Picture Day!

For your viewing pleasure...

First...the cow cake!

Then the circus!

So there you go.  I think the cake turned out pretty good and I actually love that last picture.  Other than the sneaky backfat entering the picture, I like the way my face and neck look.  You take the good, you take the bad....

So I have my birthday surprise this Saturday.  My hubby says we have to leave the house around 4:30 a.m. This better be good...getting me up that early on my day off.   My mom is being kind enough to come watch the girls for us so they don't have to get up so early.  Thank goodness for grandparents!  I'm going to attempt to eat better this weekend but it is a 4-day holiday weekend so I'm not being unrealistic.  I'll do my best.

Stateside - Happy Independence Day!  Let us all remember the risks our forefathers took to win our independence and ultimately make us one of the best countries in the world.

The rest of the World - Happy Weekend to you!

And your Thursday Tickle:

No Pics Yet, 1 NSV and Motivation

First, thank you all for your birthday wishes Monday.  I'm taking 30 pretty well I think...so far.  I'm a little freaked as it seems I'm officially supposed to be a grown up or something now but I guess I'll get over that.

Second, because my laptop is a giant piece of %&!* and I'm ready to throw it out the f$%#ing window being difficult, I still do not have pictures to share.  I'm going to keep working on it tonight and see if I can figure it out.

NSV:  I was looking for a pair of jeans to wear to work today and, while it's a good problem to have, it's a little frustrating because they all look so baggy and unflattering.  So I pulled a pair out from the bottom of the stack and tried them on.  They're a pair my mother gave me YEARS ago and they have never fit.  I could never even button them.  Well, ladies and gents...they fit!  And they fit pretty well...a little baggy in the butt and I'm not thrilled with the style but right now they look better than any other pair in my closet.  Good stuff.

I didn't go the gym yesterday.  I have no good excuse other than to say I just wasn't feeling it.  I haven't slept well at all in the last 2 days (stress of turning 30?) as in I'm waking up every hour or two, not falling right back to sleep.  So annoying.  So I didn't go to the gym.  I know I NEED to work out.  I NEED to be active and when it's 115 out, the gym is really the only option there without dying of heat stroke.  Yes, I see perky young people out jogging in their spandex and sports bras but let's be honest...that ain't happenin' with this body (at least not yet).  On a slightly unrelated note, does anyone know anything about eye twitches?  Mine has been twitching for two weeks straight and it's starting to drive me crazy!

I also cleaned out my purse yesterday and found my weigh in information for my last appointment with the doc.  I have only lost 1 lb since then and it's an iffy pound if that.  I have determined the "easy" part of this journey has ended...the "I don't have to work TOO hard to lose weight" part...the "I can still pretty much eat crap all week and lose weight because I'm eating so much less" part... the "I don't HAVE to work out to lose weight but it's nice to be healthier" part.  I am now entering the "I must eat healthier stuff and exercise regularly if I want to lose another pound" part.  I am OK with this..knew the day would come.  I was hoping I'd be a little lower on the scale when it did but I wasn't expecting the band to do all the work for me.  And it really hasn't.  In the last 10 months, I've tried to make better choices and be more physically active.  The last month though has just sucked on the motivation front.  For whatever reason, life got in the way and I'm having a hard time pulling out of it.  I'm having a hard time getting back to where I need to be.  Those 30 things I listed on Monday are great but they're not good enough.  It's not all I wanted out of this.  I didn't just want to lose 60 lbs...I want to hit my goal.  I want to lose at least 30 more and I can't just sit by waiting for the Weight Loss Fairy to come by, wave her magic wand and give that to me.

So there you go...hopefully a more motivated me is on the horizon.  I know I need to just suck it up and get it done but for some reason, getting my mind and my body on the same page is a bit of a challenge.

I'd like to give a shout out to a few people who have surgery dates scheduled.  Let's all send good losin' vibes to them as well as they enter Pre-op Land.  Lisa, Kristina, Little Red Riding Hood and Lee Ann - Good luck to you!  If you have a date scheduled or are a newer blogger and I'm either a) not following you or b) just missed you on the list, please leave a link to your blog in a comment.  I try to follow everyone who follows me.  Have a great Hump Day everybody!

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yep, yep.  The big 3-0....sigh.  I did weigh in today.  169.  That's -2 since last week and - 1/2 from my lowest.  That is EXACTLY 60 lbs down total and a great birthday present that is!  I'm also 1 lb past my birthday goal of 18 lbs.  Wahoo!  I was going to do a "30 things I love about my band" post but instead I'm just going to do a "30 Things I'm Grateful For" for my 30th Birthday Post (and yes, most of them are because of my band but not all).  Sidenote: The cow cake turned out awesome and we had a great weekend!  Pics and weekend post to come sometime this week.  And without further ado:

