2 Post Thursday

2 posts in one day?!?!  From me?!?!  Impossible!!!

Well, believe it Candyland players....because I've been spending a good bit of today reading back through my old posts.  I just picked a few dates and started reading from there.  And I noticed a couple things:

• I use bullets a lot.
• I'm long winded.  Seriously...how can you people follow someone who rambles on and on and on about virtually nothing?
• I have seriously lost sight of where I started, how far I've come and how motivated I used to be.

Obviously, I'm going to harp on that third bullet.  My early banding posts were so focused, so driven, so... positive.  I knew - KNEW- that even if I was having an off week or whatever that I was going to do what needed to be done to get back on track and back to do what I knew I had to do.  And something has happened.  I've become complacent.

Reading through those posts, I remembered how driven I was and how motivated.  I can see that I have struggled with exercise through out this entire journey and am constantly struggling to be more active.  I saw how I set lofty athletic goals and then worked diligently, sometimes for MONTHS, to obtain them.  So what the hell happened to that person!??!!?  Life.  That's what.  It is impossible to stay so myopic about something all the time, day in and day out, year after year.  Well, folks.  Not for me.  Not for you.  Not for any of us.  This losing weight thing we've all embarked on...this was a long haul prospect.  Your health is with you FOREVER.  This was about obtaining a better quality of life.  Have I obtained that yet?  Yes and no.  Some things are way better but I've still got a LONG way to go.  And I'm not going to stop until I get there.  Starting right now...I'm back on the positivity wagon, I'm back on an active wagon and I'm back on the road to success.  In the words of Jerry Maguire, WHO'S COMING WITH ME?

Shopping and Fill

So I did some shopping yesterday.  My incredibly awesome mom gave me mucho dinero to buy clothes with.  This was her Christmas gift to me.  No, it's not "What Not To Wear" new wardrobe kind of  money but it was very generous.  Now I could think of a dozen other things to do with this money.  In the past, monetary gifts have gone towards bills, stuff for the kids, car repairs I had been putting off, etc.  This year, I committed to ME and spending it on ME. So I did.  I bought 4 new pairs of pants for work, a few shirts, 2 new camis and a sweater.  I was going to buy the first dress I've bought in a long time but instead bought a new pair of jeans.  I wasn't looking for jeans but had to buy them because of what the jeans SAID.

Uh huh.  Vera Wang Size 12 ULTRA SKINNY!

And me in the jeans....kinda blurry. sorry.

All the pants were a size 12 but I did squeeze into a size 10 and was able to zip them up but they weren't flattering.  I spent all of the money and I don't feel guilty about it...not one bit.  OK...maybe a little guilty, especially since I'm hoping they're transitional clothes but I was feeling pretty frumpy in my current stuff.


I also got a fill yesterday.  Last one of the year and last one where I only have to pay a copay.  I really hope I don't need another one any time soon...our "fill budget" will be completely taken up by Hubby's stuff this year, I think.  Anywhoozle...I weighed in on the doc's scale at 160.5 lbs.  Their scale always runs a lb or two heavier than mine (and I'm fully dressed on theirs as opposed to when I weigh in at home) so I'm actually not too upset about this.  It was only a 1 lb loss from my last fill though.  I could tell the doc was hesitant to give me another one as we both agree some poor choices are the main problem but he caved and gave me a small fill anyway.  I also found out that we'll save more money by going to self pay once my insurance changes over at the beginning of the year.  The office visits aren't as expensive as I thought they would be that way so I was relieved to get that straightened out yesterday as well.  So far, so good with this fill.  I'm hoping this jump starts some weight loss for me.

So what else might jump start my weight loss?  Perhaps the 5k I've decided to run in January.  That color run I've been talking about?  I'm doing it.  I start training Monday..got a 4 week program figured out so that should definitely help shed some pounds also.  I finished my last 5k in 40:35.  We're going to see if we can beat that.  I may have someone running with me and it's just a fun run/walk, not a race so we'll see.  Not gonna stress over it.  The main thing is to run the whole thing.

