Pouch Test - Day 4

I graduated to firm protein yesterday yet found myself pretty much sticking to mushies since that's what I have laying around.  So I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast, 1/2 cup of tuna salad for lunch, 1/2 a small strawberry shake from sonic (I know, I know but it was SO good and I only drank half...not bad) and then about 1 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes with sirloin beef stew on top.  Dinner made me overly full - must remember to measure BEFORE I eat.

Borrowed pic from yesterday but it was identical - same plate and everything

Today - breakfast started with a 1 cup helping of the mashed potatoes and stew.  Lunch will be deviled eggs, and Italian meatballs for dinner.

I think this week has been a success.  We're starting paleo tomorrow.  I am of the 80/20 belief so aiming for being paleo 80% of the total time of my life.  LOL.  Honestly...looking forward to a salad or something crunchy.  I'm really hopeful that I see a significant loss on the scale on Monday.  We'll see.  No big plans for the weekend.  Going to San Francisco for work on Monday so just spending family time this weekend.  Hope y'all stateside enjoy your Memorial Day.

Friday Funny:

Pouch Test - Day 3

We moved on to Day 3 of the pouch test yesterday.  I had 1/2 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast.  1/2 c of refried beans with 2 tablespoons of cheese for lunch and repeated that again as a snack.  I ate every 2 1/2 hours.  So not too shabby.  For dinner (which I forgot to take a pic of...sorry), we had scrambled eggs with cheese and a spoonful each of cottage cheese and beans....probably about a cup of food total.  And, of course, a whole lot of coffee.  :)

So how's my pouch feeling?  Not bad.  I didn't feel full after the 1/2 cup of food.  I didn't even feel full after the full cup at dinner.  However, as Hubby reminded me, my band has never made me feel full unless I've eaten too much.  After 1/2 cup, I was satisfied for 2 1/2 hours (these are mushies so I feel pretty good about that).  I DO think I need a fill but we'll wait until July for that.  Until then, I'll continue to measure out my portions until I get back to a really good place with how I'm eating.

The menu for today - cottage cheese, tuna salad and sirloin chunky soup with mashed potatoes (mostly just because it's a family favorite) or shepherd's pie.  I can have firm protein today but kind of sticking to mushies because I've got so much of it in the house.

I promised a mental state of the union post and you will get it....could this be a 2 post Thursday?  Maybe...if you're lucky.  :)

Pouch Test - Day 2

Check!

Yesterday I had coffee (again, lots of it), 1/2 a fruit smoothie, roasted pepper & tomato soup, sugar free pudding, cheese soup, and 64 oz of water.  Both Hubby and I had to fight the urge to get ice cream, a frosty, milkshake or equally ridiculously thing last night but fight it we did.   In some ways yesterday was easier than the first day in that I wasn't really that hungry but I really WANTED to eat.  It was all mental for me.

This was my saving grace yesterday...Love this stuff!

Today, it's on to soft protein.   I'm going to finish my coffee and then embark on some cottage cheese.  Very excited!  Hubby has already attempted scrambled eggs this morning and was happy to report that he couldn't even finish his usual serving so there might just be something to this whole pouch test thing.

 How about some Hump Day Happy Thoughts to keep us going until Friday???

There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means - either may do - the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.

- Benjamin Franklin

If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.

-Orson Welles

 Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.

-Norman Vincent Peal

Pouch Test - Day 1

Success but I am HONGRY!!!!

I had an Atkins shake, sugar free pudding, cheese soup, broth, over 64 oz of water and 8 million cups of coffee.    I did treat myself to 8 oz of chocolate milk as a before bed snack.  Since my doc didn't require a preop diet, I don't do self deprivation well so I am very crabby.  On top of this little liquid dealie, my time of month arrived yesterday.  Lovely.  So a couple notes....

In an effort to return to habits that kept me successful the first couple years, I resurrected my 16 oz Starbucks cup.  And I didn't fill it with Starbucks.  Score!  This was how I used to get all my water in while I was at work.  When I moved, it got retired...not really sure why.  I dug it out yesterday and got all 64 oz.  Amazing, eh?

I only managed one of these yesterday and in my opinion, that was one too many.  Ick!

This was my saving grace.  I was still so worn out from the weekend that I needed a lot of this yesterday.  Kept me sipping all day.

It occurred to me that I didn't tell you what I did over the weekend.  I drove up to SC for a brain cancer benefit.  They raised lots of money, I got very drunk, partied with my sister and her husband and then drove home hung over on Sunday.  Good times.  :)

So now we're on to day 2.  I can do this. I can do this.  I can do this.