1. I have two wonderful girls who are, at times, challenging but so funny and smart (maybe too smart sometimes) and who are already learning healthy habits, not only from school but from me as well and that makes me feel like a good parent.
2. I have an awesome and supportive husband who was going to make sure I could reach my dream of losing weight come hell or high water and who is now committed to getting healthy too.
3. I have great parents who are unbelievably supportive and helpful with my kids.  I don't know how we would've gotten through the last 6 years without them.
4. My mom is coming around to being pretty supportive about the band.  Some may recall she wasn't at the beginning but as the weight has come off and I've become more content in life, she's noticed the difference and knows why it's happening.  It's nice to know she doesn't think I'm an idiot anymore (at least about this. LOL)
5. I look and feel better now than I did at 25.
6. I got hit on by a 22 year old when I was out dancing a few months ago.  Soooo good for the ego...especially when approaching 30.
7. I can run.  I haven't been able to run since I was 14 years old (and even then not fast and I'm proud to say that I'm just as slow as I was at 14. lol).
8. I think I can shop at just about any store now...even ones that don't sell "plus sized."
9. I have a good job that helps pay the bills and put food (hopefully of the healthy variety) on the table.  That's more than a lot of people can say right now in this economy.
10. I am more confident in my work and my abilities and convey my ideas in a positive way.  In some ways, I think my weight held me back professionally, causing people to get defensive when I disagreed with them.  Either my tone has softened as the weight fell off or people just perceive me differently but it's definitely a good change.
11. While my circle of friends is small, I know I can count on them when I'm in a jam and that's really what's important.  I've known them all for at least 6 years and they really are some of the best kinds of people around.
12. I've become more socially confident in the last year than I probably was since high school.  I KNOW this is because of my band.
13. Very few of my clothes fit.  They hang off of me and look kind of sloppy.  This is a GREAT problem to have.
14. The TYPES of clothes in my closet is expanding.  I've only bought a few new items but they have COLOR and more STYLE than I've worn in YEARS.
15. I look younger than my sister.  I SHOULD look younger than my sister as she is 8 years older than me but right after I was banded (like within a month), someone who had never met me asked if I was younger or older than her.  UNACCEPTABLE! 
16. I know that if I get stranded in the desert somewhere and have to walk 20 miles to get to a phone, I could and I wouldn't die.  Always good to know.
17. I can put my arms through a medium sized inner tube and not get stuck.  This was an incredibly embarrassing thing that happened to me last year.  Thank GOD my hubby was the only one around.  I tried the same inner tube this year and got in and out with ease.
18. I can wear shorts again!  I did not wear a pair of shorts my entire 29th year.  I've worn them every weekend so far this summer.
19. I feel I'm a better mom now than I was 2 years ago.  I can run with my kids, keep up with them, play with them in the pool and not want to pass out after 15 minutes.
20. I stopped wearing skirts and dresses when I was 20...I felt like I was wearing a tent.  I now wear a skirt or dress once a week to work (I would wear more if my wardrobe weren't anemic on these items).
21. I'm more fearless regarding physical tasks.  I did the 3 Day and ran my first 5k since being banded.  I'm now training for a Mud Run and a Warrior Dash.  The "new me" is looking for challenges and wanting to push myself physically.
22. I'm back to being adventurous.  I went bungee jumping when I was 11, hot air ballooning at 14, tubing down the Salt River (not much of an adventure. lol) at 16.  I used to hike, even at night.  Somewhere I lost that edge.  It's back!  I went ziplining in Vegas and I want to go kayaking, sky diving, white water rafting and rock climbing...my weight can't hold me back any longer!
23. Sometime in my 30's, I'm going to be a smaller ring size than the day I got married.
24. I will be debt free in my 30's.  In two years, our credit card debt will be paid off and both kids will be out of daycare.  We will no longer be living paycheck to paycheck and what a relief it will be!
25. I PREFER eating good stuff...not just healthy stuff but whole, natural made-from-scratch, from the earth, food.  I find myself craving stuffed chicken or even chicken sausages with veggies as opposed to fast food crap.  
26. While I obsess about losing weight and getting healthy, I'm not obsessing about how miserable I am about it.  Even when the scale doesn't move (or worse, creeps upward), I don't feel hopeless or talk down to myself about it.  My 30's are going to shape up to be a much healthier decade MENTALLY for me.
27. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and Doggone it, people like me!
28. I'm still hot but not nearly as hot as other summers.
29. I am starting my 30's under 200 lbs which I know I haven't seen since I was at least 25.  And not only am I little under 200 lbs but I'm WAY under 200 lbs which I don't think has happened since I was at least 22.  It's going to be a great decade!
30. Last but certainly not least, I am starting a new decade of my life with hundreds of internet blogging buddies, without whom I'm sure I would've gone nuts by now.  Having your support, commiseration and celebration with me every step of the way has certainly made the journey successful thus far and I look forward to sharing more of your journeys in the coming years!

All good stuff and still more to look forward to in my 30's!  Hope everyone has a great week!  Be on the look out for pics of this past weekend and, since age breeds wisdom...your Monday DEMotivator:

A Post Just To Post

I just realized that I would've posted every day I have access to the internet this week if I post today, so that's the reason I'm posting today.  There's been a lot of talk on the blogs about motivation, good stuff/bad stuff, staying on track, etc.  I thought I would post today about what being "on track" has meant to me since committing to getting healthy (this can be defined as the day I got banded, the day I decided to get banded, or the day ANYONE commits to the healthier lifestyle...banded or not).

• I'm active.  When I'm track, I'm working out.  Now, for me, this means going to the gym.  It doesn't have to mean this for everyone.  Hiking, biking, running around the block, running after your kids, doing a workout video, kayaking, whatever.  As long as you're being active, it counts.  With the time constraints I've had and my kids still being pretty little, for me, it's the gym because THAT'S where I can be active.  So when I gripe that I haven't been to the gym, it's not because I'm bummed that I'm not doing what I'm "supposed to be doing" or because I'm not following some regimented exercise program, or I feel I'm wasting money on a gym membership... it's because I'm usually not doing anything active to make up for not being at the gym.  Make sense?
• When I'm eating well most of the time.  I am not an all-or-nothing gal.  I believe in everything in moderation.  If I really want a cookie, I eat a cookie.  If I really want a rice krispy treat, I eat a rice krispy treat.  But I think the key to losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is making good choices most of the time.  When I feel I'm not doing well is when most of my meals are fried, fast food or just generally junk.  Generally this also means I'm snacking more and not of the healthy variety.  It means I'm visiting the candy bowl or grabbing a bag of chips or something.  