So that was my Hump Day happy place...a little shopping, a little fill... all good stuff. I'm taking tomorrow off so I'm happy it's my Friday.  Preview of what's up next on Panda's blog:  New Year goals and my "word" for the year.  Hope y'all have a great weekend and a fantastic New Year!

It Was Nice...

Just a low key family Christmas.  We went to my parents' house Christmas Eve (pics to come) and had a turkey dinner,opened presents and then had snacks.  I did OK on the cookie front this year but those chocolate covered pretzels and peanuts did me in.  *sigh*  Oh well.  Christmas day was spent with Hubby and the kids basking in the present afterglow.  We spent about an hour at my parents' house so we could see my grandmother who is 91 this year.  We figure there can't be many Christmases left with her and I think it meant a lot to her that we came by.  I also indulged in my Oreo Surprise which is only the yummiest and simplest dessert on the planet!

Present of the Year...snapped a quick picture of it with my phone.  Hubby had my tag from my first 5k that I ran in March framed along with a couple pics of the event.  Isn't he so sweet?!?!?!

Back at work today and then I have tomorrow off.  Still working on my goals for 2012...figure I'll be ready to start tackling them by Monday.  Hubby and I spent yesterday evening with some friends and we were talking about how sick of holiday food we are.  His friend said it best I think when he said "It's like all I've been eating since Thanksgiving is butter and gravy."  That's exactly how I feel!  I don't think I could handle one more heavy meal right now.  Definitely looking forward to getting back on the "light" and healthy wagon.

Hope y'all are having a good week!  I'll be checking in on Thursday.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

And so it's Christmas Eve Eve.  And yet, the spirit still eludes me.  I'm trying not to let it bring me down but it's kind of hard.  Christmas is usually my favorite time of year.  I love the lights, the decorations, the cookies...all of it!  But this year has passed me by.  I haven't even watched Christmas Vacation or Scrooged or the Grinch!  I don't know if it's because it's been a particularly busy holiday season with my procedure, hubby's surgery, the new job and just having so much more to do as an adult... I feel like a Scrooge and am just ready for it to be over.  This is new for me and I don't like it one bit.  I still have a couple more days...perhaps as you grow older, you can just become more cynical about the holidays.  I don't know.  But enough of this because I do love Christmas and it's still a time for celebration.

I'm working on goals for next year.  They're not all health related (if you go back and read previous ones, they never are).  I think it's easy to get myopic about this weight loss thing and forget that being a well rounded person is more important.

I'm at work today...one of apparently the very few.  Over half of my office is gone so it's going to be a very long and very boring day.  I've already read all the blogs from yesterday and I've only been here 30 minutes.  *sigh*

I know everyone has a different reason to celebrate this time of year and I don't usually get all religious on anybody because I've been experiencing my own crisis of faith the last couple years but in the true spirit of the season, I offer up a quick request that God bless all of you who have been so supportive throughout this year during this holiday season and keep you safe throughout your travels.


Alrighty...well, I guess that's it.  I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!  Drink lots of eggnog, leave cookies out for Santa and don't stress about your weigh in Monday morning.  Christmas calories don't count!

Ten Thing Thursday 12.22.11

I think it's Ten Thing Thursday, right?  or is that on Tuesdays?  Whatever...I'm gonna think of 10 things to tell you about today so we'll just go with it.

