One Year Ago....

I was banded.

I was banded August 18th, 2010 at 8:00 a.m.  So how do I feel this year has gone?  Fantastic!  I have lost 62.5 lbs.  I admit I fantasized about being one of those people who hit goal in a year...I imagined my 130 lb self living it up at the beach this summer (Not only was the weight dream unrealistic but I live in the desert...duh!).  But am I disappointed with my progress?  Heck no!  I'm 60 lbs lighter than I was last year.  After gaining weight year after year after year...to be DOWN 60 lbs is just amazing!  Obviously, that means I averaged 5 lbs a month which is 1.25 lbs a week which is right in line where the stats say you'll fall.  I'm statistically normal for once.  I do not believe I would've accomplished what I have this year if it weren't for my lapband.  Yes, I make better food choices.  Yes, I exercise more than I ever did.  But this tool has made it so much easier to stay focused and not get discouraged.  Some more numbers:

                               2010                                                                   2011
Weight:                   230 lbs (104.3 kg)                                              166.5 lbs (75.5 kg)
BMI:                       44.9                                                                    32.5
Shirt Size:                2XL                                                                    Large/Tight Medium
Pants Size:               20/22                                                                  14/Tight 12
Ring Size:                10                                                                       7

Measurements:
Waist                      49.5                                                                    40      
Hips                        45                                                                       Forgot to measure - oops
Chest                      50.5                                                                    40
Thigh                       27.5                                                                    25.5
Calf                         18                                                                       15.5
Bicep                      16                                                                        13
Total Inches lost = 26.5

NSVs in the past year:

• I walked 60 miles in 3 days.
• I ran a 5k.
• I can tiptoe up the stairs without making them creak and moan.
• I feel sexy again.
• I need to have my wedding/engagement rings resized.
• I can shop at "normal" stores.
• I can RUN...not very fast but I can...
• I can dance without sweating profusely, without my feet getting sore or having to stop to rest.
• I get hit on...by guys...even younger ones.
• I've become more confident in my work and personal life.
• I wear dresses and skirts again!
• My "butt shelf" hasn't gone away...but it's a lot smaller...
• I went ziplining and had to weigh myself in public and didn't really care.
• I like to shop again (good for ego...bad for pocketbook. LOL)
• Hubby can actually lift me up without almost falling over.
• I can go up and down the stairs without getting winded.
• I can paint my toenails without passing out.
• I set goals now and usually attain them.  If I don't, I realize that it's not worth giving up...I just keep chugging along.
• I've gotten much better at FOLLOW THROUGH.  I'm becoming a person to actually finishes what they start.
• I can play around with my kids, splash with them in the pool and not feel completely wiped out.
• My kids know what healthy stuff is and what it isn't.  They want to exercise and get strong.  They drink mostly water as opposed to juice or milk and my oldest will actually opt for a salad over french fries.  I want to take some credit for that.
• I've met tons of wonderful friends and supporters through this site.
• Hubby has committed to getting healthy with me and is my biggest cheerleader.

They say a picture is worth a thousand word so without further ado...

Back to Zumba!

I zumba'd yesterday for the first time in months and it was great!  My husband's friend's wife (get that?) joined my gym a few months back but hasn't really gone much.  She likes to have someone to work out with and stay motivated.  For the last few months, she asked how I like the gym and how I stay motivated to go, how I work it into my schedule and whatever.  So she was at one of the birthday parties we went to last weekend and she mentioned how she hasn't gone to the gym in forever and if I'd be interested in working out with her.  "Sure!" I said.  Always happy to have a workout buddy.  So she emailed me yesterday to see if I wanted to Zumba last night.  "Sure!" I said.  OK.  I was a little nervous.  She's super skinny and I'm, well, as you know...I'm not.  So exercising with super skinny people intimidates me.  AND the Zumba class was at 8:00 which doesn't sound late to most people but to me, it's right when the girls go down and I'm off to bed right after them.  But I never used to work out at 4:00 in the morning either so what the hey?  So I went and this lady is just so nice.  She barely sweats which is a little unnerving as I'm dripping all over the place but at the end, she said it was a good workout and she'd love for us to keep eachother motivated.  I think I may have made a new friend and for anyone who's followed for any amount of time knows...that's unusual for me.

So I added 65 minutes to my exercise goal.  And yes, I count the cool down.  I mean..I'm stretching...that's exercise.  This lady worked us the full hour and then finally did the cool down, taking an extra 5.  If I'm sweating an extra 5, I'm counting it darnit!

While I'm still on the gym topic.  Let's talk workout clothes.  Each time I would start a new workout regimen, join a new gym, "commit to losing weight," etc. I would buy new workout clothes.  They had to fit just right, look OK and allow me to blend in with my surroundings.  It's like I was dressing for a role in a play.  And because I was always a different size every time I attempted to start working out, I'd have to go buy new stuff.  Duh!  I can't workout in just anything!  So last night, I'm changing into my gym stuff and I realize that this is the same gym stuff I had 60 lbs ago and it's starting to show.  The arm holes in my shirts are just huge and they're baggy.  The pants...well, thank goodness for drawstrings.  So I was thinking "I should get some new workout clothes...nah.  They're just workout clothes."  Isn't that funny?  When I'm fat and not really changing a lifestyle, I need to dress the part but when I have committed and am actually getting somewhere, I don't care.  Here's the epiphany (thanks for hanging with me until I got to the point):  Before...it was like I had to dress the part so people would think I belong there - at the gym.  Now, I don't feel I need to dress the part because I KNOW I belong there.  Very cool.

Hubby job news:  He had a prescreening interview yesterday with a big company and it went well...so we're hoping for an official interview sometime in the next week or so.  He has his third interview for the first job today.  And he has an interview for an even bigger company on Friday.  I'm attributing all these new opportunities to all of your good thoughts out there in the universe. Keep 'em coming!  If even one of these jobs pan out, it will make life just a little better for us.