So there you have it.  If those two things are not aligned, I feel like I'm letting myself down.  And yes I do have to be doing both to feel productive.  If I'm eating right but not active, it just isn't good enough.  It's not just a mental thing though.  I can physically feel the difference when I'm doing what needs to be done.  If I'm not, I get grumpy, lethargic, I feel bloated and just BLAH.  The past two weeks, I feel good.  I feel back on plan, back on target.  I gained last week even doing what I thought needed to be done.  Whatever.  It's done and over with...no reason to really change the plan.  With the weekend ahead of me, it's possible I won't lose anything this week either.  But my birthday is Monday so oh well.  Maybe as a birthday gift to myself, I won't even weigh in Monday.  It could happen.  This scale whore could stay away from the scale one Monday.  Or maybe I'll weigh in Sunday just to take a peek and then move on.  Hmmm....

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend.  I turn 30 on Monday so be on the lookout for the "30 things I love about turning 30 with the band" post.  Hopefully I'll have cow cake pics by then as well.  Here's your Thursday Tickle (in honor of my oldest daughter turning 6 tomorrow):

Fat Girls' Fashion

So I'm checking out CNN yesterday and what do I see?  An article imploring fashion designers to stop ignoring the "fluffy" population.  It was a good article that made some good points.  The article is here for those interested.  For those who aren't link happy...I'll hit a couple of things that struck me which also include the comments to the article.  My opinions are below them in BLUE.

That is why, six years ago, Urshel decided that Kleinfeld -- now known for being the store showcased in TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" and "SYTTD: Big Bliss" -- would stock plus-size dress samples, which brides could order up to a size 32.
Yes!  Even fat people get married...go figure.  But seriously...this makes me hope that Kleinfeld's stays in business a VERY long time.  


She thinks the designers and retailers don't get it. She thinks they don't respect the plus-sized customer. Furthermore, she thinks they are leaving gobs of big-girl cash on the table.
Most definitely!  We know they don't respect the plus sized consumer because if they did, they would sell plus sized clothes.  Even at my heaviest, I would've spent more money on clothes if they were fashionable and actually better quality.


DeVoe says designers -- she cites Jean Paul Gautier -- think runways are about fantasy and "nobody fantasizes about being fat."
Duh!  Of course no one fantasizes about being fat but you know what they do fantasize about?  Feeling sexy, desirable and fashionable in their own skin.  Everyone woman fantasizes about this regardless of her size.  


It makes you wonder about the higher math. The average-sized woman in America is either a 14 or 16 -- depending on who you ask and what style she's got on (and sometimes which afternoon she's trying it on). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, she weighs 164.7 pounds.
Two things with this one.  If, according to the article, 16% of sales is plus size clothing but fat people hold 28% of the purchasing power, where is the rest of the money going?  Nowhere.  That's the point.  I'm still wearing clothes I wore 6 years ago.  Fashionable?  No.  But what was my motivation to get out there and be humiliated in store after store when nothing fit?  Or to go the stores where the clothes DO fit but they're ugly or cheaply made?  A little side note...anyone see the average woman weighs 164.7 lbs?  Does anyone also notice that I'm only about 6 lbs from AVERAGE??  Can I get a WOOT WOOT!


Even in department stores, the concerns of the plus-sized woman aren't considered, said Cohen of the trend-tracking NPD Group. The dressing rooms aren't big enough, and some stores have gang dressing rooms, which are tough for those with acute body awareness issues anyway.
The mere thought of a gang dressing room is seriously enough to make me nauseous.  I don't care how thin I get, it ain't happenin'.


"High-end designers should be making size 14s. That's lunacy if they're not. But as the population as a whole has gotten bigger, the idealized model has gotten smaller. It's a way of denoting its rarefied status and exclusivity, in a sad way it reinforces the status of thinness."
Alright...I'm not gonna bash on skinny people but most of the models I see on runways and magazines are TOO thin and airbrushed to the hilt.  REAL women don't look like that.  And I'm sorry but I like the few curves I have.  Women should have breasts!  They should not look like 12 year old boys!  And perpetuating the myth of what all women should look like is detrimental to young girls and gets them obsessed with being thin at a young age.  I'm sure there are studies and behavioral models that echo this!


So that's the gist of the article and my thoughts on it.  It's a pretty well thought out piece and focuses around a plus sized fashion show.  The models are gorgeous and they are actually "plus sized" model.  You gotta think if the average model is a size 00 for the average women who's a size 10-14 then the plus size model is probably a size 14-18 for a plus sized gal who's a size 26.  Makes sense.  But then you get into the comments.  Let the fat bashing commence!


Wedding dress model sizes are size TEN?  That is huge.  Lady, lose weight and stop complaining.  I am a size two.  How come I don't get to complain about the lack of sizes available for me?  And why is "petite" defined as anything 5'4" or under, when the average American woman is just that - 5'4".  If you are 5'4" and wear a size TEN, then you are going to die of fatness.
Yes because size 10 people are dropping like flies.  Seriously...they're starting to pile up in the streets.  The only thing that can make them come back to life is clapping.  Come on people, clap!  CLAP!


My wife has always been a petite and your are right, she has a terrible time finding clothes that fit. If we didn't have all of these fat people buying clothes maybe she wouldn't be in the minority and manufacturers would pay attention.
Several problems here.  1) Reading comprehension is a gift.  The whole article is about how fat people AREN'T buying clothes.  2) Yes being SHORT is difficult to find clothes (I know..I'm short) but getting an article of clothing hemmed is a hell of a lot easier than ADDING FABRIC TO IT.  Idiot.