1. Saw "The Muppets" with my kids yesterday.  Seriously, if you're any kind of Muppet fan at all, you'll love this movie.  It's just too cute.  My kids loved it but they're Muppet kids...my hubby is a fan from way back so we had all the movies before my kids were ever born.  Some kids might not get it or like it because the Muppets are mainstream anymore but we had a good time.  It was also the first time all 4 of us went to a movie together so it was a lot of fun.
2. Fell down my stairs yesterday too.  Not head over ass falling down my stairs...more like sliding but it hurt.  And my left side and back hurt today.  Not good.
3. Got almost ALL of my wrapping done yesterday.  Kiddos went to my mom's to bake cookies so I got to wrap all the Santa gifts.  I have one more gift for my oldest to get (not sure what it is yet) and one for my hubby but it'll be so nice not wrapping gifts the night of Christmas Eve paranoid that the kids will come downstairs and have Santa ruined for them (ala the last 5 years).
4. My sister and niece are coming for a visit in January.  Happens to fall on the same weekend as the Color Run.  I'm trying to talk my sister into doing it with me.  We'll see.
5. Many of you have inquired on how Hubby's doing (so nice of you!).  He's doing good.  Incision is healing and he's in a little less pain every day.  He's struggling with the unfill but trying to watch his portions and not eat more just because he can.  While he didn't have great restriction before, I think he appreciates that the band was doing SOMETHING just not all it could do.  Hopefully we'll get him to a good restriction level soon.  He has a fill to take him to hopefully at least half way to where he was the last week of the year.
6. Insurance sucks.  So I've complained about my insurance changing at the beginning of the year and how that's going to suck.  Well, my current insurance is no fantastic thing now.  Apparently, my referral to my lapband doc expired (HMO's - gotta love 'em) so I had to get a new one from my pcp.  Fine.  I've had to do this before.  No big deal, right?  Uh huh.  My pcp has changed (guy sold his practice) and they wanted me to see the new guy before they'd give me my referral.  So I went in yesterday and saw the PA..not even the doctor...to get my referral.  How idiotic is this?  All to get a referral to see a doctor I've been seeing since 2009?!?!?  Unreal.
7. I learned I'm a little defensive about my band.  The PA I saw yesterday was asking all these questions about the band, "What can you eat?", "How much have you lost?", "So you don't regret having it done?", etc.  In my head I was like "Don't you dare judge me lady!"  But I'm answering her questions honestly about everything and at the end, she said her dad really needs to do something about his weight and she thinks a surgical option might be a good way to go.  She was just asking all those questions because she honestly just didn't know the answers.  Note to self:  don't jump to conclusions.
8. I got my haircut yesterday (I didn't realize how busy I was yesterday until I started writing this post).  It's cute.  It feels a lot better as I got rid of a lot of unhealthy hair in the cut.  I'll post pic as soon as I get one but the lady at the salon annoyed me because as she's shampooing, she asked if I color my own hair or have it professionally done.  She knows this answer to this...she's a professional for god's sake.  Then she goes off on a long tangent about the damage of doing all over color on your hair, blah, blah, blah.  It's like when the dental hygienist asks you if you floss.  You know she already knows and is just using this question as a way to give you a lecture about why you should.  Just cut my hair, lady.
9. Sometimes I wonder when you leave a stylist a tip through the credit card, do they really get it or is just going into some big jar for everyone or does the owner just steal it and now this stylist doesn't think I tipped her?  I never have cash on me so I always just add a tip to my bill when I run my card, but I got to thinking yesterday...how do I know she gets it?
10. I've been eating out too much.  I'm hoping once the girls are back in school and Hubby and I get back to a routine that we'll get back to meal planning and all that.  I'm craving a salad...you know you're not eating well when you start to crave a salad.  And then this morning, woke up a little late so didn't have time to put together my lunch.  Ugh.  Must do better with this.

So there ya go.  10 things for Thursday morning.  I'm sure you're all thrilled.  

Recipe Exchange

Just a heads up...I know some of you have got some great recipes...so be on the lookout from me about a recipe exchange I'm particpating in.  I know these are usually limited to people we know in "real" life but I think it's a really good opportunity to get some good recipes even from people you don't really "know."  And if any of you should get some really good ones, we can post them on our blogs so even more people can enjoy them.  Just a thought...Shouldn't take more than a few minutes and I won't be offended if you don't participate.  Have a great Tuesday!

New Mindset?

So JRD at Canuck Bandit Musings got me thinking about changing mindsets and the band.  She's 5 months into banding and you can read her post from the link about how she feels she's mentally changing.  I was about to hijack her post by leaving a ridiculously long comment about my own musings on this but decided to just post it out in my own space as not to hog hers.  So...have I made the necessary mental changes in the last 16 months?  Yes... and... No.

