Tough Love Tuesday

So, this is going to be a little ranty so forgive me but I've been seeing some blogs pop up in the last couple weeks of people in just a really bad place with their weight loss.  From the newly banded, "I've never heard of Bandster Hell before" blogs to the "I've been banded for 9 months and I've only lost 10 lbs" blogs to the "My name's MandaPanda and I can't control my grease intake" blogs.  Now I understand these struggles and I want to be as supportive as possible because I KNOW how hard it is to stay on track and how hard it is to keep muddling through when that scale refuses to budge week in and week out but I also often wonder if anyone in Blogland or real life is giving these people some of the tough love they really need.  Hubby tries to give it to me delicately but he knows that hormonal Panda will go ballistic on his butt if he's too tough.  Some trends that I'm seeing is that for some reason, regardless of how many blogs we read, bulletin boards we visit, horror stories we read, etc. we still think that WLS is some kind of magic wand.  So for those of us who have been messing with the same 2-5 lbs for months, here's the tough love that everyone in Blogland is too nice to provide:

• There is no WLS that is going to cause your hand to come up and smack you in the face if you choose to eat high calorie crap.  Period.  There just isn't.  I would love if every time I looked at a Sal.t.ed Caramel Frapp.u.cc.ino, my hand just smacked me in the nose.  It doesn't and it won't. 
• The band may not cause you problems with bread, pasta, tortillas, corn, cake, etc.  And even if it does cause you problems, are you strong enough not to try it anyway?  WLS cannot FORCE you to go low carb.
• No WLS is going to pull you out of bed and into a gym or onto the bike path or on a mountain trail or put you on a bike and make you MOVE.  I'm not saying you need to exercise to lose weight.  I think you DO need to exercise to be healthy.  Period.  And I DO think it helps you lose weight.  
• Band specific:  If you cannot eat real honest to god solid protein, YOU. ARE. TOO. TIGHT.  I know everyone loves that feeling of eating a few bites, feeling satisfied and full for hours.  But you're still eating.  If you're too tight, you're going to resort to slider foods (and let's be honest, it's probably not going to be protein shakes) to get by.  The band is not supposed to close up your stomach to the point that you cannot eat.  You will not lose weight this way.
• Visit your doc.  If you aren't losing weight, don't feel ashamed, don't feel like a failure.  Your doctor works for you and has a responsibility towards customer satisfaction.  What he can't do is read your mind or visit your house or call you every month to see if you're still at a good fill level, if you're struggling, if you're frustrated or if there's something he can be doing to help you get to that next level. Take ownership of your health.
• Re-evaluate.  Are you really doing EVERYTHING you can do to lose weight?  I know we all look into WLS because we cannot stomach the idea of yet another diet.  Counting carbs, calories, points, etc.  But you WILL need to make changes and if these are the types of things that will help you progress to the point where it is second nature to you, then that's what needs to happen.  Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  If you ballooned up to 350 lbs by eating enchiladas, ice cream and fast food (raising my hand here) every day then you aren't going to lose weight by doing these exact same things.  If I could naturally eye ball how much a cup of food is, I wouldn't have gained weight to begin with.  So I measure.  My lunch goes into a one cup Tupperware.  Eventually, my mind will get it...muscle memory or something and I won't need to do that.  But I'm not there yet.
• Specific to bloggers:  Don't disappear.  We all know what weeks or months with no posts means.  It means you fell off the wagon.  You don't want to log on everyday and write about how you aren't doing what you need to do to be successful.  I understand that...I really do.  But eventually, you get sick of writing it and it may even compel you to do something just so you can write that you did it.  
• Don't give up!  You can do it!  If you've fallen, pick yourself up and do whatever it takes for you to reach your goals.  

So there you have it.  Tough love for anyone who needs it.