I am the smallest in my family and lucky for me its natural I am a size 2 at 5'3. My mom and my sister are quite overweight though, my sister 19 is about 180lbs and 5'4 I think it is great they promote more stylish clothes BUT I would give anything to help my sister get healthy and not be PC about the fact she is OVERWEIGHT and could die early because people try to say oh honey its ok, NO  its not! I love her and want to grow old with her not loose her early to being fat. so YAY style but let all of you out there overweight remember you have major effect on those close to you!!!
This one's tricky.  She's still a fattist but she tries to hide it under the guise of being concerned for her family but her sister is 4 inches taller than me and weighs about 50 lbs less than I did at my highest.  She ain't keeling over from a heart attack any time soon.


Don't worry, big girls, no matter what size you are there are always clothes that make you look crappy. I weigh 135 and for every 10 items I try on, there's probably only 1 that looks halfway decent. Pants are always too long, shirts are too small in the boob area, sleeves are too tight (I guess the fashion industry doesn't think some girls might actually have muscles) so it's not just plus-size people that have problems getting stuff to fit.
I actually liked this one.  She's absolutely right.  How many of you at goal weight or near goal weight still have problems finding clothes that look good once you take it off the hanger?  The fact is designers aren't designing for the mass market.  They design their clothes for their models...size 00 with no curves or shape and look like sticks.  That's not going to work for 90% of women out there.


I'm not a skinny person myself but I don't agree we should promote being overweight or obese as something worth being proud of. It's a disease. Lets not make it a trend
Yes...because becoming fat is going to be a trend.  People are going to see these fashion shows and think "You know what I ought to do?  I ought to gain 50 lbs so I can wear that dress.  That's a fine idea!"  This is just ignorant.  Putting fat people in decent looking clothes isn't going to encourage them to stay fat or encourage anyone else to GET fat.  It's just going to make them look less disgusting to you while you judge them on the subway.  Idiot.


Of course, it all goes on and on about how fat people are gross and how we shouldn't use the term plus sized, we should just call them fat.  As if fat people don't know they're fat.  Seriously though, I like that someone's trying to draw attention to an ignored market.  Also, if fat people are so gross, do you really want to see them running around naked?  Because that's what would happen if they don't make bigger clothes for bigger people.  Duh.  The health problems associated with being overweight (that's mentioned NUMEROUS times throughout the comments) is unrelated to the article.  The article is about making people feel good about themselves and providing fashionable options.  To imply that fat people should be relegated to tents and moo moos is ridiculous.  If the only options are clothes that make fat people feel undesirable, unattractive and even MORE a freak than they already feel, what are they going to do?  They're going to stay home and eat away their sorrows.  They need to be out, finding hobbies and finding a life...only then will we (I was like this too so I ain't hatin') see why we should lose weight and that's to LIVE.  Sitting around your house because you can't find anything to wear (and yes, I've declined invitations to do things because I simply couldn't find a suitable outfit.  I'm not proud of that) isn't LIVING and isn't motivating anyone to get healthy.


OK....off my soapbox.  Happy Hump Day everybody!


P.S.  Sorry the fonts and backgrounds are kind of crazy in this post...I couldn't fight blogger any more with it.

I Won A Giveaway! And Other Stuff...

First, I wanted to thank Stephanie at Dreams of Skinny High Heels for hosting the Gotein Giveaway.  Of course I finall actually win something and could it be the lottery?  Of course not...I win protein but that's alright because I can always use some protein on the go even if ain't the best tasting stuff in the world.  So thanks Stephanie!

Second, I wanted to thank everybody for the positive reinforcement yesterday, especially about the dress.  I've never taken a picture of me in a dressing room before but I noticed a lot of you bloggers do it and I decided that sounded like a good idea.  PLUS you get to see what that article of clothing looks like in a picture because we all know dressing room lighting can be tricky.  One of the best tips I've picked up from y'all.

Third, I stuck to my water goal yesterday and I also ate fairly well.  One of my unsaid goals was to only eat what I bring to work during the day and I did that but then I had some watermelon at my parents' house when I picked up the girls.  But hey...better watermelon than more rice krispy treats right?  I also brought my coffee to drink yesterday and today so I'm Sbux free so far this week.  It's amazing how quickly morning coffee at Sbux can become a habit.  Very scary.  I think I need another fill already.  This last one just didn't seem to do a whole lot.  I'm going to call the doc's office this week or next and try to get in the week of the 30th.  That will be one month from the last fill which the doc said would be about right.  No time to get in before that anyway.  I also packed my gym bag for the day.  Honestly I'm not feeling it but if I can just keep up my motivation long enough to show up, then I'll be alright.

Some have asked what I've got going on for my birthday.  Well, truth be told...not a whole lot.  I wanted a HUGE party to mark my 30th.  It's a milestone after all but then decided that was not fiscally responsible at this time.  Also, my birthday is somewhat overshadowed by my daughter's.  Hers is the 24th; mine is the 27th.  The year I had her, I was asleep in the spare bedroom because I had fallen asleep during one of her late night feedings and my husband came in with a present and I asked what it was for.  He said "Your birthday."  I answered, "It's my birthday?!?!"  So yeah...hasn't been a big deal since approximately 2005.  So for my daughter's big day, Friday we're doing dinner, cow cake and presents with my parents.  Saturday it's anywhere she wants for lunch and then the circus!  She's never been before so I think that'll be really exciting. And then Sunday it's hanging out with friends who have daughters my girls' ages who they get along with really well...either doing a kids play thing or waterpark or movie or something.  A full birthday weekend for my girl. For my birthday on Monday, it's probably more cow cake and then on July 2nd, my hubby has my birthday present planned which is apparently doing something very early in the morning.  Then we may do a very nice dinner and a night out sometime in mid-July.  This week is completely devoted to cow cake mania (my hubby molded a cow out of rice krispy treats and it looks awesome!) and getting the presents together as I have not bought ANYTHING yet.  Whew.  Between Father's Day, the birthdays and July 4th, this time of year gets a little crazy around our house.

So there ya go.  That's my life in a nutshell right now.  I know the hum drum of the working mother is just uberfascinating, eh?