I read several blog posts yesterday about people starting over and I found myself putting the same comment on these blogs so now I'll put it out here.  Some people may find it sad, pathetic or a failure that I am constantly starting over.  THEY'RE WRONG!  As long as I'm starting over, then I'm not giving up and as long as I'm not quitting, then I'm not failing.  I'm winning.  I think we should all remind ourselves that as long as we never give up, then we're victorious.

I Lied

But I didn't mean to.   I really thought my weight was holding fairly steady.  I was feeling squishier but figured that was from not working out, losing a little toning.  Basically I was in denial.  Self enforced denial as I wasn't stepping on my scale.  Well, last week, I decided enough was enough and it was time to get back on track.  Enter the "5 Day Pouch Test."  Honestly, I've never been a fan of this.  Is it a fad?  Is it real?  Who knows?  But I need a mental reboot....an attitude adjustment if you will.  I had no idea how badly I needed this until I stepped on the scale this morning.  *SIGH*  OK....I'm ashamed to tell you but I'm going to because accountability is the most important part of all this.  Accountability to myself...but also to you...those of you who have followed this journey for so long.

Last Weigh In: 167
Current Weight: 182

I can't believe I've let myself get back into the  180's.  I'm really dealing with a lot of disappointment in myself this morning and a dash of self loathing thrown in for good measure.  I'm not going to dwell on that, however.  I knew I was off track.  I knew I was back into old habits.  I knew it had to stop before I stepped on that scale.  I weighed 182 before I KNEW I weighed 182 so there's no point in wallowing.  I refuse to be another WLS statistic of gaining one's weight back.  Today...we're starting fresh.  The ticker's been reset.  Let's do this!

Now a fill is out of the question right now.  I do not have a lapband doc here in FL.  I'm actually seeing my lapband doc in Phoenix in July and will request a fill then.  Until then, we're kicking things off with a 5 day pouch test.

So the 5 Day Pouch Test...I think most of you know what this is by now.  It's been around a long time but basically it's a miniature version of the post-op diet.


Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. Read more.

Day 3: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy. Read more.

Day 4: Firm Protein 
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut. Read more.

Day 5: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

The idea is that it gives you an idea if you've really screwed up your pouch, gives you that newbie tight feeling and gives you a mental shift of being control of your eating again.  I'm hoping for all these to happen.  I've got my coffee, protein shakes and soup ready to go today and tomorrow.  Hubby's doing it with me so that helps immensely.

The other piece of this puzzle is the blogging.  It is not lost on me that I've gained this much weight in my absence of blogging.  Get ready to see more of me.  Self denial phase is done.  Back to weekly weigh ins and getting back to doing what I set out to do 3 years ago but have somehow lost the gusto for.  I have more emotional/mental notes about all this that I'll delve into this week but this post is already too long.  

Monday DEMotivator:

Prone to Injury?

I think I'm just prone to injury.  I remember having this issue early on in my weight loss journey.  It seemed every time I turned around, I was falling down, scraping knees, twisting ankles, pulling muscles.  Two weeks before the 3 day, I was battling heel pain.  I've got weak ankles.  I've got every brace they make.  At the beginning, I blamed it on hauling this extra weight around.  It was hard to be tubby and graceful at the same time.  Of course you're going to pull muscles when you haven't used them in so long.  It seemed after that first year, the injuries had subsided.  I was doing my 5k's and the warrior dash and other than the good kind of sore, there really weren't any injuries or nagging pain to speak of.  Is 6 months of inactivity enough to put me right back to square one?

I walked 3.9 miles last night.  The knee felt alright.  I wore the brace like a good girl.  Truth be told, I don't like walking in it.  It's uncomfortable and for some reason, I keep having to adjust it.  Anyway, I got home, had some ice cream (I know, I know!) and it was OK.  I woke up this morning and it hurts like hell.  WTF?  It's so frustrating to finally start moving again only to have this nagging injury or pain or whatever it is.

It doesn't hurt on the bike so maybe I should just keep riding that until the knee pain is completely gone?  I don't have a road bike though.  I have a beach cruiser which is great but it's not like I can really get after it and work up a good cardio on it.  Or do I just keep walking through the pain and strengthen that muscle?  I don't know but I'm pretty ticked about it at this point.  I hate when my body doesn't cooperate.

No big plans for the weekend.  We were going to hit up the beach this weekend but they're calling for rain so we'll see how it goes.  For all you moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!

And in honor of moms everywhere, I give you a Friday Funny...

Thursday Fun Day

No, it's not really a fun day but I liked the title.  How'd yesterday go?

Breakfast: Bagel and Starbucks
Lunch: Salad with turkey.
Appetizers: Chips with Cheese Dip.
Dinner: Steak and mashed potatoes.
Stress Relievers: 2 glasses of wine, 1/4 pint of Ben & Jerry's and a 10.8 mile bike ride

I'm sure you see the areas for improvement.  LOL.  Working on it...working on it.

