or anything but I had already started gaining at that point. I tried losing weight off and on throughout this time...weight watchers, South Beach, good ol' calorie counting, working out. Joined Curves...quit Curves. Joined a gym a couple times...quit the gym a couple times.

I had a couple kids and that's when it really hit me! I had my youngest in 2007 and within the year after her birth, I gained 30 pounds!! The rate at which I was gaining was what really worried me. I also had gestational diabetes with both girls and Heart Disease and Type II Diabetes run in my family so that's no good either. (Through all this, I should also mention that my husband is a really big guy - 6'2" and over 450 lbs).

So I started looking into LapBand and watched one of the seminars on video. Then I made an appointment with True Results in November of 2008. My husband (much more skeptical than me) came with and we got a lot of good information but just didn't like the vibe of it. It seemed they were more interested in selling you the band than making sure it was the right decision for you and they really pushed the self-pay thing. Also, I went through this idea that surely I could do this one my own (even though I had failed up to that point). Two or three weight loss adventures later (only losing about 15 at each and ultimately ending up 5 lbs heavier than where I started), here we are.

So why, you may ask, am I not banded yet? Well, there were those doubts in the beginning but now that I've decided beyond any doubt to get a band, I seem to be stalled. My husband has access to some great doctors through his job and one in particular said she would put together a packet for us with a couple surgeon's names (the best here in the valley) and people who have had surgery with these doctors that we can talk to in order to get their take on things. It's taken FOREVER to get this info (we still don't have it) and my husband isn't too keen on moving on without it. We've also had a change in insurance coverage (we didn't change insurances...they just changed coverage) so now we're back to square one to make sure it's covered and everything we have to do, etc. Again, insurance is through my husband so I was hoping he would take the reins and look into it. He hasn't. While I'm a researcher by nature (and trade for that matter), it seems he thinks I should do all of it but he's getting lapband too so it just seems a little unfair.

I'm finding this post is taking much too long so I'll end my story here for now and maybe post more tomorrow. Ugh...definitely feels like a Monday.

There once was a woman from Candyland....

So...my first blog entry. I debated starting this blog for a number of reasons and they are as follows:
1. I've noticed that people who are good at blogging are REALLY good at blogging and those who are bad are REALLY bad and those blogs are painful to read. I'm hoping I'm not in this category.
2. While really opinionated in real life, I find it unlikely that anyone will really care about that opinion online.
3. I joined both Facebook and Myspace and after 3 weeks quit checking it, updating it, etc. so my follow through is somewhat lacking.
4. I'm not telling anyone but my husband about my lapband surgery and there is a chance that someone I know could possibly stumble across this blog someday and there goes the secret.
5. I'm not banded yet so I don't think I can provide much insight by way of advice for new (or old for that matter) bandsters.

However, I have decided to throw caution into the wind and even if no one ever reads this blog, I can simply use it as a journal and venting mechanism on my journey. So there ya go. So introduction to me...

I am 28 years old, weight 225 and I'm short...not munchkin short but 5'1" makes that 225 look and feel awfully squatty. I am married to a wonderful man who main mission in life is to make me smile. He is also overweight and says he's committed to getting the lapband. I use the phrase "says he's committed" because I'm not convinced but that a different post for a different day. I have two wonderful daughters, ages 4 and almost 2, and they are the light of my life and partly the cause of my weight gain in recent years. They are also the inspiration for my wanting to get healthy at this point in my life.

I work for a Credit Card Company...a couple things to note: I am not the one raising your rates, closing your accounts or calling you asking to buy stuff. I work in the Fraud Department trying to keep bad guys from stealing your identity. I don't talk to customers because overall, I don't like people. LOL. Not entirely true...I'm not just not that customer oriented and I'm beter at analyzing data than apologizing to people for something my company did to tick them off.

One last interesting tidbit...I'm a sleepwalker, talker, screamer, hitter. I've done this my entire life and I've determined that the reason I do is because I'm really a superhero but my conscious self doesn't know it and my subconscience doesn't want to scare my waking self with this epiphany. My poor husband witnesses most of these episodes while I am generally blisffully unaware by morning.

So this is a little bit about me. More about my band adventure to come.