Weigh In & Checklist 6/20/11

Weigh In: 171.  That's up 1 1/2 lbs since last week.  *SIGH*  I'm not real sure where this came from.  My previous weight gains were easily explained away because I KNEW I didn't eat well throughout the week, I KNEW I didn't work out or I KNEW my portions were too big.  I'm really not sure where this one came from.  Let's consult the checklist, shall we?

• NO FAST FOOD - I stuck to this one.  I ate fast food 0 times last week.  I even went out to Jack in the Box and got hubby a milkshake (he started mushies this week, thank God!) and didn't get anything for myself.
• Limit Starbucks to once a week - CHECK.  I had Starbucks on Saturday and that was it.
• Exercise - 2/3 Check.  The goal was 3 times.  I made it 2.  I didn't go to Zumba on Saturday.  No good excuse but it's still an improvement over the last month.

From what I'm seeing up there, there really wasn't anything to cause a gain.  OK, OK...it may have been the 3 rice krispy treats I had yesterday and the bowl of ice cream but that wasn't enough calories to warrant a 1 1/2 lb gain!  The only other thing I can figure is the water.  While I did really well with my water Mon-Thurs, I don't think I drank ANY over the weekend.  We were in the pool Fri and Sat in 105 degree heat so maybe my body is retaining some for hydration purposes.  Either way...I'm trying not to feel too bad about the gain.  I told my hubby last night that I didn't think I lost anything but I also didn't think I had gained anything.  Weight gain is a tough thing to face first thing in the morning on a Monday.  But this is why I chose Mondays.  The first was to hold me accountable through the weekend (obviously didn't work this week, eh?) and the second was so that I'd be stuck at work and couldn't go on a food bender if the news was bad.  So far, so good on that.  So what are the rules for this week?  I'd love to say that despite it being my daughter's birthday on Friday and my birthday on Monday that these rules will all apply but let's face it.  They won't.  So here's the modified plan for this week.

1. No Starbucks AT ALL.
2. No fast food at least M-TH
3. Only 2 pieces of cake for the weekend.
4. Hit the gym 3 times this week - doesn't have to be Zumba the third time but it has to be SOMETHING.
5. Drink at least 64 oz of water EVERY DAY

Hoping if I can do those 5 things this week.  I at least won't show another gain next week.  

In other news...2 NSV's.  I went shopping over the weekend and bought 2 new shirts for work, both in a size Large.  I also tried on a summer dress which I thought looked pretty good until I took a picture of it.  The NSV here is that 1) it fit and 2) I never thought twice about trying it on.  The other NSV is that my wedding ring is falling off.  I had to go buy a cheap-o silver ring at Target to wear until I get down lower and have my ring resized.  I had to resize it once larger after I had my oldest daughter.  I think it's a 10 1/2 and the ring I just bought is a size 8 so I guess I should at least be happy that my ring finger has lost weight even if the rest of me hasn't.  I went ahead and included a picture of me in that dress just for giggles today.  Please ignore the bra...

Given my mood, here's our Monday DEMotivator for this week:

Eh

That's about all I can say about yesterday.

OK...to answer some of the requests for recipes for tzatziki and chicken burgers...So I didn't mean to mislead anyone but my dinner the other night was not a made-from-scratch situation.  Knowing I was going to the gym, I had to have a quick, easy meal to prepare (my kids go to bed by 8 and we didn't get home until 6).  So the chicken burgers, we bought at Sam's Club precooked and frozen.  I think the brand is Owk or something like that.  They're all natural so no nasty chemicals or anything.  They come 8 to a box and you just have to heat them up.  The tzatziki came from Trader Joe's (a low fat version - not sure if they all are), the veggies in cheese sauce were just your standard frozen (Picsweet I think?) and the strawberries...obviously are strawberries.  So all store bought, prepackaged kind of stuff but all natural and healthy.  Just goes to show that quick, easy "convenience" meals can still be healthy and nutritious.  And to answer Lisa's question:  Tsatziki is a Greek sauce (fantastic on gyros or shawarma) that's yogurt based and usually has cucumbers, garlic, salt, some olive oil and a few other ingredients in it.  I've never made it myself but love, love, love it!

On to yesterday's eating though.  Not nearly as impressive the day before.  What did me in was the meat and cheese tray someone brought into work.  It wouldn't have been so bad if I had eaten the meat and cheese without the crackers but I didn't.  What makes this even worse is that I wasn't hungry, I knew I wasn't hungry but I just wanted it so I ate it.  Then I had dinner with a friend that included bratwurst (with half a bun), onion rings and a margarita.  Ugh.  It tasted good but wasn't a great choice.  Even though I ate less than I would have in the past, it was still just so bad.  So for whatever reason, my motivation was lacking yesterday.  I just didn't make the right choices, KNEW I wasn't making the right choices but went ahead and made those choices anyway.  I have no excuses nor reasons why...wasn't feeling particularly emotional or stressed or anything.  It just shows how vigilant it seems we have to be ALL the time in order to be good MOST of the time.  Did that make sense?

So dinner with my friend was really nice.  We only see eachother every couple months so it's always nice to catch up.  She goes climbing at a rock gym fairly often and has invited me to come along.  I think we're going to try it next week.  I've never done it before so I'm pretty excited.  This was something I specifically wanted to do when I was heavier but didn't because I was afraid the harness wouldn't fit around me.  No worries about that now.  I also think if I like it, it'll be a good way to work on strength training for my Mud Run in September.  We shall see.

