Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Band Appt - 10/30/14

I bit the bullet.  I scheduled an appointment with a new band doctor for 10/30/14.

I have been putting this off for quite some time and the reasons are entirely mental. So let's break these down.

  • My band was working fine 18 months ago.  It's not the restriction level, it's me.  Yes and No.  My restriction wasn't ideal when I left Phoenix either.  It was OK but not ideal.  I still had to white knuckle more than I should've had to.  I got lazy and tired of the band upkeep and it was easier to blame me than the band because obviously it's all my fault. *note the sarcasm...I realize how insane it sounds*
  • I don't want to be judged by the doctor and nurses about how much weight I've regained. I've heard some docs judge or use fills as reward/punishment.  My doctor never did that so I was scared to go find a new one that maybe would.  Hubby went to this new doc 6 months ago and told me how great he was.  I just didn't believe him.  So we'll see.
  • The lapband has failed.  I have failed.  There's not point in messing with it anymore. Did the lapband fail?  No.  I just stopped using it.  Have I failed?  Not yet.
  • What is there is something wrong with the band?  I don't want to face that. Best to face it head on than ignore it if there's a problem.  Logically, I know this but I just couldn't deal with more stress if that's the case.
So I made the appointment.  He's on vacation until October and then I'm travelling for work the week he has an open appt at the location I want so that pushed us into the end of October which is OK.  It gives me time to get all my records sent over.

I still haven't eaten out and I actually came in below allotted calories on My Fitness Pal yesterday.  I'm hitting the gym tonight.  Moving in the right direction.


Beth Ann said...

Hugs! We all have those fears, we just have to push through them. It is a life long struggle and any doctor that doesn't understand that shouldn't be in the business.

BandedIceGirl said...

I agree with Beth, we all fear that. I just had my first fill since having the band emptied in june and I was scared to see him, I have not had anything in my band in almost a year and I gained weight and I was so scared but he was so supportive and did not scold me like I thought he would. Hope this new doc will be as good as your last. And congrats on not eating out :)

JRD said...

Oh girl, I could have written this post! We are two peas in a pod! Glad you found a new doc, hope he is decent - keep us posted! And congrats on the cals - I'm logging every day, and even on the days I'm not quite under my cals, I am at least keeping myself accountable. That's a huge step in the right direction! Good job - hugs from me!

Rhonda said...

Can't wait to hear how you like the new doctor! About to pop over to see what this no-eating-out project is... me and my family need to try this!

Dinnerland said...

Good for you! It is OK to start over, I'm doing that!

Catherine55 said...

So glad you've made a solid plan! Sending hugs and best wishes!!