Yes - Despite feeling like a failure the last couple months as I hover around 160, I finally reminded myself that I'm hovering around 160!!!  Seriously...since when has hovering around 160 been a bad thing in this fatty's life?  I was hovering around 230 for YEARS before I got the band.  Why is 160 suddenly a reason to think of myself as a failure?  Some things had to have mentally changed for me to not be gaining.  To be maintaining at a weight 70 lbs below my highest that I had maintained for at least 2 years is definitely something to be celebrated.  Sure...the band is definitely there doing what it's supposed to do but we all know that it's surprisingly easy to eat around that piece of plastic...eat sliders, graze all day, etc.  Perhaps some of these changes have become such habit (not snacking throughout the day on a bunch of crap, avoiding the candy bowl at work, etc) that I don't even think about them anymore.  Isn't that the definition of an actual mental change?  Not just noticing that I'm not doing these things but not even noticing it at all.  I'm not sure if that last part made sense but it's dawning on me that some of the good habits are becoming just that...HABITS.  Only having a couple sodas a month as opposed to 1 or 2 every day.  That's a habit...I don't even think about it anymore.  What I DO notice is when I revert...when I DO have a couple sodas in just one weekend, I feel blech about it...not guilty that I had done it but I can actually FEEL the effect that having those extra calories and sugar had on my body...the old me wouldn't have noticed that...just would've noticed that I strayed from plan and chastise myself for it.  I'd feel GUILT in my head...but not the blah feeling in my BODY.  It's a subtle difference but it's there.  Am I perfect?  God no!  But that's OK because I don't feel like I have to be in order to reach my goals...and I still feel like I will...regardless of how long I've been where I'm at.

No - Exercise is still one of those things.  For a year, I did great.  I was working out, using my gym membership (which I allowed to lapse due to financial stuff), running, setting physical goals for myself and then actually attaining them.  Yet...it never became HABIT.  Not like ordering water or iced tea at a restaurant instead of soda.  It still took a lot of mental effort to get my butt to that gym every day.  The fat girl in me would just prefer laying around and doing absolutely nothing than get up and go for a run.  And the second my life started getting the way of the activity, I used it as an excuse to let it slide.  I think this will be my focus in the new year.  Figuring out what it's going to take to make this a habit.  I still want to reward myself with food and I still want to turn to food when I'm upset, sad, angry, hurt or even happy.  I want to celebrate with it (just a lot less of it).  So that's something else to work on.  I haven't honestly put forth the mental effort of answering the question "Why do I eat?"

So those are my thoughts on mental changes.  Do I think that I could've made these changes without the band?  No.  Do I think if my band were taken out tomorrow that I could maintain these losses?  Truthfully, no.  That's my biggest fear.  So for all my mental accomplishments...I know I'm not doing this alone.  I know I still have a lot to learn and a lot to do before I could even contemplate life without my helper.  I also think it's something I'll always struggle with and have to think about and THAT'S OK.  At least I'll be able to do it in a current size 12 or hopefully smaller.

So my question to you...

Have YOU made the mental changes necessary for long term success?

Weigh In 12.19.11

160.  OK...So no real movement in weeks.  How I've been eating and NOT moving...I'm actually grateful not to see a gain.  My eating has seriously been TERRIBLE (in quality...not quantity)...DQ's candy cane chill has been making far too frequent appearances.  Exercise or any real activity has been nonexistent.  I could blame it on the silly season but I think I'm using that as an excuse to not care.  Soooo... what to do about this...eh...why not set a goal?  My sister and niece are coming out for a visit on January 25th.  My goal is to be 155 by their visit.  That's 5 lbs in just as many weeks.  SHOULD be very do-able.  This will also put me at 75 lbs down which is a nice milestone-y type number.  Here it is...in writing.  I'm so sick of putting these goals out there and then having to report that I'm not hitting it.

Thank you all for the concern for my friend.  She did not go to the ER or see a doc about what happened and I'm pretty upset about that.  I think something is wacky with her blood sugar but what do I know right?  I just hope it doesn't happen again.