Boring weekend ahead.  We've got "Meet the Teacher" at Maddie's school tonight.  Very exciting.  But the rest of the weekend is just cleaning, laundry and getting more organized around the house.  Exciting stuff.  So here's your Thursday Tickle:

I Think I'm Me Again

TGIT!  Thursdays for this week and next are my Fridays so I couldn't be happier to see Thursday get here.  Work has been annoying so I'm glad for these long weekends this summer.  Food choices were all good yesterday so I feel really good about that.  I also got all my water in with no extra snacking.  That's all good stuff.  I was reading through some of my old posts when I was still waiting to be banded and I found one where I talk about how I feel when I look in the mirror.  I've pasted it below.


There have been posts by just about everyone regarding how they see themselves when they look in the mirror.  Some say they just don't see the new skinny girl, they still see the old fat one.  Others, like Amykins, admits she had reverse body dysmorphic disorder in that she never saw herself as big as she was.  I don't have this problem.  Overall, I think I have a fairly realistic view of my body itself.  It's fat... I know this... I try not to swim in my clothes to hide it.  I know I'm not the biggest girl out there but I also know I'm not "fit."  What I never hear about is your face.  When I look in the mirror, the face I see just doesn't seem right.  There are no wrinkles (yet) so it's not an aging thing.  It just doesn't look like ME.  Does that make sense?  I'm not sure if it's because it's so puffy but when I really look at it, I don't recognize it.  I just can't figure it out.  I've never been particularly "thin" so I'm not sure if losing weight is going to make a difference.  I realize this doesn't make much sense but it's something that dawned on me over the weekend when I was washing my face.  I took a long look at myself in the mirror and thought "Really?  This is it?"  I guess I just didn't think that this is what I would look like when I grew up.  Ever happen to you


This post must've been on my mind this morning because when I was putting on my make up, I realized as I looked in the mirror....  I'M BACK!  The face staring back at me looked like my own.  It wasn't puffy or seemingly huge.  Still no wrinkles but the double chin is all but gone!  I can smile and my cheeks don't force my eyes practically shut (I'm always going to have a little bit of the chipmunk smile thing going on because I always have...runs in the family).  I looked in the mirror and saw the person I have been waiting to come back.  I wasn't sure if losing weight would do this because I wasn't sure if it was an aging thing or a weight thing.  I have my answer.  It was a weight thing because I look at my face now and it just FEELS right again.  I feel like I'm  looking at ME and not some stranger.  It could be due to the weight loss, it could be due to how much happier I am these days with me and my body and my soul all starting to finally get into harmony again.  Maybe all that's reflecting back at me but I can tell you this.  I missed her.  I'm so glad she's found her way back to me.  I just can't think of a better NSV than feeling like you're finally becoming the person you're supposed to be...inside and out.  Now...if we could do something about this stomach apron thing I have going on....


In other news, we're gearing up for school to start on August 8th.  My oldest is going into 1st grade!  Holy cow!  I mean...a grade with a number in front of it...that's like BIG KID stuff!  We need to do some supply hunting, meet the teacher is August 4th and we're starting to get both girls used to the idea of going to school again.  My youngest is in her last year (hopefully) of preschool this year.  They've both had the summer off and have been hanging out with my mom so it'll be readjustment for everyone.  For my youngest, I'm hoping she'll be "kindergarten ready" by next year.  They usually offer early kindergarten in our school district for kids who turn 5 between September and December.  They do an evaluation to see if they're ready.  I'm really hoping she'll be ready.  We have a lot of work to do this year to get her there.  But excitement's in the air and I'm feeling it too.  I'm ready to go back to my old schedule and get back in a gym groove.  


Since I won't be posting again until Monday, hope you all have a fabulous weekend and, of course, I leave you with a Thursday Tickle:

So Far A Better Week

I'm feeling pretty good about the food choices so far this week.  I chose NOT to use my Dairy Queen coupon last night and instead had an apple with Nutella.  Certainly a better choice.

I did go to the gym yesterday and broke a real sweat for 60 minutes.  Hitting my July goal is looking pretty daunting.  I only have 9 days left in the month and still haven't quite hit half way yet.  I know it's because I haven't been getting that third workout in every week which was critical to hitting the goal.  I have no plans this weekend so there's no reason I shouldn't be able to get that third workout in.   I may also need to kick it up a notch in the next 9 days and workout a little longer and maybe add a day here and there.  We'll see how it goes.  The bright side is I did the stair mill again and made it up 81 floors.  That's 2 up from last time. We'll call it progress.  I don't know what it is about that machine but I sweat like it's going out of style on that thing. I figure it has to be working.

I'm excited and nervous about my fill appointment on Friday.  In some ways, I've been able to eat as if I don't have a band at all (big bites, BREAD no problem, etc.).  I know the band isn't necessarily supposed to limit WHAT you eat or even HOW MUCH you eat, it's supposed to keep you satisfied longer.  Well, it isn't doing that either.  It seemed a couple months ago, I found it a lot easier to avoid the candy bowl and snacking.  Food was sort of a nonissue and now it's all I'm thinking about lately.  What am I going to eat at my next meal and how much longer is that again?  I'm also a little nervous that my doctor is going to be mad that I haven't lost anything since the last time I was there.  This is pretty unfounded as he's never been anything but supportive but I'm still kind of dreading it.

NSV:  So I tend to keep stuff FOREVER...specifically clothes.  They basically have to be either falling off me (at this point) to get rid of them or have holes or whatever.  As far as pajamas go, I've always preferred the oversized t-shirt approach.  It's warm enough long enough in Arizona that I don't usually have to have bottoms or something warmer.  Anyway, I have a nightshirt that I've had since I was 18 years old.  I was probably 19 the last time I wore it.  Since my preferred "jammies" were in the wash last night (and yes, I generally wear the same ones every night and make sure to wash during the day.  It's a lightweight football practice jersey I "borrowed" from Hubby when we first started dating and I've pretty much worn it every night since if I wear a shirt...moving on...).  So I grabbed this old nightshirt and it FIT!  Not quite as big as it used to be but definitely oversized and comfy for bed.  The shape's changed a bit but I do believe I'm approaching the size I was when I was 18...can you believe that?!?!

