I disappeared again. The No Eating Out Challenge went fairly well although I did not succeed. It did get me back into a better groove and only eating out once or twice a week so that's better.
I met the lapband doc. He gave me a small fill and ordered an esophagram. I had the esophogram last week and the doc's office just called. The images look "odd." It looks as though the barium is outside of the band which would indicate an erosion. He wants to do an endoscopy to be sure. His office is emailing a couple GI docs that he prefers to use and they're going to call me to make an appointment. I'm not sure how I feel about all this. I'm scared and not sure if this is all my fault. Did I do something to cause it? I know I haven't been a good patient the last year or so. I need to do more research about causes but if has eroded, it will need to come out. I'm not sure how I feel about that part either.
For whatever reason, I'm really upset. I'm sitting here crying...but I don't really know why. I'm scared to lose the band. Angry at myself for letting this happen. Just needed to get this out there. Will keep you posted.