When I was talking to the doc at my fill appointment, I told him, "It's like I now know how much crap I can eat and still maintain." He said that's important to know so now I just have to decide if I want to maintain or if I want to keep losing. It was like a light bulb went off. Technically, I'm a statistical lapband success. I have lost 60% of excess body weight. But that wasn't the goal. That wasn't NEARLY the goal when I set out to have this surgery and get healthy. The goal was 140. The stretch goal 130. The "OMG! Can you believe I'm this freakin' skinny even if it only lasts 5 minutes because I OD'd on water pills to ge here" goal was 125. 162 was NOT EVER the goal. So why have I been acting as if it was?
I can't really answer this question. I think I got sick of thinking of losing weight. I got sick of working at it. My gym membership expired. I could shop in regular sizes and stores so it was all good anyway. It was so hot, blah, blah, blah. It's all excuses. Well, enough of THAT.
November Things to Do:
- NO SODA!!! AT ALL. Not one drop of the sugary devil's juice shall pass my lips (Wine is OK. LOL)
- Only healthy snacking. No fruit snacks (I mean...fruit snacks..not fruit AS snacks), chocolate, chips, cheetos, etc.). Just fruit, protein, cheese...stuff that comes from actual FOOD and not chemicals. Seriously, what IS a cheeto anyway?
- Do my best to cook at home and not eat out. I'm not committing to a number on this as it's just setting myself up for failure but the goal is to make wise choices even while eating out.
- NO french fries. Period.
- MOVE. That's it. Move my body. 30 minutes, 4 days a week. There MUST be cooler weather coming but even if it doesn't...I need to MOVE.
You may have noticed that I did not set a weight loss goal for November. I did for October and got NOWHERE. And not reaching that goal did what it always did when I didn't reach a weight loss goal - made me feel like crap. Made me feel like a loser for not doing what I set out to do...not even coming close...not even really trying. Not finishing things was the old Panda. Not the new and improved Panda. Not the Panda that set out to walk the 3 Day or set out to run a 5k or any of the other things I've accomplished in the last 14 months. I'm NOT going back to the person that WAS...ever. So in a way, it's like starting over. Rediscovering my determination and dedication to reaching my goals. Or in the words of my hero Yoda...
P.S. Special thanks to Robyn for giving me the Versatile Blogger Award. I'll get around to passing it on here in a day or two.
10 comments:
Congrats on the No Soda and no sugary snacks!
I have never gone back to SODA I hate the taste of it now! I am lucky I suppose.
I know you can do this and get to the goal you have for yourself. You are a fighter!
Does it make me sound really pathetic if I say I would rather have soda then wine????
No soda and no french fries needs to be added to my goal list for November too.
I love that your new ticker makes it look like you are 2/3 of the way through your pumpkin pie allocation!
These are great goals, I know you can do it! :)
MP, these all sound like great goals. I never set "number" goals for myself, because I have found my body will generally just do what it likes - I will get down when I get down, setting a time limit on my body is not a good idea. So I hear you. As for the accidental goal, again, I feel you! I did the same thing when I was on my die hard plan - hit 179 for about 5 seconds with the stomach flu and then popped right back up to 185-190! I could shop in "real" stores, was generally happy with my appearance, but 165 was my goal...and I never got there. Not this time! I know you can do it!!!
I think behavior goals are great! Something to constantly strive for instead of just yearning to see a number on the scale.
Wine is good ... same for starting over (even if it's just mental because you have come SO far) ... I still think you're inspirational and way too hard on yourself !
Personally, I don't like weight goals. You can control what you do (eat, exercise) but you really can't control what your body does with it. Congrats on great goals.
Terrific goals!! Like Robin, I don't do weight goals - if I am feeling good, healthy and strong I'm succeeding.. A drop in weight is an added bonus!
Good for you! I think sometimes we get comfortable and lose sight of the goal. Glad you're pushing yourself to finish what you started!
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