Friday, April 27, 2012

Craptastic Day

Yesterday sucked.  I had my first quarterly review in this new role and it sucked big fat donkey balls.  Luckily, the "official record" says I'm meeting expectations, it was just the chat about it that sucked.  So I have 6 months to maintain a "meets" and then I can post out of this hell hole.  The money is good but so not worth feeling like crap.  That happened around noon.  I had meetings from 9 a.m. all the way through until I left and midway through this, I'm told that I'm not "delivering."  WTF?  So then I get off work and pick up my children only to find that my youngest has been throwing MAJOR fits 2-3 times a week at daycare.  Why am I hearing about it NOW instead of 2 weeks ago?  Then we get home, they're fighting, hubby walks in and the girls are being brats so we have to have a "come to Jesus" moment with them.

So what do you do when you have a really terrible day?  EAT!  Ugh.  That's right...we went to our favorite pizza joint and ate our feelings.  Well done Panda.

So that was yesterday and today is today.  I am not going to dwell.  I still feel like poop warmed over but I'll survive.  I usually pick up race packets the day before but I don't feel like messing with all that after work so I'll pick them up at the events themselves.  No worries...we're always super early.

So I haven't trained at all for these.  Isn't that weird.  I trained for like 4 months for my first 5k and this time...nada.  I guess it's because I know I can finish...I can always walk it.  The drive to RUN and beat previous times is what's missing.  Need to work on that kind of motivation.  Believe me, the NSV in that sentence is not lost on me.  "I know I can finish...I can always walk it."  It wasn't THAT long ago that I couldn't say that.  I didn't know I could finish.  I didn't think I could walk that far and I couldn't without really dreading it or hurting after it.  Need to work on motivation AND remembering how far I've come.

So that's where we're at.  I'm sorry this isn't a positive ready-to-face-the-challenges-of-life kind of post.  I know I should address the recent death of fellow lapbander that's going around Blogland but I don't have the energy.  I hope to post over the weekend or Monday with a fresh perspective and race pics!

Happy Friday to all!


Colleen said...

Sorry you had a bad day. Just think about what you are doing are running in not one but two 5Ks tomorrow. That's an amazing accomplishment. We all (myself included) need to focus on the positives. Hope you have a great weekend.

Grizzlyrider said...

Hope your races this weekend makes you feel better. Funny how one thing early in the day can color your whole day and attitude. Hang in there!