Your Thursday Tickle:

Weigh In, Birthday Surprise, NSV & Goals!

Yep...a lot going on in this post.

• First, my weigh in.  I did weigh in Monday morning (yes...on a holiday weekend) and I was at 168.  -1 lb from the week before.  I'll take it!
• My Birthday Surprise:  Hubby and I get up and get out of the house by 4:15.  We drive an hour into the town of Cave Creek and pull into a gas station parking lot that has a liquor store and Carl's Jr attached.  I ask my husband, "Please tell me we did not wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning and drive an hour to have Carl's Jr??"  He assured me that no, we did not.  This guy pulls up with a trailer and my husband goes over to talk to him.  Interesting.  I head on over and Hubby says the guy can go ahead and "show her."  Mmmmkay.  He opens the trailer and there's what appears to be a gocart inside.  I look at Hubby and look at this guy and say, "I don't get it."  The guy explains it's a powered parachute...basically a flying a gocart.  I still don't get it.  I see one seat and no parachute.  The guy assures me that the parachute is still in the bag which is sitting on the second seat.  Mmmmkay.  I'm having my doubts.  He drives us about 5 minutes into a state preserve park and we offroad a bit further in.  He then unloads it and starts explaining how it works.  I'll spare you the details but it turned out really cool!  We flew for about 30 minutes and he even let me steer for awhile.  We reached an altitude of about 1000 feet and then went lower into a wash to see some wildlife.  We also saw about a dozen hot air balloons taking off that morning so we flew over there to say hello and all the people in the baskets waved to us.  It was VERY COOL!  So here are some pics:

This is the "aircraft", you could seriously lift this up by yourself, it's so light.

This is me looking like a doof with my helmet and headset.

HUGE NSV here...Last summer, there's no way that guy would've fit there and I'm
 sure there's some kind of weight limit on this thing.

Ready to take off

Here we go!

And we're off!

Back on solid ground

• NSV:  I went to the gym on Friday.  I worked harder than I have worked in MONTHS.  I ran/walked two miles and then did a half hour of weight training.  But that's not the NSV.  The NSV is that I wore shorts to the gym which has NEVER happened but I also felt confident and not like a total cow in them which also has NEVER happened.  I even snapped a pic before I left the house for your viewing pleasure (please ignore the dirty bathroom). 

• Goals...I have set a new goal for myself for the month of July.  I couldn't get my stuff together to join the BOOBS challenge so I created one for myself involving exercise.  800 minutes of exercise in the month of July.  If I exercise just over an hour 3 times a week, I'll hit it.  Since going more than once a week has been difficult, this seems like a realistic goal for me at this time.  I've added a ticker at the top of my blog to show how serious I am about this.  I have to be serious about this because if you look on the right side of my blog, you'll see another ticker.  A countdown to my Mud Run in September.  I have just over 2 months to get ready for it so I need to get crackin'!
• In other news, I had a great holiday weekend.  Ran some errands on Friday, had my Birthday surprise Saturday.  I went shopping with the family on Sunday because my oldest desperately needed new clothes.  We saw a good fireworks display on Sunday night and then spent Monday at my parents' house for a BBQ.  A few of my parents' friends were there along with my brother and his family.  My brother and I haven't been getting along tremendously well the last year or so but the day went by without incident so all was well.  I ate way too much because it was all so delicious but got back on the healthy food wagon yesterday.  Today is my first trip to the gym as part of my challenge so off to a good start.  I also spent over $100 in groceries for the week so cooking at home is also in the plan.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week!

No Pics Yet, 1 NSV and Motivation

First, thank you all for your birthday wishes Monday.  I'm taking 30 pretty well I think...so far.  I'm a little freaked as it seems I'm officially supposed to be a grown up or something now but I guess I'll get over that.

Second, because my laptop is a giant piece of %&!* and I'm ready to throw it out the f$%#ing window being difficult, I still do not have pictures to share.  I'm going to keep working on it tonight and see if I can figure it out.

NSV:  I was looking for a pair of jeans to wear to work today and, while it's a good problem to have, it's a little frustrating because they all look so baggy and unflattering.  So I pulled a pair out from the bottom of the stack and tried them on.  They're a pair my mother gave me YEARS ago and they have never fit.  I could never even button them.  Well, ladies and gents...they fit!  And they fit pretty well...a little baggy in the butt and I'm not thrilled with the style but right now they look better than any other pair in my closet.  Good stuff.

I didn't go the gym yesterday.  I have no good excuse other than to say I just wasn't feeling it.  I haven't slept well at all in the last 2 days (stress of turning 30?) as in I'm waking up every hour or two, not falling right back to sleep.  So annoying.  So I didn't go to the gym.  I know I NEED to work out.  I NEED to be active and when it's 115 out, the gym is really the only option there without dying of heat stroke.  Yes, I see perky young people out jogging in their spandex and sports bras but let's be honest...that ain't happenin' with this body (at least not yet).  On a slightly unrelated note, does anyone know anything about eye twitches?  Mine has been twitching for two weeks straight and it's starting to drive me crazy!

I also cleaned out my purse yesterday and found my weigh in information for my last appointment with the doc.  I have only lost 1 lb since then and it's an iffy pound if that.  I have determined the "easy" part of this journey has ended...the "I don't have to work TOO hard to lose weight" part...the "I can still pretty much eat crap all week and lose weight because I'm eating so much less" part... the "I don't HAVE to work out to lose weight but it's nice to be healthier" part.  I am now entering the "I must eat healthier stuff and exercise regularly if I want to lose another pound" part.  I am OK with this..knew the day would come.  I was hoping I'd be a little lower on the scale when it did but I wasn't expecting the band to do all the work for me.  And it really hasn't.  In the last 10 months, I've tried to make better choices and be more physically active.  The last month though has just sucked on the motivation front.  For whatever reason, life got in the way and I'm having a hard time pulling out of it.  I'm having a hard time getting back to where I need to be.  Those 30 things I listed on Monday are great but they're not good enough.  It's not all I wanted out of this.  I didn't just want to lose 60 lbs...I want to hit my goal.  I want to lose at least 30 more and I can't just sit by waiting for the Weight Loss Fairy to come by, wave her magic wand and give that to me.