So I found a cow cake for inspiration for my daughter's birthday and I think it'll turn out really cute.  I will definitely post pictures after to show off my skills.  LOL.  The plan for the weekend is some birthday planning for my daughter (still have to figure out what I'm doing for mine), gym tomorrow, zumba and starbucks Saturday (assuming I don't have any today or tomorrow), more unpacking and organizing our den, probably swimming with the girls, shopping for a couple new shirts for work (most of mine are just too big which make them look kind of sloppy) and general family time.  What an exciting life I lead.  So...until next week, here is our Thursday Tickle:

To Do List - Check

1. Get through workday - Check!
2. Go to gym - Check!
3. Cook dinner at home - Check!

Everything I set out to do yesterday got done.  The workday is the workday.  There are some changes at work that's causing a bit of stress.  That's probably also what led to my Third-Life (I'm not at midlife) crisis yesterday. When I got home, there was ANOTHER article about making career changes and not being afraid to take risks in the local paper.  I'm tellin' ya.  They're signs!  Thank you to everyone who responded yesterday.  I appreciate all the advice and know that there are so many different paths a person can take that maybe it's not even fair to feel to "trapped."  

Anyway, back to my accomplishments yesterday...  I went to the gym and man!  I am already SERIOUSLY out of shape!  I did my 30 minutes of cardio...ran for 15 of it, not bad but nowhere near where I was a month ago.  Then I did 30 minutes of weights which kinda sucked because the gym is SUPER busy at the time of day I went (and will have to go at least once a week) so I couldn't be real choosy about which machines I got and I'm kinda picky about that kind of thing but oh well.  I did it.  A FULL HOUR of exercise.  I think I may have pulled a little muscle in my leg but I'm sure it will be fine by the time I go again on Friday.  I was also looking at the classes my gym offers again and they have so many I had forgotten about.  I think I'm going to explore this in the next month or so...maybe try Spinning or Kickboxing just to change things up and keep it interesting.

Then I went home and made dinner.  Spinach & Feta chicken burgers with no bun and tsatziki sauce (side note: my kids LOVED the tsatziki sauce!  They dipped their strawberries...everything... in it), strawberries (for the kids - not me) and steamed veggies in a light cheese sauce.  Very healthy and one small plate of the chicken and veggies filled me up for the rest of the night!  So far this week, I haven't eaten fast food even ONCE and I haven't gone to Starbucks.  So far, so good.

In other news, my hubby is in Beyond Bandster Hell.  Not only is he HUNGRY but he's still on liquids.  He's got on more week of this before he can move on to mushies and he's so done with soup.  He's also still having quite a bit of pain in his port area.  I kinda remember being done with the pain by now.  Any thoughts on that?  I told him to email the doctor today just to check but he's a man and he's stubborn so I doubt he will.  I DO feel for him though.  I know he's frustrated and he wants to EAT something other than just drink it.  Poor guy.

 Well, that's about it in my neck of the woods.  My oldest daughter is turning 6 on June 24th and I've gotta start getting stuff together.  Since it's the summer and all her school friends are MIA we're doing a full birthday weekend.  Friday, she gets to pick dinner anywhere she wants.  Saturday, we're going to the circus and then having cake and presents with my mom and dad.  Then Sunday we're going to see about getting together with friends who have 2 girls my girls' ages who they get along with really well and go to some kind of Kids' Play thing.  I also asked my daughter what kind of cake she wanted and she wants a cow cake!  Seriously, what 6 year old girl wants a cow cake for her birthday?!?!  Her favorite stuffed animal is "Mooey", a white cow with purple spots so I think I know where this is coming from.  Anyway...gotta get going on figuring out how to make a cow cake.  Should be interesting.  

I hope everyone's having a great week.  Happy Hump Day!

I'm Doing It (Whatever IT Is)

I packed my gym bag today.  I will pick up my girls, say a quick "hello" to my mom and then hit the gym.  I WILL do at least 30 minutes cardio and 30 minutes weight training.  I WILL work my tail off and push myself harder than I have in a long while.  I WILL go home after this and cook something to eat, as opposed to stopping somewhere on the way.  And then I WILL most likely fall into bed in an exhausted, sweaty, smelly heap and fall asleep until morning.

OK...Maybe the last part is a bit of an exaggeration but I'm exhausted just writing it.  So I've determined I seriously don't like working 4 10-hour days a week.  By Friday, I am just DONE and then I get to entertain my kids.  Hmmm...definitely not cut out to be a stay at home mom.

Shifting gears today and heading into the non-lapband, non weight loss topic of "What does Panda want to do with her life?"  I saw this article yesterday and it got the ol' wheels turning.  It was an article about nontraditional students (read "older") returning to school to take on things like Medical School or Law School or some other kind of huge undertaking.  Article is here for those interested.  Why did this hit home with me?  A couple things.  When I first started college in 1999, I was pre-med.  I changed my majors several times and eventually left college with no degree.  I tried to go back several times as an "adult" but never made it.  I had come to terms with this "failure to complete my degree" thing about a year ago and decided that I never want to go back to school, I don't really care if I ever get that degree and that I'm OK with it.  I know 30 doesn't sound that old to most of you but in a way, it signals an end to taking on a lot of new things for me.  I'm turning 30 at the end of the month, I have 2 kids, no money and no prospects of making more money.  Not that 30 is a dead end.  This is a birthday post for later in the month so I'll stop there with my thoughts about turning 30.

But what do I want to do with my life?  My current "career" (if you'd like to call it that) is fine.  I'm sure it's what a lot of people would be happy to do for the rest of their lives.  The pay isn't terrible, I get to sit in air conditioning all day, my boss understands what a "work life balance" is and there ya go.  I do believe that eventually my position will be outsourced and I'll be laid off and the thing is...other than having to get off my butt to find another job, the idea of it doesn't really bother me all that much.  What does that say??  I think it says I'm certainly not doing anything I'm really PASSIONATE about and I think it means I'm cut out for, if not more, something ELSE.  But what?  I'm not an artist like Draz, a writer like Ashilyn or anything that creative.  That stupid article got me thinking...what do I really want to do?  The sad part is the answer.  I really have no idea.  And if I don't know by now...will I ever?

