- I went to the gym yesterday to do my 5k training. I really pushed myself to go faster and actually all out RUN. It didn't work. I only made it 2.5 miles before I just had to stop. Why is this an NSV? Because a) I made it 2.5 miles in 33 minutes. And b) I decided that I would do strength training instead of just calling it a day. So I went and started using some of the weight machines and promptly felt like I was going to vomit. I decided that I pushed myself too hard and it was time to go. But then I decided it would be a bad idea to stop without stretching because then I might be sore and it might carry over to my 5k on Saturday so I went back and did the stretching machine (sounds like a torture device but I love it!). Then I went home. Now, the old me would've felt like a failure because not only did I NOT complete my 5k yesterday but I also didn't do the strength training like I wanted. The new me says "Amanda...you made it 2.5 miles pretty quickly and you tried your hardest to keep working out. And you're actually disappointed that you couldn't keep going. You're growing!" And I'm absolutely right about that.
- My BFF who was going to do the 5k with me has decided not to. I'm still doing it. It's the first event like this I've entered by myself but I'm going to follow through - that's a big mental victory.
- A colleague at work asked me how I'm becoming the "incredible shrinking woman." Me? Shrinking? You betcha. Thanks for noticing.
The other question she asked is what prompted me to start trying to lose weight. Like there must be some kind of trigger or "defining moment" that inspired me to really commit to it this time. We talked about my BFF. Hers is kind of funny. She and her hubby had a deal that she would lose 50 lbs and he would quit smoking in a set amount of time and they would reward themselves with a Sleep Number Bed. It worked. They both did those things but once my friend hit 50 lbs, she felt so much better, she kept going. Was a Sleep Number bed really what inspired her to lose weight? Probably not, it was a way to reward herself and STAY motivated. I realized I didn't have an answer for my colleague. I don't know why this is the time I decided to commit. I don't know why I decided that I was committed enough to have surgery and stick to a program. I suppose there are lots of reasons. I'm approaching 30...I know that doesn't sound old to most people but it seems old to me. LOL. I don't want to waste my life being fat. Also, when I last visited my sister, someone asked which of us was older. She's 8 years older for goodness sake! I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of their fat mom. If I really think about it, maybe the exact moment I had enough was when I took a trip with my husband (can't remember where) and it was the first time I needed a seat belt extender. I fought back tears the entire flight. I remember feeling humiliated and disgusted with myself. So I guess that was my "trigger." That was way too personal to get into with a colleague but it definitely gave me food for thought.
So my questions for you today bloggers...
If banded and you're not open about your band, do you ever feel guilty answering the "how" question?
Banded or not, what was your "defining moment" that inspired you to truly commit?