So there you go...hopefully a more motivated me is on the horizon.  I know I need to just suck it up and get it done but for some reason, getting my mind and my body on the same page is a bit of a challenge.

I'd like to give a shout out to a few people who have surgery dates scheduled.  Let's all send good losin' vibes to them as well as they enter Pre-op Land.  Lisa, Kristina, Little Red Riding Hood and Lee Ann - Good luck to you!  If you have a date scheduled or are a newer blogger and I'm either a) not following you or b) just missed you on the list, please leave a link to your blog in a comment.  I try to follow everyone who follows me.  Have a great Hump Day everybody!

Adorable Blogger Award & NSV's

Very special thanks to Patrick for giving me the Adorable Blogger Award.

Rules of the Award
*Thank the person who gave you this award, and link back to them in your post.
*Tell us 10 things about yourself.
*Nominate your bloggers.
*Contact these bloggers, and let them know they received this award.

Ten things about me.  Hmmm...After blogging so much, there cant' be much you don't already know but I'll give it a shot...

1.  One of my favorite movies when I'm feeling down is Robin Hood: Men in Tights.  Always makes me laugh.  I'm pretty sure my hubby almost didn't marry me because of this.

2.  I actually enjoy brussel sprouts - saute them, roast them, steam them, fry them...serve them with cheese, serve them with butter, serve them plain.  I would eat them with a goat and I would eat them in a boat...


3.  I'm a dog person yet don't own one.


4.  I worked at a grocery store as a bagger (ahem...courtesy clerk) when I was in high school and still bag my own groceries to this day (assuming no one else is around to do it...and to be honest, I'd rather just do it myself so the bags don't rip and my bread doesn't get smashed...).

5.  I no longer recycle...the new place doesn't have a bin.  I think that's weird.


6.  I never really liked recycling.  I did it because it's the right thing to do but it seems like my hubby (and he knows this is true) would leave plastic bottles everywhere even once the bin was full and then yell at me when I just threw it away.  I'm sorry but there are too many rules to recycling about what kind bottles and what kind of papers and what the number says on the bottom.  Guess I'm glad I can't recycle.  I counted this as 2 because well...there are two separate points here, I swear.


7.  I once had a bicycle towed.  I got it back

8.  I played softball when I was younger and I KICKED ASS.  Seriously, I did.  I was good.  *sigh*  I miss that.


9.  I also bowled as a kid..like in a league and in tournaments and stuff.  I won all kinds of trophies.  I haven't been bowling in ages...not as cheap as it used to be.  Maybe I should look into an adult league...


10.  I'm Catholic and therefore possess a certain amount of good ol' fashioned catholic guilt...about my kids.  My oldest will soon be in first grade and that means Sunday School.  I haven't taken her to mass in ages. Gotta get better about this...or I'll go to hell...I just know it.  



Time to dole out the award to others.  I hate leaving people out and I usually cop out and say it's just too hard to choose but I decided not to be anti social and actually do it.  If you already have one of these awards, be glad that so many people find you adorable.  Definitely go check out these bloggers if you don't already...they rock (and yes, I'd even venture to say they're adorable).  
Dawnya at Evolution of a Black Butterfly
Lee Ann at Stealing Skinny
Rachel at Thin Within
Ms M at Fatscapades of Redhead Chick
Lisa at The Rest of My Life

OK...So I've got some NSV's to report...We did numbers before so let's go with bullets here:

• I found 3 pairs of shorts in my closet as I was moving.  They're all size 16 (bought long before vanity sizing).  They all fit, some are a little too big and I actually don't mind wearing them.  I didn't wear shorts AT ALL last year.  I live in AZ so that's quite an accomplishment.  My legs don't look terrible in them, in my opinion.
• My hubby told me the other day that he was looking at pics on my phone and found some older ones of me and he just can't believe how much thinner I look these days. Aaawwww...
• I was sitting on the couch and hubby noticed I had a cut on the bottom of my foot.  So I bent my leg back to look at it and he said "Could you always bend your leg like that?"  Umm...no I couldn't.  Thanks for reminding me.  LOL.
• I have gone up and down the stairs a gazillion times since moving in and I don't get winded and I don't even mind that much.
• I had to "run inside" to grab something I forgot the other day and I literally RAN.  And I could run, and I didn't feel like I was going to die...didn't even feel out of breath.  It was nice.
• I was playing in the pool with the kids this weekend.  Catching them and tossing them and didn't even get tired.  THIS is what getting the band was all about.

Similar to a Treadmill...

The last couple weeks has been like being on a treadmill.  Bear with me here.  Prior to joining my gym, I hated treadmills.  You walk and walk and walk and don't get anywhere.  There's nothing to look at, nothing to get excited about.  If I were going to walk, I'd much rather GO on a walk...outside...with stuff to look at.  Well, the last week and a half...this is my life in the weight loss sphere.  With all the physical stuff that goes with moving, you also get all the "I'm too tired to cook," "I've packed up all my pots and pans," and the "Between work and packing, let's just pick up something quick" syndrome.  At least this week we're eating at home but it's all prepackaged stuff loaded with extra calories, fat and sodium which doesn't work well for the scale.  I know I'm one of those people that says there's really no excuse for not making at least BETTER choices but alas, that's not what's happening here.  The good news?  I don't think I'm gaining.  I lost 1/2 lb last week when I was sure I was going to gain.  My guess for this week is the loss will be stagnant by Monday.  Side note here:  I love treadmills at my gym...because each one has it's own TV and I found that the E! Channel with all its trashiness really makes time zoom by.  Maybe it's more like a hamster wheel....