Weekend was good but fairly uneventful.  We went to an engagement party on Friday night.  I had 2 martinis and was drunk.  It was just crazy.  Since losing all this weight (and I guess since I'm not able to eat much WHILE I drink), I've become a serious lightweight.  Who would've thought?  But it was fun and not so drunk as to have a hangover the next day so I guess all was well.

Does anyone else think that everyone should just get the last 2 weeks of the year off if you don't provide some sort of necessary service.  Like...OK...people need groceries and medicines and even car repair.  But seriously...no one is going to be that put out if I'm not here the next two weeks.  Half my office is gone this week...the other half is gone next week yet here I am...plugging away...blogging working diligently...ahem.  Oh well.  Tis life.

So I was done with my Christmas shopping.  D-U-N.  DONE...when my kids decided to finally make their lists to Santa.  So now I've got one exchange to make and a few new things to go get.  Doh!  Gotta make those lists earlier in the season!  Lesson learned.

And you Monday DEMotivator:

Eventful Evening

So last night I had dinner with my BFF.  We exchanged Christmas presents (she gave me a 60 minutes massage and a 60 minute facial...isn't that super sweet?!?!?), had dinner, had a drink and were just catching up on life's events after we ate when she looked at me, said "I'm not feeling well right now", lost all the color in her face and just passed out.  I mean...seriously...turned ghost white, and just started toppling over!  Luckily I jumped over and was able to catch her before she fell out of the booth and on to the floor (another reason to get skinnier - you can hop out of booths faster).  I told one of the servers to call 911.  She came to after about a minute.  The paramedics came, took all her vitals and blood sugar and what not.  About an hour later, she was doing better, although still nauseous and her blood pressure was still kinda wacky.  She refused the ambulance but they recommended she get to the ER to get checked out last night.  Her hubby came and got her and I was assured that she would be taken to the ER (even though I know she wasn't keen on going).  I hope everything is OK.  Waiting to hear something this morning as far as if they found anything.  She's been exhausted with work lately so maybe she just needs a good rest.  Very scary though!

In other news, I worked from 5:30 a.m. to 4 pm yesterday.  That is a long freakin' day when you've had 5 days off.  This new job is going to be crazy and it's going to mean longer hours sometimes.  I'm OK with that... I'm not afraid of working.  And the raise they gave me definitely helps me stay motivated to do it.  I just hope I find my way through this new position sooner rather than later.  I still feel like I kind of don't know what I'm doing.

Otherwise things are pretty good.  I'm ALMOST done with my Christmas shopping...just a few other things to pick up.  I think I can get that done this weekend and be good to go.  I skipped my weigh in on Monday...not really on purpose...just wasn't in my normal routine.  It's going to be scary Monday as I haven't drank ANY water and keep snacking on everything in sight.  One of these days, you'd think I'd get remotivated and recommitted.  We've all heard this before, right?

So now for your Friday Funny...

Catchup Post - Long

So I've been MIA the last few days..mostly because I was off of work and I tend not to use the internet at home.  To make up for it, I've brought pictures for my week in review.

So I told you we went to Zoo Lights on Thursday...here are some pics of my girls with the friends we went with.

My girls are the two on the left

Lori on the right

Maddie on the right

Friday we went to Moo-ey Christmas.  The girls had a lot of fun and it was kind of neat to feel like you're in the country or something.  These darn city folks'll pay for anything...even just to see some cows on a dairy farm!  LOL!

My girls on the hayride

Yes...it was like 50 degrees out but what can I say?  We're in AZ!  It felt cold!

She's ready to move to the farm!

Yes...the sweatshirt is 1 or 2 sizes too big but whatevs.

She held this chicken for like 2 seconds!  Can't believe we caught a pic of it!

