Thursday, July 25, 2013

I'll Never Weigh 125 lbs

So I'm a little slow, OK?  I was commenting on another blogger's site and hijacked it in the comments so decided to post it here.  I am not at my goal.

There I said.  How does that make me feel?  Meh.

It takes some of us longer than others to get where we want to be but here's the thing.  There is no finish line.  Even once at a goal weight, there's maintenance to worry about.  There's temptations and there's setbacks and stress and obstacles and LIFE.  Formerly fat folks...listen up!  You are ALWAYS going to battle your weight.  You are ALWAYS going to be formerly fat.  That's ingrained on you.  It has shaped the type of person you are today.  I'm not saying our weight defines us but all your experiences combine together to make you who you are.  So even once you've kicked obesity to the curb, it has left it's mark already.

That being said...something occurred to me yesterday.  I will never be 125 lbs.  Ever.  I am short, yes.  I SHOULD be 125 lbs.  I'm never gonna be and the reason I'm never going to be is because in order to hit that number, I would need to be 100% on every single day.  I honestly don't have that in me.  I hear awesomely successful people say things like, "I don't care that I'll never have ice cream again.  I don't care that I'll never eat pasta again.  I don't care that I'll never have french fries again.  None of that is worth it because I feel so much better now than when I had those things."  To them, I say good.  I think it's wonderful.  I do not have that in me.  I want to be able to have an ice cream cone once in awhile.  If I want a taco, then I'm going to have a freakin' taco.  I doubt I will ever be a person who works out HARD twice a day every day for the rest of my life.  Maybe I'll be the person who works out fairly rigorously once a day but two-a-days aren't gonna happen.

I don't care if that sounds pathetic to people who have "made it."  I don't care if it sounds like I'm not "committed to losing weight" or anything else.  It's the truth.  Some of us need to be honest about our journey and if I'm the only one who will, then fine.

I'm never going to weigh 125 lbs because I'm not willing to work hard enough to get there.  Here's the epiphany folks.  I'm OK with that.  For the last two weeks, I have eaten better than I have in MONTHS.  My body is thanking me for it by feeling BETTER than it has in months.  I'm not going to be a slave to that scale any more.  I will still weigh.  I will weigh because your weight is a symptom that you can track to see how you're doing but you already know how you're doing.  I knew I was doing terribly long before I stepped on the scale a couple weeks back.

I'm readjusting my ticker to a goal weigh of 140 because I THINK that's where I'd like to be.  I think it's attainable without being 100% perfect ALL THE TIME.  I hope I get there but if I don't and I'm happy then I've made it.  That's all it's about folks.  Be happy.  Be well.  Be able to LIVE the life you want to live.  If you're doing that, you've reached your goal.

Happy Thursday.  :)


Jeanette said...

I think the biggest goal is to be healthy and happy! And if you are there at 140, so be it :D For YEARS my original goal weight was 140, I got there and stayed there for a few years, but I guess my body adjusted and I eventually got down to 130-135 for a few years and it has just been in this past year that I am down around 125. It's a long process that I didn't exactly aim for or plan for. Listening to your body is the most important!

Beth Ann said...

First, great post! Second, I totally thought I was following you and found out today that I was not. So bizarre!

Ask Me About My Band, My Lap-Band said...

Girly!!! My goal weight is 145!! I'm 5'4". If any dr wants it lower to me that's unreasonable. For me.

Keep it up!! Glad you're back!!

Lap Band Gal said...

It's your goal. YOU make your goal. 140lbs sounds AWESOME! I know you will get there. Own it. Rock it. Great post!

Sheila said...


The end.

Steph said...

How tall are you? I know that for me, when I got down to 147, my body was like "What the hell?" It was unsustainable. My doctor told me that, but I didn't listen. I wanted to be this magically thin person and I thought that below 150 would be ideal. My body knows better. I was miserable and too hyper focused on every bit of exercise and food that went into my body. 160 to 165 (at 5'6) is where my body wants and needs to be and I'm fine with that.