OK...Enough "deep thoughts by Panda" for today.  This is what's rattling around up here folks.  Not a pretty sight, is it?  So instead, I'll focus on getting through this workday, getting to the gym and making a homemade dinner.  If I can do those 3 things today, I'm still in pretty good shape.

Birthday Goal Accomplished!

Weigh In - 169.5.  -1.5 last week.  Wahoo!  First, I'm in the 160's which is just so flippin' awesome!  Second, I have hit -18.5 lbs down since I set my birthday goal.  Can I get a heck yeah?!?!  Feeling pretty good about myself this week.  LOL.  I hit my birthday goal which is HUGE.  Those of you following for awhile know I don't usually set weight goals for myself as they can sometimes be deflating for me so I set a modest yet challenging goal for myself and I'm happy to say I hit it.  I'm also only 1/2 lb away from 60 lbs lost which is fantabulous in my book.  Great start to the week.

I got my fill on Friday.  I also have some stats about my band that I never had before.  Turns out I have a Standard AP band that holds 10 cc's.  Doc added .5 cc's to my band on Friday which gave me a total of 4.5 cc's.  Seems low to me but the amount of restriction I've had seems to be working for me so I'm not going to stress over it.  This is also only my 4th fill and I've had my band about 10 months so it just shows that everyone's different in what works for them and that we shouldn't get hung up on statistics.

So the plan for this week.  Maybe Bullets?

• NO FAST FOOD.  I've gotten really lazy about this rule I set for myself at the beginning of this journey.  While I don't eat it nearly as often as I used to, I have certainly fallen back into some bad habits.  So I'm recommitting to this one this week.  (Of course, Chick-fil-a is still exempt because the cows on those commercials are just too darn cute).  Next Monday, I'll report how many times I ate fast food this week...answer should be ZERO.
• Limit Starbucks to once a week.  I remember we once had a debate about whether or not Starbucks was fast food.  I'm not looking to reinvent that debate but sufficed to say that I love their fancy, shmancy coffee drinks (I say "coffee drinks" because their regular coffee is too strong and bitter for me and I hate it but I love those sugary blends they come up with) and if you're not getting food with it then the whole "food" part of "fast food" is irrelevant.  It's my rationalization...let's move on.  The fact is I've been having convenience coffee far too often (be this a cappuccino from Circle K or a $4 beverage from Starbucks).  Not only is this not helping my weight loss but it ain't too good for my wallet either.  So...I'm bringing my own coffee every day to treat myself to Starbucks on Saturday morning.  
• Exercise.  Yep...GOTTA do that.  Only 102 days until my Mud Run and so far I haven't trained at all for it.  I'm finding my new schedule to be a challenge.  After working 10 hours, the last thing I want to do is work out.  So my goal for the summer (then my schedule changes back to 8 hours) is 3 times a week.  One day during my work schedule (I'm aiming for Tuesday), Friday mornings (I'm off) and then Zumba on Saturday.  

So those are my challenges this week.  Next week is going to be somewhat different in that I have my daughter's (and my own) birthday to contend with.  Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  And so here's the Monday DEMotivation for this week:

Ho Hum Thursday

The big news around my house this week is that, according to the doctor's scale, my hubby has lost 100 lbs since we started this process last year!!!  He's lost 15 lbs just since surgery (liquids will do that, eh?).  According to our scale, he's lost 91 lbs but right now we're going with the doc's scale because dayyum!  That's impressive.  So so so proud of him for how hard he's worked this year and I just know the band is going to be just what he needs to help him accomplish his health goals.

There's really not much to report about me.  I'm eating...OK.  Not great...but OK.  More home cooked meals this week (VERY important).  I am absolutely convinced without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what you eat, it's a little bit better for you if it's homemade.  Take a hamburger and fries, for instance.  This is your typical fast food meal, yes?  Well, at least if I make it at home, I'm using LEAN ground beef, maybe adding a couple veggies in for good measure and using a whole wheat bun or no bun if I haven't been to the store.  The fries would most likely be baked as opposed to fried (mostly because I don't have a large deep fryer) with less salt.  I'm also convinced that they (the elusive "they") put chemicals in absolutely everything you eat to keep it "fresh" or "addictive" (especially McD's...there has got to be SOMETHING they put in those fries that make me want more).  So there you have it...my very scientific explanation as to why cooking at home but still eating like crap is STILL better than eating out.

A little product endorsement.  Bought a package of Chicken Burgers  from Sam's Club last week and tried them a couple days ago.  The kind I got is stuffed with spinach and feta cheese.  They have another kind with caramelized onion and swiss (I think).  DELISH!  If you add a little cucumber sauce or a tzatziki, it'd be even better.  I made a tomato & cucumber salad to go with it and it complimented it very well.  I think it would also be good cut up and in a salad.  My oldest daughter even liked it so it got the kids' seal of approval (which is impressive since there's spinach in it).  On top of everything else, it's all natural (none of those nasty chemicals I was talking about earlier).  Closest picture I could find...

1 NSV to report.  I took the stairs from the bottom floor yesterday at work.  4 flights with the first flight being more like 1 1/2.  I still felt like I was going to die by the time I reached the top but, But, BUT...I made it up the first 2 flights before I started feeling that way.  Getting better...

Hope everyone's having a great week.  For the rest of the summer, I have Fridays off of work. What does this mean?  It means no more Friday Funnies from me until August.  I know, I know.  Dry your tears.  Instead we'll be going with a Thursday Tickle (as in tickling your funny bone...get your head out of the gutter people!)

Have a great weekend everybody!

Adorable Blogger Award & NSV's

Very special thanks to Patrick for giving me the Adorable Blogger Award.