They want a john deere for Christmas :)

Saturday and Sunday are a blur.  We did some shopping, we bought a Christmas tree (which I haven't taken a  picture of).  We decorated said tree.  Hubby had his port surgery on Tuesday.  Surgery went well but they ended up overfilling him during the surgery.  The stupid nurses in recovery apparently couldn't tell the difference between "stuck" and "nauseous" so they sent him home without him being able to keep liquids down.  After an hour or so at home and everything he drank coming back up, it was BACK to the doctor's office for an unfill.  We didn't get to see the doc because he was in surgery all day so his assistant did it.  After going back and forth a few times, they ended up taking ALL of the fluid out of the band so he's literally stuck at square one.  He's beyond frustrated with the whole thing.  He hasn't lost ANY weight since being banded and feels that it's been a giant waste of time and resources.  I can't blame him for feeling this way.  i just wanted to offer this story up as an example of when band life isn't rosy.  I still believe once he can actually have good restriction and get the band working for him that it WILL work for him and he'll lose weight.  But until then, it's beyond frustrating.  Once we were back home and picked the girls up from school, we had dinner and then relaxed in front of the fire...a perfect fire if you will that yours truly built all by herself.  There's a lot I don't like about our new townhouse we're renting but it's the first time we've had a fireplace.  This made the rest of the day not seem so bad...

My perfect fire

Wednesday was spent recuperating.  I got all my laundry washed, folded and put away so it was good.  I'm back at work today and it was REALLY tough waking up this morning.  Ugh.  I have back to back meetings and should really be doing that instead of blogging and this has probably rambled on enough so I'll wrap it up soon.

I did have a NSV I meant to report last week but forgot.  The morning of my procedure I realized that I don't own a pair of granny panties anymore.  At first, I was like...nice!  Then I realized that I HAD to have a couple pairs to get through a couple weeks after this procedure.  So on my lunch break I ran to the pharmacy to see if they sold them.  They did.  Here's the NSV.  The only concern I had was that the pharmacy wouldn't sell them at all...not that I wouldn't be able to find a pair that fit me.  The second NSV came when I put them on.  They were too big and they weren't even the biggest ones you could buy.  So now I have 3 pairs of way too big granny panties at home just in case I ever need them again. LOL.  I'll probably throw them out and it's a weird NSV to have but I'll take what I can get.

Has the Christmas spirit found me?  Yes and no.  Putting the tree up almost got me there but the surgery stuff knocked it back a couple notches.  Doing better with it though.  Happy Thursday everyone!

It Didn't Work

Zoo Lights, I mean.  I'm still not in the Christmas mood.  The group we ended up going with was bigger than I thought and the event itself was WAY busier than I thought it would be and I was so busy wrangling kids and making sure we didn't lose anyone that I didn't really enjoy it.  Sigh.  I've decided to take the "Fake it til you make it" approach.  I'll do all my normal holiday stuff and maybe the spirit will find me.  If not, well that's just the way it is I guess.

On the agenda tonight, we have "Mooey Christmas!"  I finally googled it to figure out what it is.  Basically, it's a little farm in the middle of a town that offers hayrides, Santa, snow, smores and a pancake breakfast dinner.  Sounds like fun.  The girls will like it.

As promised...I have pictures today...

My pretty princess birthday girl

Us at the Desert Botanical Gardens

Aren't we just adorable?  And of course, I leave with a Friday Funny....

Not A Good Start

I'm not doing as well this morning.

******TMI Warning****

So since my procedure I've been really constipated.  Not one bowel movement since Monday.  So last night, I decide it's time to tackle the beast.  It seriously took an hour in the bathroom, straining in order to get anything happening.  Finally did.  Huge sweeping relief overcame me.  Got up twice more throughout the night to continue to "work at it."  Eewwww.  Anyway...cut to this morning.

I feel achy, crampy and I'm having twinges on the left side of my abdomen that I wasn't having before.  I'm afraid I may have popped something with all the straining.  On top of all that mess, I got stuck really badly on lunch yesterday so took it easy at dinner (easy band friendly dinner tip - Campbell's chunky sirloin with vegetables poured over mashed potatoes.  Hearty and comforty food especially when it's cold out.  Anyway...) but I can still tell the band is kinda mad at me.  So I'm just feeling very yucky this morning.  

