Thursday, March 5, 2015

A New Journey?

My band was removed Monday, February 23rd.  Avery unceremonious way to end a 5 year journey.  I highly recommend if your band needs to be removed (and you're not revising the same day), try to find a doctor who can do it endoscopically.  Other than having a REALLY sore throat for a few days, no stitches, no incisions, no staples, no cutting.  I felt really good.  It's interesting to take a pill and not worry about it getting stuck.  It's weird to be able to drink carbonated beverages again.  I had my first beer in 4 years and it was GLORIOUS.  It's weird that it's gone and other than those little things, I don't feel any different.

Not unsurprisingly, I can eat anything and as much of it as I want.  And I am.  Despite my best efforts, I just can't seem to stay on track.  I need to bite the bullet and purge my house of any unhealthy food.  I need to FORCE myself to go the gym.  But going to the gym hurts.  It's hard on my knees, my lungs, my ankles, my arms and it hurts.  I remember it hurting.  I also remember it NOT hurting after a year of going religiously and taking 2 classes a night just because I wanted to challenge myself.  I remember it NOT hurting to walk miles and miles or even run a few of them.  I remember it NOT hurting to lift heavy things and lift my body weight on a rope.  I don't know what hurts most now…my pride or the joints.

I have decided to attempt to get insurance approval to a revision to a gastric sleeve.  I was unsure of how I felt about undergoing yet another weight loss surgery.  The lap band was my "last ditch effort" after everything else had failed and as invasive as I was willing to go.  And it failed.  I failed.  I think a part of me believed I didn't deserve another chance of getting help with this.  A part of me believed that I now needed to sink or swim on my own because even surgery couldn't help.  It was illogical, I realize that but I think I was punishing myself.  I'm done with that.  I need help.  I'm not saying I could never do it completely on my own but I remember how good it was having help.  I want help again.  My current insurance does cover a revision but I have to jump through all the same hoops as I had previously.  I have to do a psych eval, dietary evaluation (nutritionist) and a nutritional class to talk about preop/postop diets.  I have to prove my diet history and have all my records faxed over again.  Doc wants to let the stomach heal from the erosion for at least 4 months.  That gives me plenty of time to jump through the hoops.

I'm actually not holding out much hope that insurance will pay for it.  I had to fight like hell the first time and I don't think I have that much fight left in me but it's worth a shot.  I'm going to do all I can do.  It's a new and different journey.  But as long as I'm walking down a path, I'm going to hope it's the right one.


Amy W. said...

Isn't it so crazy how everyone is different with the band? It would kind of be a blessing if I couldn't drink carbonated beverages or beer! I would be a lot thinner! I have able to drink both the entire time.

And I can imagine your thought process on having another weight loss surgery, but you should shake that off. We have to find what works for us. Maybe that will be the sleeve for you. I hope so. Thanks for keeping us posted!


FritoBandito said...

This disease of obesity has many different fronts on which we try to fight it...our surgical tools are only one angle but they do for sure provide a significant advantage when they aren't causing problems.

I always had hoped I would get to a point where I wouldn't have to "think" about my food every day...but here I am, 4 years later...still thinking, and still battling this disease. We are here for you...and I support your decision to go for revision. Best wishes, love!

Darlin1 said...

I missed something...........Why did your band fail?....EROSION. What were the symptoms?

I wish you all the best getting your insurance to cover a revision. You have the fight in you ....and you are worth it!


Take very good care of yourself!

Manda said...

As someone who's had the band... and now 4 months post-op having it taken out and revised to the sleeve, let me tell you I understand all the guilt you feel of failing with the band. But I finally had to say, its okay to revise and that the band was not for me. I am happy I got my sleeve. Just keep pushing forward. You can do it!

I do have to say... thats cool that they could remove the band endoscopic-ally. said...

I have not missed my Band for a single minute. I had all of your guilt plus over failing with the Band. I'm hale I revised to the sleeve. It is actually less difficult than the band and you aren't hungry all the time. Don't lose faith. We are here for you. Tracey

Bonnie said...

I know exactly how you feel. But after hearing so many positive things about revision surgery, I decided to go for it and so should you!

Beth Ann said...

As strongly as I said at the beginning I wouldn't have another weightloss surgery if they band didn't work for me, 5 years in, now I know I would. At least I'm pretty sure. To be frank, this shit is hard and we have to use everything possible to make it happen.

We are here for you!!

Bonnie said...

Wanted to check in to see how you are doing. Are you still looking into the sleeve? My surgery is scheduled for May 1st. Excited and scared. Not telling anybody this time about the surgery. Don't want to be under a microscope again.

KajunDee said...

all of the previous posters have pretty much said what we all felt. We blamed ourselves for the band failure, I went through almost a year with an empty band which is basically not having one before i finished all the hoops for revision. My only advice is to blog, blog,blog....and track your calories and exercise to try to keep vigilant of our current weight. Easier said than done...i know.


adorkbl said...

Hey Amanda... Haven't read a blog in forever... Any told me you were on the same boat as Jen and me. I have another hiatal hernia and am hoping for approval to remove mine. It has been unfilled since Jan 2014 due to vomiting and GERD. I am hoping to revise to VSG after healing. Best of luck on your new journey! :)

adorkbl said...

Hey Amanda... Haven't read a blog in forever... Any told me you were on the same boat as Jen and me. I have another hiatal hernia and am hoping for approval to remove mine. It has been unfilled since Jan 2014 due to vomiting and GERD. I am hoping to revise to VSG after healing. Best of luck on your new journey! :)

Amanda Kiska said...

How are things going now?

I had my band repositioned on February 24th, the day after you had yours out. Unfortunately it has slipped AGAIN so I am going to have it removed. Since I have a normal BMI, I can't get insurance approval for a revision.

And I'm scared.

Please tell me how you're doing.