And since my life completely consumed by moving, I don't have much to report on anything else.  I did have a NSV the other night.  My hubby lifted me up...not only lifted me up but actually carried me somewhere.  I seriously think it's been like 10 years since he's been able to do that.  He even said "Wow.  You're LITTLE!"  Yay for little!

As part of the "Panda's Coming Out of Her Shell" series, I'm having lunch with a woman today that I have met only once, pretty briefly, in a room full of a bunch of other people I was meeting (so, for the life of me, I don't remember what she looks like).  She is my husband's coworker's girlfriend.  That's right.  My hubby and his friend have set us up on a blind date...kind of.  We think she's my age and she actually works in the building right next door so she emailed me, invited me to lunch and I said yes.  We're going to a restaurant I've never been before (eek! Incidentally, this was never an issue before I was banded but I worry a little bit about it now) and I'm going to have to make conversation with someone I know virtually nothing about for about an hour.  To most people, this probably doesn't sound like a big deal...For others like Draz...it'd be a hive-inducing fiasco...I fall somewhere in the middle.  I'm a little nervous...I don't want it to be awkward and I want to make a good impression.  I wouldn't want her going home and telling her boyfriend about the freak Ron's married to and then have that guy have to go work with my hubby knowing that he's married to a freak.  Can we say awkward?  But, but, but she seemed really nice when I first met her (if I remember her correctly) and how bad can an hour be...really?

So that is the dullness that is my life.  To get off on a positive note...how about a Hump Day Happy Thought?

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.

- Barbara de Angelis

And one small reminder from our dear friend Julia Child...

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health.

- Julia Child



Challenge Accepted!

One thing I've learned about myself in the last month is that unless I'm training FOR something, I can't get my butt to the gym.  It just ain't happenin'.  So I set off last week in search of something to train for.  There are several 10K's in the Fall that I will consider; however, the running just isn't as motivating to me as it was before the 5K.  So I've also chosen to participate in the New Times Dirty Six Mud Run 2 on September 24th!  The link with more info is here.  A basic run down (cut & pasted from the site):
Course Description


Both 3 mile and 6 mile runs are riddled with obstacles from start to finish. Each distance starts and finishes at Rawhide Wild West Town. Participants must successfully complete water and mud obstacles. They're not tough but don’t wear anything you can't wash and clean after. You’ll encounter a wall of water, two river crossings, a down and dirty mud crawl, obstacle course, a slippery mountain climb, GIANT slip n slides and of course a dip in our HUGE mud pit on your way to the finish!

I'm not sure yet if I want to do the 3 miles or the 6 miles but it sounds like a lot of fun and something I certainly wouldn't have attempted 50 lbs ago.  To be honest, I'm not keen on doing it now but I think by September, I'll be in even better shape and should be able to get through it.  I'm thinking this will encourage me to keep running but I'll also have to add some strength training and eventually a few boot camps too.  All of this to lead up to this monster of a run next year:

The Warrior Dash

This insane little run is 3.4 miles with 12 different obstacles that definitely look challenging.  Unlike the mud run, it has more of an urban feel.  Looks fun though!  I missed it for this year, but again, not in good enough shape yet anyway.  The Mud Run will be a good practice run for this one.

So there you have it.  Challenge Extended...Challenge Accepted (a la How I Met Your Mother for any fans out there).

NSV:  I wore a dress to work yesterday.  An actual honest-to-God dress...and I wore it...wait for it...Spanx-less!  And I didn't feel self conscious a bit.  Truly a personal victory.  The beauty..it was an old dress.  I haven't worn it in years and it's even a touch big.   Wahoo!

I have a call into a realtor hoping to get a chance to go look at some rentals this week.  No offense to anyone who is one, but realtors drive me crazy.  I went through this last time looking for a rental.  I realize they don't make much (if any) money off these but come on!  At least return phone calls!  Even when I call the realtor who has the actual listing, they don't call me back.  If I were a landlord, it would tick me off knowing that perfectly good renters are trying to see my house but my realtor won't call them back.  *sigh*  Oh well.  We gave notice to our old landlord and he's going to write us a letter of recommendation.  I'm hoping that helps on the whole credit check front.  I know I'll obsess over this until we find a place, have our application accepted and have paid a deposit.  If only I could obsess about going to the gym like this. 

It is hump day...thank goodness.  So how about a Hump Day Happy Thought:

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison



Weigh In 4/25/11

Weigh In. 174.5.  -2 from last week.  Certainly can't complain about the steady losses, can I?  I still feel guilty that I haven't made it to the gym but then again, apparently not guilty enough to pack my gym bag this morning and make it there tonight.  I expect this to be a lot easier when we move closer to the gym but it's really just an excuse and I recognize that.  My goal in the next two days (before Wednesday, my next normal workout day) is to find my next challenge.

You may also notice that I'm only 4 lbs away from my birthday goal.  I set a goal to lose 18 lbs by my birthday (June 27th).  I'm not changing this goal just because I should hit it with ease.  I'm just going to be very proud of myself if I hit it early.  LOL.  IF I ever make it back to the gym, this shouldn't be a problem.

Easter was nice and mellow this year.  It was just the four of us, no extended family came over.  We didn't even have our traditional ham dinner.  We had filet mignon instead with arancini (I'll provide a recipe for this at some point - delicious!), mashed potatoes and deviled eggs.  Delightful!  My band was super tight on Saturday...couldn't eat breakfast, lunch or even soup that I attempted at dinner.  I think my morning PB aggravated everything and made the rest of the day a wash.  By Sunday, I was able to eat 1/4 blueberry muffin, some chips with dip and a few bites of everything at dinner.  I must learn to take it easier after PB episodes.  I think that's why Saturday was so bad...I'm not babying my band enough after I struggle.  Anyway, Easter pictures should be posted sometime this week.