I did some more Christmas shopping yesterday, buying stocking stuffers and whatnot.  This is unprecedented for me to have gotten so much done so early in the season.  My goal is to finish by the 15th this year.  I can't even imagine what that would feel like to not be running around like a crazy person on Christmas Eve.  I think it'll be nice.  We're going to Zoo Lights tonight with the girls.  Assuming I can walk around with doubling over, I think this will be fun.  This is hubby's last day at work so his going out on his own is becoming very very real.  It's both exciting and scary. 

So that's what I got.  Sorry for the downer post but it's just kind of a downer day for me.  Hope everyone else is doing better and at least tomorrow's Friday and then I have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off of work.  Definitely looking forward to that.  

Wednesday Ramblings

I survived my procedure.  I ended up taking yesterday off even though I hadn't planned to.  All went well but was just feeling very crampy and didn't want to sit in my office chair all day so I called in.  I'm a little concerned by all the bleeding (TMI...sorry) going on but I'm giving it a couple days before I call the doc.  Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty good.

I finally started decorating my house.  Just put the stockings up and a few odds and ends.  I'm going to get some eggnog and southern comfort and really tackle it this weekend and will hopefully be fa-la-la'ing by Monday.  We're taking the girls to Zoo Lights tomorrow.  I think every city has this but basically the Zoo dresses up for Christmas time and you can walk around in amazement, drink hot chocolate and visit Santa.  Several friends are going and we'll be tagging along.  Friday we're doing Mooey Christmas...something to do with cows.  I'm a little unclear on this one.  If those two events don't get you in the holiday spirit then nothing will!

Eating has been OK this week.  The choices have sucked but the volume has been great.  I only ate one meal on Monday and that was Subway.  Yesterday I had PB&J sandwich, some chips and McD's for dinner.  For a whole day, that's not bad calorie-wise.  We'll see how it all shakes out at the end of the week.  I'm not overly worried about it given how I'm feeling this week.  Next week we have Hubby's surgery so we'll be dealing with that.  Can you hear the fa-la-la'ing already?

So that's my Wednesday.  Not much I know.  How about a Hump Day Happy Thought to make this post worthwhile?

Weigh In 12.5.11

160. -1 from last week, +1 from my lowest.  Not too shabby...At least it wasn't a gain this time.

Weekend was good.  Saturday I hung out with the family, cleaned the house a little bit, took a family nap which are rare and wonderful and then went to a small Christmas gathering later that night.  We had a good time, drank only enough to get a little buzz on and ate only 1 fish taco and half an order of refried beans so didn't really over do.  This was a group of  people that I don't always feel comfortable around (some of the women can be a little catty) and outings with them are hit and miss but this was a good one so it was nice.  Sunday, we took my niece out for breakfast and then came back and tackled our closets.  By the time we were done, we had 2 bags full of trash and 4 bags of clothes to donate to Goodwill.  My closet looks fabulously clean but woefully empty.  Definitely need some new stuff.  One thing that really bugs is that after going through the girls' closet and my closet and all the "will never fit anybody again" stuff and the "doesn't fit my oldest but will save it for my youngest" stuff and the "fits everybody but it's summer stuff" stuff, I cannot find the girls' winter jackets ANYWHERE.  It's like they just disappeared.  Still wracking my brain to figure it out but need to do it quick as it's gotten REALLY cold here (like highs in the 50's y'all!  lol) in AZ.  May need to make an emergency trip to Target.

Back at work this morning and totally not feeling it.  I've had this cold for the last few days and it's starting to wear.  I got some Mucinex D over the weekend.  The stuff works GREAT but the pills are HUGE!  I seriously get stuck on them and almost choked on one!  Once it's down I'm good.  The other godsend is Vicks Nasal Spray.  Sent from heaven...seriously.

