February 9, 2011
We are over a month in to the New Year and I gotta say...so far it sucks. My cruise was good...but outside of that...it's just not off to a great start.
First...let's try some good news...(I'm hoping by the end of this post, I'm out of my poor-me rut). My brother in law - thank you so much for all the prayers and well wishes. He's been accepted into a promising study that could possibly buy more years with my sister and her kids. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts...he began radiation and chemo on Monday and so far, so good. The community outreach has really touched us. His work held a fundraiser for him and raised over $10,000! Another friend started a team for the Relay for Life in April (thinking of flying out to participate - money will dictate that I think) and they've raised over $1,500 so far. All this is good stuff and makes me grateful that my sister has such a good support system since we're all so far away.
My car - Ugh. Double, Triple Ugh even. Last month, my Check Engine light came on and since the car is still under warranty, I took it to the dealer to have it looked at. They replaced the thermostat and it was covered by warranty so it didn't cost that much. Check and Check. Flash forward almost exactly one month to last Thursday. It overheated on the freeway on the way home from work. I drove it right back to the dealer. They kept it all day Friday to tell me they couldn't duplicate it and they can't find anything wrong with it. I take the car back, drive it around all weekend and have no problems. Monday, on my way home from work in the exact same spot on the freeway... Overheated. Drove it back to the dealer, leaving the car running and tell them "You couldn't duplicate it. Well, now you don't have to. It's overheating right now." They took it right back and inform me it's "air pockets" from when they replaced the thermostat and had to refill the thingamajig. OK...this sounds made up but I'll go with it. Yesterday....same $*&! spot on the highway....Overheating. I drive it back to the dealer...thoroughly ticked off. They gave me a rental and said they'll have their "Chevy guy" look at it. *sigh* Don't mechanics actually train to diagnose issues anymore?!?!? They just plug these cars into computers and let it spit out what's wrong with it! Since the computer says everything's fine...it must be fine. Ugh!!!! At least I have a rental. And I like the rental more than my car (even though I love my car) so they can keep as long as they need to.
My back. Seriously???? I'm in better shape than I've seen in the last 6 years and I woke up yesterday practically unable to move from this horrendous back pain. I took a couple Motrin (I know, I know) and it didn't even put a dent in it. I haven't worked out all week (I know, I know) so I couldn't have pulled anything. I went to bed Monday night feeling fine, woke up Tuesday unable to stand up straight. WTF??? This morning is A LITTLE better but still pretty painful. I'm hoping it's completely gone by tomorrow. Between the car issues and the back pain...no workout Monday, Tuesday or today. Ugh.
Work stuff. There's really not a lot here to report. I did have my "discussion" with the guy from that other group that would involve relocation and a possible promotion. I decided that it just wasn't for me. 1) They couldn't pay me what I'd be worth at that point. 2) Their group is already beyond dysfunctional and I don't think everyone over there is ready to change that. 3) I don't feel the need to get a "promotion" but get less respect for what I do. So there you have it. Stuck in my same position in the same freakin' cubicle I've been at for the last 5 years. *sigh* Again, it's not that I dislike my job. I'm actually fairly content with my job. I just feel like it's time for something more.
Money Stuff. I know...I know... Who ISN'T having this problem right now? Some years ago, my hubby and I got into quite a bit of debt. We learned our lesson, started paying cash for everything and slowly started paying off the debt. We weren't getting anywhere. We finally enlisted the help of a nonprofit debit counselling agency. Not one where they settle the debt or consolidate...just one that negotiates lowest interest rates, you make one payment to them and they divy it out to the creditors. We still own the accounts and can make payments ourselves if we want to (not that we can). Yes, we can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. In two years, we'll be debt free (outside of my hubby's student loans. He went to law school so we'll probably have those forever). Does the idea of being debt free make me happy? Yes. But it doesn't change the fact that for the next two years, it's more of the same. Scrimping, saving...paycheck to paycheck...praying that nothing unexpected happens because we just don't have extra cash around. It's exhausting constantly trying to come up with enough money even just for the basics...gas, groceries, car insurance. I feel like we've worked so hard and we have nothing to show for it. Then I start feeling guilty. My girls don't get new clothes very often...they're not currently signed up for any kinds of activities (soccer ended in December). True...they're only 5 and 3 and maybe organized activities isn't really necessary right now but they have interests in doing some (my oldest has expressed an interest in dance class and my youngest liked soccer more than my actual soccer player). The truth is the money just isn't there to pay for this stuff right now.
So let's try to circle back to the positive stuff. I'm healthier than I've been in years. My hubby is back on the healthy train and will, God willing, be banded sometime this year. My girls are healthy, happy and so, so funny. And we're making it. We're paycheck to paycheck but somehow we always put food on the table. I guess it's just going to have to be enough, eh?
With that...I leave you with a Hump Day Happy Thought:
Happiness comes only from appreciating what you have right now. You can even be happy by appreciating your troubles because they are helping to build your character.
- Harriet Meyerson