NSV!  I went shopping over the weekend.  No Amanda, I still have not bought a belt.  Maybe next time...I know, I know...I'm a wuss.  What I did buy was pants...desperately needed work pants.  My BFF and I went to Kohl's and I found 3 pairs...all size 14's!  It was a little frustrating because I had no idea what size I was in the first place but it seemed sometimes the 14's fit fine and other times they were too tight but 16's still seemed too loose.  I realize this is just difference in design and fit and even skinny people have to put up with that but it caused me to have to try on 2 of everything.  They're also all way too long.  Man, I'm short!  I mean, I've always known I'm short but jeezaloo!  Luckily my mom can hem them for me so I don't step on them.  I don't care about having them shortened though.  I was able to walk into a normal store and buy clothes.  Not even their biggest size and I didn't need to look for the "Women's" sizes and it was no worry that they would have something that fit me.  It might not look great but it would fit.  I've hated shopping for so long and would put off buying anything new if I could possibly help it.  Money is always an issue (Thanks for the support on that, btw) but maybe a part of me figured there was no point in shopping all day when I wasn't going to feel good in whatever I bought anyway.  This was definitely not the case Saturday.  I even bought 3 tops (1 from Kohl's and 2 from Ross), all in a size Large.  I haven't been a size medium since I was 12 due to linebacker shoulders so I don't know if I'll ever be smaller than a large but I'm A-OK with that because guess what...every store sells large tops, not just fat girl stores! A VERY rewarding shopping trip.  Of course, my hubby is probably scared that enjoying shopping is going to lead to spending too much money shopping and maybe he should be worried.  I could definitely get used to it!

 So a good weekend altogether.  It's like a calm before the storm.  May is going to be super busy trying to find a place to rent, pack, move, my oldest finishing up the school year and then Hubby's surgery at the end.  I'm hoping I don't allow the stress of all that and the extra effort needed to get all that done derail any weight loss efforts.  Look for a post Wednesday about my new challenge.  Until then, your Monday DEMotivator:

NSV's & Other Random Stuff

So I made it back from Vegas on Wednesday and here it is Friday.  Not a bad workweek.  I'm feeling pretty random today.  In light of trying to think positively and putting good vibes out into the universe, this is my "Why I'm Grateful I've Lost 50 Lbs Post" and other random musings...bullet style.

• Vegas was fantastic!  We had a great time and it was so good to see my sister and her hubby.  He's holding up quite well, all things considered and can still drink me under the table.  I got lots of compliments on my weight loss (they hadn't seen me since September) so that's always nice.  We had a heck of a roll at the Craps tables this trip but the coolest thing we did was go ziplining!  They have a zipline that goes right up the middle of the Fremont Street Experience.  It was such an adrenaline rush!  When you go to pay for it, you sign a waiver and they weigh you.  I never thought twice about it.  Stepped up on that scale and, not only did it never cross my mind that I would be too heavy but I never thought twice about weighing in front of people either.  HUGE NSV!  Then we got the harness on and not even a moment's doubt that it would fit.  I probably never would've done it 50 lbs ago because of these things so I was so stoked how much has changed!
• I've gone from a Size 20 to a 16 (Old Navy 14 - can I get a woot! woot!)
• I went through a good bit of hair loss a few months back but that's pretty much stopped and it's coming in healthier than ever.  I don't have nearly the same level of frizziness that I used to.
• Since being banded, I have walked 60 miles in 3 days and have run my first 5k.  Both very cool experiences!
• I've started taking the stairs at work...4 flights up sometimes.  I still feel like I'm going to die but now I know I won't.
• I'm feeling sexier and that's translating to a happier hubby (that's all I'll say about that).
• I'm getting noticed by 22 year olds again (assuming I'm not driving my minivan and have my 2 kids in tow)
• I can walk all over zoos, parks and mountains with my kids and still feel pretty good when we're all done.  Keeping up with them is the best!
• Tailbone is essentially pain free (struggled with tailbone pain for about 2 years prior to lap band surgery... no one could figure out why).
• I have more confidence not only in social situations but my professional life as well.  I'm definitely breaking out of my shell.

In other news...

• Hubby's insurance approval came through!!!  His lap band surgery date is tentatively set for May 31st.  Just waiting on confirmation.  We're so excited!  He's nervous but I think he's excited too.  It's been a long time coming.  LET'S DO THIS!
• I have my ultrasound on my gallbladder on Tuesday.  Scheduling has been a pain and couldn't get it done sooner than that.  The pain comes and goes.  It was bad last night but feeling better this morning.  I don't know.  I just hope they can identify the problem and fix it.  Not feeling well makes me grumpy.

So that's what I got for today.  All in all, feeling good about where I'm at.  This week is a wash between Vegas, liquid calories and no working out but if I gain, there's certainly no question as to why.  Of course, it wouldn't be Friday without a Friday Funny....

I Did It!

I did it!  I ran my first 5k this weekend!  I was aiming for finishing the 5k in 45 minutes... I finished in 40:35!  I picked the right race for attitude...it was a fun run and only a few serious runners signed up.  I may have picked the wrong one for terrain as it was fairly hilly and at one point turns into a desert course that is entirely uphill, so I wasn't able to run the whole thing.  I walked up the steeper hills but tried to run the most I could.  I finished almost a full 5 minutes faster than the goal I had set for myself and I didn't even finish last!  It was such a feeling of accomplishment crossing that finish line.  Overall I even felt pretty good the rest of the day and the day after.  My ankles are a little sore and so is my back.  I think that's the difference in impact on pavement/dirt as opposed to the treadmill.  I also didn't stretch after which I think made a huge difference.  I've been religious about my stretching which has seemed to ward off the soreness.  Lesson learned for next time.  Outside of the running itself, there was a smaller NSV hidden in there.  I got a free tshirt for the run and I picked a size large (would normally never go below an XL for something like this) and it was a little too big.  I probably should've gotten a medium but I wouldn't have felt comfortable in it.  Can you believe that? A medium!

Me with my first race number ever.

Action Shot

Red Faced Finish Line Picture

Of course the girls had to offer their moral support so they joined me in the foot massager after.

Yesterday was Weigh In Day, of course.  181.5.  -3 lbs since last week!  I had felt I had made better choices throughout the week than I had previously but I wasn't expecting a huge drop.  So happy the scale is cooperating!