So today is a no food or drink day for me.  No, I'm not doing an intermittent fast...I have my permanent birth control procedure this afternoon.  They knock me out for it so no food or drink for 8 hours prior.  That kinda sucks when it's in the afternoon but I'll survive.  I think Hubby is having second thoughts about the whole thing but we've discussed it a number of times and I believe we're really on the same page.  It's a little sad to know that we won't be having any more kids but I think it's the right thing for us at this point.  I don't want big age gaps between my kids and you shouldn't have more kids than you can afford.  My kids have reached a fun age where we can take them pretty much anywhere without having to lug a bunch of extra stuff around and soon we'll be able to travel and do stuff without worrying how the kids will do with a long car ride, etc.  I just don't want to start over with a new one and on top of all that...and yes, this part is selfish...I don't want to gain all that weight again.  I know a lot of women get a lapband to lose weight so they can overcome fertility issues and I think it's wonderful that they're able to do that.  But the idea of gaining 40-60 lbs again just makes my stomach turn.  So there you have it. Anyway, there's not supposed to be much to this procedure, only takes about 15 minutes and then I spend about an hour in recovery.  Honestly, the only part I'm worried about is how nauseous I'll feel afterwards.  Seems like every time I have anesthesia (wisdom teeth, lap band...not much to compare to...lol) I feel nauseous when I wake up.  I'd like to avoid that.

There you have it...the excitement that is my life.  LOL.  I got no holiday decorating done this weekend and I'm really having a hard time getting into the groove this year.  I'm usually Griswold-esque in my enthusiasm and decor but I'm just not feeling it.  I haven't even bought a tree yet and am not really looking forward to going to get one.  I need something to get me into the spirit of things but I just don't know what that thing is.  Anyone else struggling that usually doesn't?

This week is Hubby's last week at work before embarking out on his own.  He's pretty much taking through the end of the year off to get his home office set up and be home with the girls for Christmas break.  By not having them in daycare, it'll save us about $500 so that's good.  He's pretty freaked about going out on his own but I think, in the long run, it'll be the right decision for us.

Alrighty...I've rambled enough.  Your Monday DEMotivator:

Ten Thing Thursday

I've never done the 10 Thing Thursday post before so I figured I'd try it and see how it goes.  I also think that the more I post, perhaps the mojo will make its way back...we'll see how that works out.

1. I was going to be good and save money and bring my lunch today and I left it sitting on the counter when I left the house.  Brilliant!  I also forgot the rent check that has to be mailed today and my prescription I need to have refilled.  What didn't I forget this morning?  My coffee...and that's about it.
2. Number 1 task I hate doing: oil changes.  And no, I don't mean physically changing my own oil.  I mean...taking my car in.  I had a coupon for a place yesterday, took it in, took them over an hour and they tried to sell me 8 billion things while I was there.
3. I actually started my Christmas shopping yesterday.  I'm one of those still frantically searching for gifts on Christmas Eve so to even start this early is a big accomplishment for me.
4. Does anyone else have a really hard time shopping for their parents?  For whatever reason, my mom (who is usually the hardest one for me) was easy as pie but my dad...ugh...what to get someone who doesn't need anything at all.
5. Hubby finally has a surgery date to fix his flipped port - 12/13.  Yay!
6. Hubby and I have decided our family is complete.  I'm going in on Monday to have a permanent birth control procedure done.  In a few months, I hope to be baby proof and Aunt Flo free!  We'll see...
7. I'm very grateful that we're able to get these procedures done before the end of the year so we aren't paying out of pocket for them.
8. We were invited to a Christmas party this weekend.  On a whim, we've decided to go.  My niece said she could babysit..hopefully that doesn't fall through.  It'll be fun to have a date night.
9. I've set a date of 12/5 to get back on track.  I'm allowing myself to wallow for another few days, enjoy the Christmas party guilt free, and then I'm taking Robyn's advice and getting over it, re-motivating, refocusing and getting back to remembering why the heck I had this little piece of plastic implanted in me to begin with.
10. I find it ironic that part of my new job is paying invoices every month.  Hubby handles the bills in our house because I can't seem to pay anything on time (see #1 above about the rent check) and now I'm being held responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars being paid out on time every month.  I'm laughing out loud at the idea.

Coming up with 10 things was easier than I thought.  Go figure.  Hope you're all having a fabulous day...it's almost Friday!  Yay!