Today, I have managed to skip breakfast somehow.  Not really sure how that happened.  I have left over steak and mashed potatoes for lunch.  Burgers and chips for dinner.  I might have a salad instead.  That would be the smart thing to do.  We shall see.

I'm planning a walk tonight as opposed to a bike ride as my bum is a bit sore from the ride last night.  These aren't races people...

If you ride a bike to the store to pick up ice cream and then eat ice cream, does it cancel out?  Hmmm....

Work Sucks

First, my knee.  It was a bit sore yesterday so instead of walking, I rode my bike down to the grocery store to pick up Hubby's prescription and cookies.  I had 2 cookies.  Sue me.  The knee doesn't hurt on the bike so figured that was safest bet.  It's 5 miles round trip so I feel good about that and may do it more often.

Outside of the cookies and sweet tea, food was good yesterday.  I had 2 salads and cookies.  Nothing too wrong with that.

So why does work suck?  Cue the phone ringing at 1 am this morning with an issue.  Seriously?  Understand that I am usually in bed by 9 so this is the middle of the night to me.  The protocol is to try my boss FIRST and if she doesn't pick up THEN call me.  So I join the conference call and they tell me that our third party actually called me out specifically in the help desk ticket.  UGh.  So I'm sitting there waiting to hear what the issue is...and waiting...and waiting.  I finally decide this is redonk since it's only 10 pm in AZ.  So I text my boss to see if she was awake and much to my surprise she actually dialed in and told me to go back to bed.  First time I've ever gotten real support from her.  Alas!  The damage was already done.  I had a very difficult time falling back to sleep and poor Hubby NEVER fell back to sleep last night.  Poor guy!   This particular third party feels it necessary to call my cell over every little issue they have and I am getting pretty sick of it.  Ugh.

So I'm tired today but it's another pretty day so there's a walk and/or bike ride somewhere in my future today.  We'll see how the knee behaves as to which I do.  Special thanks to Ascha2L.  I had actually found that possibility on Dr. Google but I'm choosing to be in denial at the moment.  :)

I'm feeling pretty good about where I'm at right now as far as this healthy stuff goes.  I feel that motivation kicking in again and that commitment rebuilding.  I have a salad all ready to go for lunch today.  Some clarification on the salad thing.  No, I'm not resorting to old "eat like a rabbit" diet to lose weight.  For some reason, they just sound really good lately so I'm indulging in salads.  Ha!

It is Wednesday...already Hump Day so I give you a Hump Day Happy Thought.

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

Golda Meir

Stupid Knee

I don't know what my knee's problem is.  I went for a walk last night and I started to feel it tug.  I turned around and headed up.  I made it 1.77 miles at about a 17 minute/mile pace.  Not too bad but it was pretty sore by the time I got home.  I'm walking again tonight come hell or high water.  I'm throwing the brace on my knee and telling it to suck it up.  I'm thinking it's trying to rebel against exercise but I will reign victorious!!!

I'm feeling good about the walking.  I like being able to put my ear buds in and just go.  Takes my mind off things for a little bit.  I'm starting to get my mojo back at work a little bit.  The last few weeks have not been impressive.  I've been finding it hard to focus and get motivated.  While I'm still struggling, I'm at least getting things done again.

Short post today but I want to hold myself accountable to my walking.  One of the bloggers is doing 30 days of taking a picture of everything she eats.  I like this idea.  I'm not sure that I'm committed enough to do it but I think I'd like that more than tracking in a calorie counter.  Hmmm....Will have to consider this...maybe in June when all the birthdays hit.  Good way to count how many pieces of cake I eat.

I'll leave you with a random pic of my girls I took a couple weeks ago.  Don't they look so grown up?

Rain is Gone...For Now

The pain in the knee comes and goes which concerns me because it makes me think there might actually be something wrong with.  Activity has been close to null but changing that tonight.  It rained nonstop from Wednesday night until Sunday morning.  "Sunshine State" my butt.  

So Saturday was a lot of just hanging out at home trying to not to the let girls go to stir crazy.  We did find a fabulous BBQ place here though!  We've tried a lot of different places since moving here and this one is head and shoulders better than all of them.  Mojo's has become my favorite restaurant so far.  

Sunday we saw Ironman 3 with the neighbors.  I liked it so much!  I admit I'm a geek for Marvel movies.  I don't think it was as good as the first 2 but it was a good flick.  Once we got home, the neighbors took my girls to the pool for their first swim of the season.  The water is still too cold, in my opinion, but the girls loved it.  Hubby and I took a little nap while they were gone.  

Sadly, that was about it.  With the rain and general "blah" feeling I've been having, that's about as good as it got.  This week, the goal is to walk any night that it isn't raining.  I'm heading to the store at some point today to buy the food for the week.  I've got to start eating better again.  The portions have made their way back to normal but the quality is definitely off.  