Weekend was pretty good.  Friday night, we went to my oldest daughter's family dance at school.  It was some music and a bunch of kids jumping around but it was fun.  It was only an hour and a half out of our lives so not so bad.  I told my husband as we were leaving that we should enjoy it while we can because the day will come when she not only doesn't want us to go to a dance with her but she'll want to go with a...gulp... BOY. 

Saturday, we did the 5k in the morning and then I went out shopping for a new outfit to reward myself.  All my stuff is hanging on me so I decided to try to find something that actually fit.  I was bummed when I went to Target and all their size 16 stuff fit but looked terrible.  So based on what I've read on these blogs, I headed to Old Navy.  I have NEVER shopped there because I wasn't aware of the vanity sizing until I started reading blogs.  Well, now that's the ONLY place I'll shop.  It's soooo good for the ego.  LOL.  At Old Navy, I'm a size 14!  Yes, you read that right, a size 14!  Talk about vanity sizing!  But I don't care.  I found a pair of denim capris and a tshirt I liked and they were both on sale.  My new favorite-ist store EVER!

Then we went to my hubby's friend's house so the girls could play with their daughters.  We had a good time and stayed until around 9.  This is part of my "Get Social" effort and it went well. 

Sunday, we went to a Spring Training game and had lots of fun.  I ate way too much including a hotdog, nachos, popcorn and yes...SODA!  I haven't really had soda since being banded and it tasted soooo good.  I felt like such a pig though.  I should probably also say that my daughter probably ate 1/4 of my hotdog and the popcorn and nachos were shared by the entire family.  As for the soda, I had maybe 6 sips the entire day.  I also skipped dinner.  So calorie wise, I think everything evened out.

Also, I wanted to give you all an update on the issues I've been having with my mom.  Either she reads my blog (If so, hi mom) or it's just interesting timing but she's made a few comments about my weight loss lately and even went so far as to buy me new bras since I was complaining about the old ones not fitting as well.  She also commented on how I need to buy some more stuff since everything is just hanging off of me.  She's right and that's partly why I went shopping over the weekend.  It's just one outfit but it's a start and it does feel nice wearing clothes that fit.  It was also really nice to get the compliments from her and know the effort hasn't gone unnoticed. 

That was my weekend in a nutshell.  I want to thank everyone for the well wishes on my first 5k.  As I was running, I could hear you all cheering me on in my head and it definitely makes a difference.  Even though it's Tuesday, I leave you with a Belated Monday DEMotivator (I was apparently so demotivated, I couldn't get this posted yesterday):

Post 2 - NSV & Liars

First, the NSV's because the second NSV leads into the "Liar, Liar..Pants on Fire" post.

1. I went to the gym yesterday to do my 5k training.  I really pushed myself to go faster and actually all out RUN.  It didn't work.  I only made it 2.5 miles before I just had to stop.  Why is this an NSV?  Because a) I made it 2.5 miles in 33 minutes.  And b) I decided that I would do strength training instead of just calling it a day.  So I went and started using some of the weight machines and promptly felt like I was going to vomit.  I decided that I pushed myself too hard and it was time to go.  But then I decided it would be a bad idea to stop without stretching because then I might be sore and it might carry over to my 5k on Saturday so I went back and did the stretching machine (sounds like a torture device but I love it!).  Then I went home.  Now, the old me would've felt like a failure because not only did I NOT complete my 5k yesterday but I also didn't do the strength training like I wanted.  The new me says "Amanda...you made it 2.5 miles pretty quickly and you tried your hardest to keep working out.  And you're actually disappointed that you couldn't keep going.  You're growing!"  And I'm absolutely right about that.
2. My BFF who was going to do the 5k with me has decided not to.  I'm still doing it.  It's the first event like this I've entered by myself but I'm going to follow through - that's a big mental victory.
3. A colleague at work asked me how I'm becoming the "incredible shrinking woman."  Me?  Shrinking?  You betcha.  Thanks for noticing.

So why am I liar?  Because that colleague asked how I was doing it.  Now, I'm not open about the whole band thing to most people.  Some of my friends and family know, 127 of you out in Blogland know, but only 2 people from work know:  My boss who is ubersupportive and a friend who I knew wouldn't tell anyone.  I've known this particular colleague for several years and we've discussed child rearing stuff and what not but I'm not really sure how she is with the whole gossip thing.  But I always thought that I wouldn't lie if people asked me straight up.  I thought that once I started losing the weight, I'd be open about it, especially to people I thought might benefit from the band and knowing how it works.  This woman would definitely benefit.  But before I knew what was happening, my mouth was saying "I've cut my portions in half and am working out 3-4 times a week."  That's my standard answer for busy bodies who I know would spread the word.  Now, this isn't a lie.  I have done both of those things but I'm not being entirely forthcoming, am I?  I think the reason I feel guilty about this one (as opposed to others) is that this colleague knows my BFF lost over 100 lbs and now I'm losing weight, I can't help but feel that perhaps she's thinking "Why can they do it but I can't seem to?"  After I provided that standard answer, she said "Of course that would work but HOW can you STICK to it?"  I didn't really know how to answer.  This was a little too specific for me.  The truth is, I have a little bit of a cheat, ya know?  Now, I've answered other bloggers a thousand times over that it's no one's business about their surgery and they shouldn't feel guilty by using an answer similar to mine.  They're not lying, they're just not divulging a very personal decision.  I know, I know, but I just feel guilty about this one.

