Where to start. We'll start at the gym. I went to the gym last night and was going to start my work out on the stair climber. It's one of the ones that look like this;
Me: "Self, I cannot believe I did that!"
Self: "Run! Get out of here as quickly as you can. You're such an idiot."
Me: "I don't understand how that happened. Can I not even step up on to a machine anymore? Have I gotten THAT fat and uncoordinated?
Self: "Yes you have. And everyone is staring. OMG. They're asking if you need ice. Answer them. Say no. Say SOMETHING."
I mumble no to the ice and wave away the very helpful hand of the guy next to me to heave myself up into a standing position.
Self: "Seriously, grab your keys, drive away and never come back. You can never come back here. Don't let your face turn red. Salvage your dignity woman!"
Me: "You just shut up."
So I got on the treadmill instead.
Needless to say, it was a rough workout and by the time I got home. I HURT. The whole left side of my body hurt and still hurts today.
So this morning, I'm supposed to have my new mattress delivered. They gave me the very specific window of 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. Fine. I'm going to be home all day anyway. I'm walking out of the house to walk the girls to the bus stop at 7:20 a.m. this morning when the truck is pulling up. Of course they're early. SIGH. But then...BAM!!! They ran over my mailbox!!!