Special shout out to Andrea who got married this weekend!  Congratulations sweetie!

And after a long absence, I bring you a Monday DEMotivator:

Ridin' in the Rain

Since moving here, the girls and I ride our bikes to/from school every day.  When it rains, we generally walk so that we can use the big umbrella.  Today the rain was really coming down.  My youngest wanted me to drive them.  2 problems with this.  1) The car line at this school is utterly ridiculous!  2) We live a block away!  I am not driving them a block away!  So we sucked it up and rode our bikes because that's faster than walking and they have rain jackets so great.  Yeah...except I don't have a rain jacket.  I got back totally soaked through.  Clothes are in the dryer and am working so I lived but I will buying a rain jacket pronto!

My knee is feeling a bit better today.  Keeping the brace on for today but may try for a short, easy walk this evening.  I didn't walk last night to give it an opportunity to rest but don't want to go 2 days in a row.  Speaking of exercise, found this tidbit on CNN.

Excuse-proof your Workout

The point of this article to bust through the top 5 excuses for not working out.  Full article is linked to the title but I'll give you tidbits and my opinion in blue.  (Ah...I forgot how much I missed "In The News" posts...)


The excuse: I'm too pooped.

The reality: It's the number-one reason you blow off workouts. Know this, though: Studies have shown that regular physical activity can improve energy. If you don't believe it, commit to a week of exercise and see if you notice a difference.  Being too tired is one that I've used often enough.  And I know I feel more energy when I'm working out.  They give a suggestion about a special kind of alarm clock to get you up to go in the morning or enlisting a workout buddy if you prefer evenings.  Truth is... even if it's a walk, gotta just make yourself bust through the tired thing.

The excuse: There aren't enough hours in the day.  I'm not even going to bother putting in the reality piece of the article here.  There IS time...you just have to find it.

The excuse: I don't want to redo my hair and makeup.  I'm not justifying this one with the reality either. Seriously???  This is an excuse people use?  I've never been an overly girly type but come on!  Suck it up buttercup!


The excuse: Exercise makes me eat more.

The reality: Actually, if you work out at a moderate-to-vigorous level (think a brisk walk), a shift in hormones may help suppress your appetite immediately post-workout. In a recent study, researchers at Brigham Young University showed images of food to women who had just finished a 45-minute morning workout. Their neural response to the food was less than it was on non-exercise days. The researchers also found that women did not eat more on the workout day to make up for calories burned.
I've argued this point before.  I actually DO think exercise makes you eat more.  For this one study, there are others that show people DO eat more on days they work out vs days they don't.  That being said, I think a lot of that is mental and thinking you're allowed more calories just because you worked out.  But then again I wouldn't classify a "brisk walk" as moderate to vigorous either.

As you can see, I basically think this article is crap.  None of these tips actually help you stop making excuses.  I suppose it helps if you don't think you're making excuses.  If you use any of these excuses but think they're legitimate reasons as to why you aren't working out, then you're in denial and this article may help you see the light.  I, personally, am under no delusions regarding why I haven't been exercising.  I'm simply lazy.  

Happy Thursday everyone!

It's Hell Getting Old

Thank you all for the warm welcome back!  As always I'm overwhelmed by how fabulous this community is!

I went for my walk last night.  3 miles in about 54 minutes.  Not bad...except for one nagging problem. I felt a little tug on the back of my knee as I started my walk last night.  I stretched a bit and figured it was just from lack of any activity in the last several months so I figured the more I walked, the more it'd stretch and it'd get better.  It was pretty sore by the time I finished my walk last night.  This morning...TERRIBLE!  I can barely put weight on it!  I have no idea what I did to it.  All I did was WALK!  So I'm nursing the knee today.  Can't find my brace (I know I have one somewhere) so I'll be running to the pharmacy to get one once traffic dies down.  I'm tellin' ya...it's hell getting old.

Otherwise it's just another day in paradise.  My next door neighbor was taken to the hospital Monday with chest pains and she's still there with no idea what's wrong with her.  She's only 34!  So scary!  So we'll be taking dinner for her family tonight.  We've become pretty tight since we moved in.

Random note...May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month.  Some of you may have noticed I changed my profile pic on facebook to reflect.  I'll probably keep it up for the month.  You may recall that my brother in law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in December 2010.  He was given between 6-12 months to live.  That was 2 1/2 years ago and he's still doing great!  His MRI's are stable and he's still working.  He goes into chemo every other week and other than feeling more tired, he's holding up OK.  You can see his most recent speech for MUSC brain cancer center on youtube - he's about 5 minutes in.  Link is here.

Hope y'all are having a wonderful Wednesday and I'll resurrect our Hump Day Happy Thought:

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."

Albert Camus