The other question she asked is what prompted me to start trying to lose weight.  Like there must be some kind of trigger or "defining moment" that inspired me to really commit to it this time.  We talked about my BFF.  Hers is kind of funny.  She and her hubby had a deal that she would lose 50 lbs and he would quit smoking in a set amount of time and they would reward themselves with a Sleep Number Bed.  It worked.  They both did those things but once my friend hit 50 lbs, she felt so much better, she kept going.  Was a Sleep Number bed really what inspired her to lose weight?  Probably not, it was a way to reward herself and STAY motivated.  I realized I didn't have an answer for my colleague.  I don't know why this is the time I decided to commit.  I don't know why I decided that I was committed enough to have surgery and stick to a program.  I suppose there are lots of reasons.  I'm approaching 30...I know that doesn't sound old to most people but it seems old to me.  LOL.  I don't want to waste my life being fat.  Also, when I last visited my sister, someone asked which of us was older.  She's 8 years older for goodness sake!  I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of their fat mom.  If I really think about it, maybe the exact moment I had enough was when I took a trip with my husband (can't remember where) and it was the first time I needed a seat belt extender.  I fought back tears the entire flight.  I remember feeling humiliated and disgusted with myself.  So I guess that was my "trigger."  That was way too personal to get into with a colleague but it definitely gave me food for thought. 

So my questions for you today bloggers...

If banded and you're not open about your band, do you ever feel guilty answering the "how" question?

Banded or not, what was your "defining moment" that inspired you to truly commit?

NSV At 4:30 A.M.

So I couldn't decide what to wear this morning.  Here it is 4:30 in the morning, I've only got a half hour to get ready for work and I'm standing in my closet at a complete loss.  Nothing I had was striking me as something that would get me through the day.  So I had this little conversation with myself:

Me: Self, if I have to wear those black or gray pants one more time...I'm gonna shoot myself in the effin' head.
Self: So wear a skirt.  You never wear skirts anymore. You used to always wear skirts.  For the first year you dated your husband, he only saw you in skirts.
Me: Seriously, you're going to start this now.  You know none of my skirts fit.
Self: When was the last time you tried one on?
Me: (scratching my head in wonder)  I don't know....
Self:  What are you...chicken? 
Me:  Really?
Self:  Bock, Bock, Bock (walking around in my head in classic chicken pecking posture)...  Well, you better go find your pants then.  Clock's atickin'
Me:  *sigh*  Argh!  Fine!

And so I tried one on, size 16...a skirt that even when I did wear it, it was with Spanx or some equally restricting-had-to-be-invented-by-a-male-thinning device.  And IT FIT....And no Spanx required....AND it's even a little big.    Then came the issue of finding a shirt...I did.  A cute little black one that I haven't worn in FOREVER because it shows off my back fat.  Not anymore (at least in my sleepy stupor this morning - I'm sure when I look in the restroom mirror at work, I'll notice the back fat again).  I'm sure I'll get the whole "Why are you so dressed up today?" lines at work today and I hate answering things like that because it makes me feel like I dress like a slob the rest of the time, but I don't care because, Lord help me, I'm wearing a size 16 skirt and it's a little too big!

So I've decided I'm going to post progress pics when I get 50 lbs down.  Only 7 to go... so y'all will just have to wait.  LOL.  My NSV almost made me forget about this horrible sinus headache I've had since yesterday but now that I'm work, I'm reminded and almost nauseous from it.  Ugh.  I just took something...hopefully it'll go away (then again, I took something last night too but it didn't help).  It can't last forever.  Hope you're all having a good Tuesday.

What NSV's have you experienced lately?

Weigh In 2/28/11, NSV & Stuck Support

Weigh In: 187.0.  -1.5 lbs down for the week.  Not too shabby.  I'm pretty happy with this.  It seems whenever I get myself back to gym, my weight loss stalls but it didn't this week.  I made it to the gym 4 times - 3 for jogging and 1 zumba class.  Hopefully I can keep it up.

NSV's:

1. I did 3.1 miles (a 5k) on the treadmill in 48:40.  I jogged for 18 minutes straight...that was my longest streak without walking.  My shortest was 5 minutes and I never walked for more than 2 1/2 minutes at a time.  Overall, I'm very proud of me.  Keep in mind...my pace is pretty slow but I think that's bound to improve over time.
2. A sports bra that has never fit me snapped in the back just fine.  On the one hand, that means my ladies are getting smaller.  On the other hand, it also means the length around my chest is smaller too and I'm losing some of my back fat.  Shrinking, no matter where it is, is gonna have to be a good thing.





Best Supporting Actor in  Stuck Situation:

In honor of the Oscars last night, I'd like to give an award of my own.  The Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in a Stuck Situation goes to...my hubby.  We were visiting with some friends of his on Saturday.  We took our girls and their girls to this indoor amusement place and then went to their house for the rest of the evening.  Something to note here:  none of his friends know I'm banded and while there are some I wouldn't mind if they knew, these aren't those people.  The wives of this group are extremely catty and judgmental.  They also do a lot of talking behind the other women's backs so I REALLY don't want them to know about the band.  We got some fast food for dinner which for me consisted of a tuna melt and fries.  3 bites into the tuna melt and I was sufficiently stuck and had to dash to the bathroom to deal with it.  This bathroom shares a wall with the eat in kitchen.  While in there, I realized if I can hear them...what if they can hear me?  Uh oh.  Luckily, I had my hubby who caught on fairly quickly to what was going on.  He started rambling on to them about a vacation we took, never letting a moment of silence set in.  If that wasn't awesome enough, later his friend made a comment about how I wasn't eating much and kept asking if I didn't like it, my hubby jumped in and said "It always takes her forever to eat and she doesn't really eat much all at once."  His friend seemed to accept this just fine and even said "They say that's better for your system."  Whew...thanks honey.  And this leads me to why it's so important to have a good support system if you decide to get banded.  Yes, it's good to have the emotional support and someone to lean on through the rough times, blah, blah, blah.  But sometimes you just need someone who can think on their feet and make stuff up to take the attention off of you.  So kudos for my hubby on helping me out this weekend. 

Who has been your best supporting player throughout your weight loss efforts?

So there you have it.  My weekend in a nutshell.  Things are moving right along.  Today starts my first official day of my new budget.  I have to go pay the rent and take out the money for our "eating out" cash for the month.  I'm so excited about trying to lead a more fiscally responsible lifestyle.  LOL.  I know that seems weird.  I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend.  Happy Monday!