Rules of the Award
*Thank the person who gave you this award, and link back to them in your post.
*Tell us 10 things about yourself.
*Nominate your bloggers.
*Contact these bloggers, and let them know they received this award.

Ten things about me.  Hmmm...After blogging so much, there cant' be much you don't already know but I'll give it a shot...

1.  One of my favorite movies when I'm feeling down is Robin Hood: Men in Tights.  Always makes me laugh.  I'm pretty sure my hubby almost didn't marry me because of this.

2.  I actually enjoy brussel sprouts - saute them, roast them, steam them, fry them...serve them with cheese, serve them with butter, serve them plain.  I would eat them with a goat and I would eat them in a boat...


3.  I'm a dog person yet don't own one.


4.  I worked at a grocery store as a bagger (ahem...courtesy clerk) when I was in high school and still bag my own groceries to this day (assuming no one else is around to do it...and to be honest, I'd rather just do it myself so the bags don't rip and my bread doesn't get smashed...).

5.  I no longer recycle...the new place doesn't have a bin.  I think that's weird.


6.  I never really liked recycling.  I did it because it's the right thing to do but it seems like my hubby (and he knows this is true) would leave plastic bottles everywhere even once the bin was full and then yell at me when I just threw it away.  I'm sorry but there are too many rules to recycling about what kind bottles and what kind of papers and what the number says on the bottom.  Guess I'm glad I can't recycle.  I counted this as 2 because well...there are two separate points here, I swear.


7.  I once had a bicycle towed.  I got it back

8.  I played softball when I was younger and I KICKED ASS.  Seriously, I did.  I was good.  *sigh*  I miss that.


9.  I also bowled as a kid..like in a league and in tournaments and stuff.  I won all kinds of trophies.  I haven't been bowling in ages...not as cheap as it used to be.  Maybe I should look into an adult league...


10.  I'm Catholic and therefore possess a certain amount of good ol' fashioned catholic guilt...about my kids.  My oldest will soon be in first grade and that means Sunday School.  I haven't taken her to mass in ages. Gotta get better about this...or I'll go to hell...I just know it.  



Time to dole out the award to others.  I hate leaving people out and I usually cop out and say it's just too hard to choose but I decided not to be anti social and actually do it.  If you already have one of these awards, be glad that so many people find you adorable.  Definitely go check out these bloggers if you don't already...they rock (and yes, I'd even venture to say they're adorable).  
Dawnya at Evolution of a Black Butterfly
Lee Ann at Stealing Skinny
Rachel at Thin Within
Ms M at Fatscapades of Redhead Chick
Lisa at The Rest of My Life

OK...So I've got some NSV's to report...We did numbers before so let's go with bullets here:

• I found 3 pairs of shorts in my closet as I was moving.  They're all size 16 (bought long before vanity sizing).  They all fit, some are a little too big and I actually don't mind wearing them.  I didn't wear shorts AT ALL last year.  I live in AZ so that's quite an accomplishment.  My legs don't look terrible in them, in my opinion.
• My hubby told me the other day that he was looking at pics on my phone and found some older ones of me and he just can't believe how much thinner I look these days. Aaawwww...
• I was sitting on the couch and hubby noticed I had a cut on the bottom of my foot.  So I bent my leg back to look at it and he said "Could you always bend your leg like that?"  Umm...no I couldn't.  Thanks for reminding me.  LOL.
• I have gone up and down the stairs a gazillion times since moving in and I don't get winded and I don't even mind that much.
• I had to "run inside" to grab something I forgot the other day and I literally RAN.  And I could run, and I didn't feel like I was going to die...didn't even feel out of breath.  It was nice.
• I was playing in the pool with the kids this weekend.  Catching them and tossing them and didn't even get tired.  THIS is what getting the band was all about.

I'm Back! And I Weighed In...

Good morning to one and all!  It's going to take me FOREVER to catch up on everyone's blogs but I'm back and hopefully commenting today.

I did weigh in last Monday and today.  Last Monday saw 172.5...no difference from the two previous weeks.  Today saw 171.  So -1.5 from last week.  I'll definitely take it considering how I've been eating lately.

Hubby's surgery went fantastic!  Thank you all for your good thoughts.  He's not whining nearly as much as I was so that's really saying something.  The gas pain doesn't seem to bother him as much but his incisions do.  He's already hungry so that's a double edged sword.  On the one hand, it's good that he's hungry...means the swelling in his stomach has gone down.  Bad news is he's got 2 more weeks of liquids before moving on to mushies.  He's starving!

My dad is doing...OK.  The "procedure" went fine.  He had 3 blockages at his heart.  They put a stent in and did angioplasty.  They were able to clear 2 but 1 is 100% blocked and they couldn't clear it.  So that's no good.  They're trying medication to unblock it (not really sure how that works) and are looking at a bypass as a last resort.  He had a triple bypass back in 1995 and I guess once they do it once, they really hesitate to do it again.  He's doing OK right now though.

Between my hubby and my dad, moving, ATTEMPTING to unpack...I just haven't been eating and exercising the way I should.  I could list a bunch of excuses as to why I just COULDN'T get to the gym or I just COULDN'T cook healthy meals for me and the kids but it would just be BS.  The truth of it is...I made all these other things a higher priority than getting healthy.  I am only 1 lb away from my birthday goal and I have 20 days to get there.  I'm calling my surgeon's office this morning to schedule my long overdue fill as it is desperately needed and I'm back to cooking this week as well.  Breakfasts are a little dicey so I've got to plan that one out better.  Hopefully getting back to the gym this week as well.

Hope everyone had a great week in Blogland...I will be catching up this week...I promise.  And it wouldn't be Monday with our Monday DEMotivation (I just have no idea how you survived without it last week).