I have been putting this off for quite some time and the reasons are entirely mental. So let's break these down.
- My band was working fine 18 months ago. It's not the restriction level, it's me. Yes and No. My restriction wasn't ideal when I left Phoenix either. It was OK but not ideal. I still had to white knuckle more than I should've had to. I got lazy and tired of the band upkeep and it was easier to blame me than the band because obviously it's all my fault. *note the sarcasm...I realize how insane it sounds*
- I don't want to be judged by the doctor and nurses about how much weight I've regained. I've heard some docs judge or use fills as reward/punishment. My doctor never did that so I was scared to go find a new one that maybe would. Hubby went to this new doc 6 months ago and told me how great he was. I just didn't believe him. So we'll see.
- The lapband has failed. I have failed. There's not point in messing with it anymore. Did the lapband fail? No. I just stopped using it. Have I failed? Not yet.
- What is there is something wrong with the band? I don't want to face that. Best to face it head on than ignore it if there's a problem. Logically, I know this but I just couldn't deal with more stress if that's the case.
So I made the appointment. He's on vacation until October and then I'm travelling for work the week he has an open appt at the location I want so that pushed us into the end of October which is OK. It gives me time to get all my records sent over.
I still haven't eaten out and I actually came in below allotted calories on My Fitness Pal yesterday. I'm hitting the gym tonight. Moving in the right direction.